Holiday Misery
I've cone to a realization. I don't hate Christmas. I hate most of the things associated with it. I hate the crass commercialism, the rampant materialism, the non-stop Christmas music, not to mention the smug theophobes and self-styled pagans who feel the need to point out that Christmas is "really a pagan holiday." First of all, no it's not. Second of all , we know that Jesus wasn't actually born on December 25th. The truth is the Bible has almost no information on when Jesus was actually born. Best guess is sonetime in the spring. But that's just a guess. The early church didn't celebrate the birth of Jesus, it was a practice that came along several centuries later. Almost every pre-Christian culture had some sort of holiday or festival. Most likely the heads of the church instituted Christmas for two reasons. One to give Christians their own holiday thus lessening the temptation for Christians to take part in pagan practices. Two, to attract converts from pagans. The fact that many of the traditions associated with Christmas is irrelevant, as they've been thoroughly "christianized". By that logic Thanksgiving is really a Jewish holiday (Sukkot).
Then there's the saccharine Christmas specials. So many purporting to exemplify the "true meaning of Christmas". Most of them seem to miss the whole Jesus was born angle, and even those that don't can't hold a candle to the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. (52 years old and still going strong.)
Then there's the Christmas parties. This is one of those areas where I seem to come out like Scrooge or the Grinch. Charity likes Christmas and enjoys parties. I'm ambivalen, at best, about Christmas and dislike parties. The end result is I go to Christmas parties with her to make her happy. This years was particularly unpleasant for two reasons. The first being that after telling me for a week or so that we would leave after we ate, we ended up staying til 1 am. The other being the party seemed so much louder than previous years, and I soon developed a very bad headache. I hope I have a job next year at this time so I can volunteer to work on Christmas Eve (and Thanksgiving, and New Year's Eve). I really don't look forward to Christmas after (if) I graduate. I looked it up, and it's incredibly bad form to skip the company Christmas party, and I don't know how many years I'll be able to get away with my "I already have plans that day/evening/night" ploy.
It can't be helped. I'm so introverted that socializing is painfully uncomfortable for me. It's part and parcel of having Asperger's. There's nothing that can be done to change it. I can fake it for a while, but doing so takes such an emotional toll on me that my depression becomes almost unmanageable.
Then there's the saccharine Christmas specials. So many purporting to exemplify the "true meaning of Christmas". Most of them seem to miss the whole Jesus was born angle, and even those that don't can't hold a candle to the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. (52 years old and still going strong.)
Then there's the Christmas parties. This is one of those areas where I seem to come out like Scrooge or the Grinch. Charity likes Christmas and enjoys parties. I'm ambivalen, at best, about Christmas and dislike parties. The end result is I go to Christmas parties with her to make her happy. This years was particularly unpleasant for two reasons. The first being that after telling me for a week or so that we would leave after we ate, we ended up staying til 1 am. The other being the party seemed so much louder than previous years, and I soon developed a very bad headache. I hope I have a job next year at this time so I can volunteer to work on Christmas Eve (and Thanksgiving, and New Year's Eve). I really don't look forward to Christmas after (if) I graduate. I looked it up, and it's incredibly bad form to skip the company Christmas party, and I don't know how many years I'll be able to get away with my "I already have plans that day/evening/night" ploy.
It can't be helped. I'm so introverted that socializing is painfully uncomfortable for me. It's part and parcel of having Asperger's. There's nothing that can be done to change it. I can fake it for a while, but doing so takes such an emotional toll on me that my depression becomes almost unmanageable.