I like to contemplate.
Everyone always says to think about your future. Whether these words come from parents, counselors, teachers, they usually mean the same thing: How are you going to earn a living? What are you going to study in college?
As of right now, I always answer the same way: I'm going to major in anthropology with a specialization in archaeology. I say this with a smile and often I get a few appropriate ooh's and ahh's and "That's so cool!"s.
For people who've known me, whether it be in real life or on livejournal, talking about the future has always been a dominant topic of conversation. I've talked about doing various things -- becoming a flight attendant, fashion designer, psychologist -- in my mind I may have touched on almost anything except engineering or any other study that requires an obscene amount of skill in mathematics, a subject that I am obscenely bad at. Looking back on it, I was always a child who was changing her mind. At one point I wanted to be a pediatric doctor. At another I wished to be a marine biologist. Before my eyesight started to deteriorate, I wanted to become a pilot. In eighth grade I just wanted to study fine arts in traditional media.
My parents always wanted me to become a nurse, following the Filipino tradition. Too bad I don't have the drive (or stomach) to dedicate myself to all the years of medical study entailed in such a career. In addition to that, due to my rather flighty personality, I can't see myself making a commitment to a career that I don't enjoy. Don't get me wrong -- I find anthropology fascinating and my earlier fixation with psychology was the entire catalyst for me wanting to study it -- but I just can't find myself doing it for the rest of my life. I think part of it is just because I know that I will only live my life once, and not a day is promised to me. I could die of old age or I could die from a car crash in three days [knocks on wood]. The point is that I never know when I could die, and seeing as I don't believe in an afterlife, I'm trying to live as best as I can; experiencing all the things I want to experience, seeing sights, and if I were to use a cliche term, "living life to the fullest."
Truth be told, I've known what I've wanted to do with my life ever since I was in seventh grade. Now I know I said earlier that I don't want to commit myself with one career, but this thing that I've wanted to do is extremely flexible; you can do anything with it, really. I have always wanted to write. After all, you can write about several different topics; you can write children's books to romance novels to modern classics. Or you can do photojournalism and help out Newsweek -- a feat in which you can not only see your work published but become educated in current events at the same time. Or you can write reviews for a video game magazine, letting gamers know the pros and cons of the latest releases. Writing is flexible; you can take it anywhere or do anything with it.
Further, I love writing in any form. I always wondered what it would be like to sit at the local bistro and sit at an outside table, writing nonstop in my notebook for hours. Living an artistic life like that would be the best for me, but since when do people actually life like that anyway? The United States is far too high-paced, filled with booming corporations and office work. It's very sad that a simple girl like me is immersed in a society that seems to not appreciate the finer things in life anymore.
"So why don't you bring back those finer things by becoming a writer yourself?" my conscience asks.
Even I don't have the answer to that one.
Writing has been a passion of mine for several years. Everyone hated writing personal essays in elementary school, whereas those were my favorite assignments. I've dabbled in different types of writing; memoirs, poetry, fiction, short story, fanfiction, reviews, articles, etc, and I've never found that I've hated a certain genre of writing. And although I've never had any formal training specifically for the field, I know I'm pretty adept at the skill when compared to my peers. I know I have potential.
So why don't I become a writer of some sort rather than study anthropology?
I honestly don't know what's holding me back. But I'll figure it out soon, just you watch!
As of right now, I always answer the same way: I'm going to major in anthropology with a specialization in archaeology. I say this with a smile and often I get a few appropriate ooh's and ahh's and "That's so cool!"s.
For people who've known me, whether it be in real life or on livejournal, talking about the future has always been a dominant topic of conversation. I've talked about doing various things -- becoming a flight attendant, fashion designer, psychologist -- in my mind I may have touched on almost anything except engineering or any other study that requires an obscene amount of skill in mathematics, a subject that I am obscenely bad at. Looking back on it, I was always a child who was changing her mind. At one point I wanted to be a pediatric doctor. At another I wished to be a marine biologist. Before my eyesight started to deteriorate, I wanted to become a pilot. In eighth grade I just wanted to study fine arts in traditional media.
My parents always wanted me to become a nurse, following the Filipino tradition. Too bad I don't have the drive (or stomach) to dedicate myself to all the years of medical study entailed in such a career. In addition to that, due to my rather flighty personality, I can't see myself making a commitment to a career that I don't enjoy. Don't get me wrong -- I find anthropology fascinating and my earlier fixation with psychology was the entire catalyst for me wanting to study it -- but I just can't find myself doing it for the rest of my life. I think part of it is just because I know that I will only live my life once, and not a day is promised to me. I could die of old age or I could die from a car crash in three days [knocks on wood]. The point is that I never know when I could die, and seeing as I don't believe in an afterlife, I'm trying to live as best as I can; experiencing all the things I want to experience, seeing sights, and if I were to use a cliche term, "living life to the fullest."
Truth be told, I've known what I've wanted to do with my life ever since I was in seventh grade. Now I know I said earlier that I don't want to commit myself with one career, but this thing that I've wanted to do is extremely flexible; you can do anything with it, really. I have always wanted to write. After all, you can write about several different topics; you can write children's books to romance novels to modern classics. Or you can do photojournalism and help out Newsweek -- a feat in which you can not only see your work published but become educated in current events at the same time. Or you can write reviews for a video game magazine, letting gamers know the pros and cons of the latest releases. Writing is flexible; you can take it anywhere or do anything with it.
Further, I love writing in any form. I always wondered what it would be like to sit at the local bistro and sit at an outside table, writing nonstop in my notebook for hours. Living an artistic life like that would be the best for me, but since when do people actually life like that anyway? The United States is far too high-paced, filled with booming corporations and office work. It's very sad that a simple girl like me is immersed in a society that seems to not appreciate the finer things in life anymore.
"So why don't you bring back those finer things by becoming a writer yourself?" my conscience asks.
Even I don't have the answer to that one.
Writing has been a passion of mine for several years. Everyone hated writing personal essays in elementary school, whereas those were my favorite assignments. I've dabbled in different types of writing; memoirs, poetry, fiction, short story, fanfiction, reviews, articles, etc, and I've never found that I've hated a certain genre of writing. And although I've never had any formal training specifically for the field, I know I'm pretty adept at the skill when compared to my peers. I know I have potential.
So why don't I become a writer of some sort rather than study anthropology?
I honestly don't know what's holding me back. But I'll figure it out soon, just you watch!