Vote for Gordon Weir!

[urbpan]

Presidential campaigns are full of unrealistic insincere promises uttered by cynical Machiavellians for the purpose of manipulating the fickle and the gullible. My favorite of these, possibly of all time, is that of my good friend and former co-publisher of a reactionary art school "newspaper" Gordon Weir. I'm not supporting his campaign's ideas merely because he has access to information, documents, and probably photographs for all I know of my misspent youth and its deeds which have left me permanently unelectable to any office with more responsibility than carrying round-ended scissors. No, I heartily and passionately endorse these ideas because of their timeliness, their reflection of my moral beliefs, and the fact they are superior to any ideas espoused by the other candidates, with the possible exception of the Ron Paul/Dennis Kucinich plan to develop cyborg warrior/sexbots to fulfill the nation's future needs for warriors and unfettered sex.

I speak of course of terraforming Mars and stocking it with cloned dinosaurs.