(no subject)
So I've finally got some inspiration for what I want to do with work. I've been sort of slacking lately, been a bit depressed. I quit my job at the end of August with the expectation that I'd be able to relax for a couple weeks and get a complete portfolio together by November. In reality, I haven't done much at all. I've done a couple of drawings recently and that's it.
I was stressing out a lot. I couldn't get myself to do much of anything art-wise and I was feeling like I was failing myself because I had set a goal that I wasn't meeting.
I think half of the problem was that I just wasn't ready to go back to work. Spending almost four years at Ganz really killed my creativity. The last couple months of me being there were really hard for me. I was used to being very efficient and pumping out a lot of work on a daily basis but during my last couple months, I felt completely drained. I'd get more stressed out because I wasn't performing to my usual standards but I just couldn't find any more motivation. I just didn't care anymore. So when I quit, I tasted a bit of freedom and I wasn't ready to give it up after just two months.
So the other half of my problem was that I was staying at other people's houses. I originally thought that I'd only take two months to get back on my feet again but every day that passed where I still hadn't started to work on my portfolio, I felt more and more guilty. The last thing I want to do is mooch off of people, especially people I'm not exactly close to. I felt no inspiration, motivation or creativity, yet I tried so hard to push myself to do things. As any artist knows, the more you force and push creativity, the harder it is to actually be creative (and that is the reason for my lack of motivation at Ganz, interestingly enough).
So I packed my bags and moved back to Thunder Bay about a week or two ago. Here, I'm able to take my time and not worry about imposing or feeling as if I'm mooching. It's been great for me so far. In the past couple weeks (since I decided to come back), I've felt the creativity slowly come back to me. I haven't done a lot but the fact that I feel so motivated and positive about drawing and doing illustrations... well, it makes me feel pretty good. :3 I remember how fun it is to draw and create cute characters and cute outfits. I have a lot of ideas now and my experience really helps make the flow of it a lot easier.
Anyway, my point totally got lost here. XD After all of that turmoil, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do in terms of my career. I wanted to keep doing graphic design, illustration and whatnot but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to continue working in studios. It's not that I'm put off by studios but I feel as if I want to get away from the daily 9-5 routine. I want to be able to do artwork for myself. I want to do things in my style, explore my options a little more. After talking to people who work for themselves and after looking at some artists online, I think I really want to try selling my own designs online and at conventions. I really like the idea of creating cute drawings and creating prints, buttons, pins, etc, and selling them. I think my artwork is good enough that people would be interested in buying and it'd let me sort of relax. :3
It's making me sort of excited right now. X3 I'm still sort of slow at the moment but planning for the future right now and coming up with ideas is really motivating. :D
I was stressing out a lot. I couldn't get myself to do much of anything art-wise and I was feeling like I was failing myself because I had set a goal that I wasn't meeting.
I think half of the problem was that I just wasn't ready to go back to work. Spending almost four years at Ganz really killed my creativity. The last couple months of me being there were really hard for me. I was used to being very efficient and pumping out a lot of work on a daily basis but during my last couple months, I felt completely drained. I'd get more stressed out because I wasn't performing to my usual standards but I just couldn't find any more motivation. I just didn't care anymore. So when I quit, I tasted a bit of freedom and I wasn't ready to give it up after just two months.
So the other half of my problem was that I was staying at other people's houses. I originally thought that I'd only take two months to get back on my feet again but every day that passed where I still hadn't started to work on my portfolio, I felt more and more guilty. The last thing I want to do is mooch off of people, especially people I'm not exactly close to. I felt no inspiration, motivation or creativity, yet I tried so hard to push myself to do things. As any artist knows, the more you force and push creativity, the harder it is to actually be creative (and that is the reason for my lack of motivation at Ganz, interestingly enough).
So I packed my bags and moved back to Thunder Bay about a week or two ago. Here, I'm able to take my time and not worry about imposing or feeling as if I'm mooching. It's been great for me so far. In the past couple weeks (since I decided to come back), I've felt the creativity slowly come back to me. I haven't done a lot but the fact that I feel so motivated and positive about drawing and doing illustrations... well, it makes me feel pretty good. :3 I remember how fun it is to draw and create cute characters and cute outfits. I have a lot of ideas now and my experience really helps make the flow of it a lot easier.
Anyway, my point totally got lost here. XD After all of that turmoil, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do in terms of my career. I wanted to keep doing graphic design, illustration and whatnot but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to continue working in studios. It's not that I'm put off by studios but I feel as if I want to get away from the daily 9-5 routine. I want to be able to do artwork for myself. I want to do things in my style, explore my options a little more. After talking to people who work for themselves and after looking at some artists online, I think I really want to try selling my own designs online and at conventions. I really like the idea of creating cute drawings and creating prints, buttons, pins, etc, and selling them. I think my artwork is good enough that people would be interested in buying and it'd let me sort of relax. :3
It's making me sort of excited right now. X3 I'm still sort of slow at the moment but planning for the future right now and coming up with ideas is really motivating. :D