(no subject)
So, I was just reading through my FList, and Andy had posted an entry which ended with this:
But, I have a question for you. You, the reader.
Are you happy with who you are? TRULY happy?
And I thought about it, and then I thought about it some more, and I realised: The answer for me is yes.
And then I surprised myself because I don't think I have honestly been able to answer that as "yes" before, since I was really little and hadn't lived long enough in the world to think or know any different.
But I am, I am really truly happy right now. Despite the homesickness, and the workload, and the horrible, horrible argument with Amber, I feel like choosing to go to uni was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I sort of feel like, I don't feel the need to be a person who people like any more, I just make sure that I'm a person that I like, and somehow the rest of the world falls into place. I'm friends with people who I made friends with through my own volition, not because they were friends of a friend and I just acted like an incessant hanger-on until I became integrated into the group. And there's no tension within the group - everyone seems to like each other, there's no bitching, no one is cheating on anyone with anyone else, and it's just so NICE, you know?
Actually, it was like this when I met Andy and Laura in the queue for the Torchwood signing. We were there for the same reason, so there was no need to have that sort of High School attitude, where you know you could get stabbed in the back at any particular time, for any particular reason, and you feel like you're clinging onto your position on the popularity ladder, because even though you shouldn't care, and it doesn't really matter in the long run, at the time it really really does...
So yeah, what was my point? Oh yeah, I feel like I made friends with them in the same way that I'm making friends with people now...
And I'm really happy about it. I'm happy with my life, I'm happy with my course, with my room, with my new city (I already feel possessive about Liverpool), with most of my lecturers, and even the ones who are bad are a source of humour and kind of also of solidarity...
Chances are, next week I'll be on here whining and griping about how awful everything is. But at this exact moment in time, 1:28am on Sunday 22nd November 2009, I can, hand on heart, say that I am truly happy.
But, I have a question for you. You, the reader.
Are you happy with who you are? TRULY happy?
And I thought about it, and then I thought about it some more, and I realised: The answer for me is yes.
And then I surprised myself because I don't think I have honestly been able to answer that as "yes" before, since I was really little and hadn't lived long enough in the world to think or know any different.
But I am, I am really truly happy right now. Despite the homesickness, and the workload, and the horrible, horrible argument with Amber, I feel like choosing to go to uni was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I sort of feel like, I don't feel the need to be a person who people like any more, I just make sure that I'm a person that I like, and somehow the rest of the world falls into place. I'm friends with people who I made friends with through my own volition, not because they were friends of a friend and I just acted like an incessant hanger-on until I became integrated into the group. And there's no tension within the group - everyone seems to like each other, there's no bitching, no one is cheating on anyone with anyone else, and it's just so NICE, you know?
Actually, it was like this when I met Andy and Laura in the queue for the Torchwood signing. We were there for the same reason, so there was no need to have that sort of High School attitude, where you know you could get stabbed in the back at any particular time, for any particular reason, and you feel like you're clinging onto your position on the popularity ladder, because even though you shouldn't care, and it doesn't really matter in the long run, at the time it really really does...
So yeah, what was my point? Oh yeah, I feel like I made friends with them in the same way that I'm making friends with people now...
And I'm really happy about it. I'm happy with my life, I'm happy with my course, with my room, with my new city (I already feel possessive about Liverpool), with most of my lecturers, and even the ones who are bad are a source of humour and kind of also of solidarity...
Chances are, next week I'll be on here whining and griping about how awful everything is. But at this exact moment in time, 1:28am on Sunday 22nd November 2009, I can, hand on heart, say that I am truly happy.