Decisions, Decisions
Work tonight sucked. It was almost as busy as it was in summer. A fact that makes me dread working there over summer. Maybe something will come up, but I doubt it.
I overslept a little today. Of course, I was up past 3am working on that paper due tomorrow. Well technically today. I just finished printing it out. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I planning to make meatloaf tomorrow, assuming I have everything I need. I should. Of course things don’t always go according to plan.
Tomorrow I’m meeting Cha for lunch. Then I have a (very) tentative date to go hiking with Huiying. It started last Friday. I walked her to her car, and along the way I asked her if she’d like to do something this Wednesday. She suggested hiking, which was better than what I had in mind (Chinese buffet or the like). So it’s a tentative date. It’s not very formal, and I’m not sure if she’ll remember, but it would be nice to spend some time with her.
As far as me and Cha go, I’m still not sure. I still love her, but I have lot of conflicting emotions. I’m afraid for one thing. Both afraid that she’ll leave me again, and that I’ll do something to hurt her again. Then there’s the comfort factor. I’ve gotten comfortable being nominally single again. I’m getting this apartment in the shape I like it in, and I’m in a comfortable groove. Getting back together would require leaving my comfort zone. So I’m stuck with part of me wanting to get back together and part of me liking where I am now. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t think my friendship with Huiying is a big factor. She is in all likelihood leaving Texas at the end of the semester, so I don’t see our friendship becoming anything more. I’m just unable to decide.
I overslept a little today. Of course, I was up past 3am working on that paper due tomorrow. Well technically today. I just finished printing it out. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I planning to make meatloaf tomorrow, assuming I have everything I need. I should. Of course things don’t always go according to plan.
Tomorrow I’m meeting Cha for lunch. Then I have a (very) tentative date to go hiking with Huiying. It started last Friday. I walked her to her car, and along the way I asked her if she’d like to do something this Wednesday. She suggested hiking, which was better than what I had in mind (Chinese buffet or the like). So it’s a tentative date. It’s not very formal, and I’m not sure if she’ll remember, but it would be nice to spend some time with her.
As far as me and Cha go, I’m still not sure. I still love her, but I have lot of conflicting emotions. I’m afraid for one thing. Both afraid that she’ll leave me again, and that I’ll do something to hurt her again. Then there’s the comfort factor. I’ve gotten comfortable being nominally single again. I’m getting this apartment in the shape I like it in, and I’m in a comfortable groove. Getting back together would require leaving my comfort zone. So I’m stuck with part of me wanting to get back together and part of me liking where I am now. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t think my friendship with Huiying is a big factor. She is in all likelihood leaving Texas at the end of the semester, so I don’t see our friendship becoming anything more. I’m just unable to decide.