sometimes i feel so happy, but mostly you just make me mad
i was happy for a minute.
now it's passed.
i think my eyes may have been twinkling.
.
.
.
everyone always tell me i don't understand them. do you know what the problem is? no one understands me. i try so much to be a good person for the people i love. yet, i'm consistantly told i don't care. it's the universal response to whatever the fuck comes out of my mouth. i'm not going to be the girl i've been these past two years anymore. i have no use for her. i'm building the wall again, and the wall will win. i'm not handing out second chances anymore, because they turn into third and fourth chances and eventually i'll give them all away.
i've been thinking about this all weekend.
all the things i deal with are totally absurd. it's in everyone though. sometimes i think it'll be different. it never is. i have to feel bad for things i should never have to feel bad for. i apologise profusely for things i never did. i agree to things i don't want to do and i let them talk me out of the things i want to do. i subject myself to listen to comments from people i care about that kill me inside. but i smile. because that's my job, and i can't let them know i'm hurt. it's not that i don't care. i just don't have any emotion left for things like that. i feel like a robot. pretty soon i'm going to walk around on auto-pilot, and it won't even matter. do you know why? because each of them are going to know what i really think about them, and life will go on. and i won't care, because i am doing what is good for me.
so the next person who tells me i don't care.. is going to be right.
can't someone just love me for who i am?
-------------------------------------------------------------
can i tell you that my uncle just called the IM window an answer box?
decimal points and dollar signs
taxes penalties and fines
he's come to cut you down
numbers passwords protocol
it's not enough to save your soul
he's come to cut you down
bring you right back to zero
they just turn smile shift repeat
now it's passed.
i think my eyes may have been twinkling.
.
.
.
everyone always tell me i don't understand them. do you know what the problem is? no one understands me. i try so much to be a good person for the people i love. yet, i'm consistantly told i don't care. it's the universal response to whatever the fuck comes out of my mouth. i'm not going to be the girl i've been these past two years anymore. i have no use for her. i'm building the wall again, and the wall will win. i'm not handing out second chances anymore, because they turn into third and fourth chances and eventually i'll give them all away.
i've been thinking about this all weekend.
all the things i deal with are totally absurd. it's in everyone though. sometimes i think it'll be different. it never is. i have to feel bad for things i should never have to feel bad for. i apologise profusely for things i never did. i agree to things i don't want to do and i let them talk me out of the things i want to do. i subject myself to listen to comments from people i care about that kill me inside. but i smile. because that's my job, and i can't let them know i'm hurt. it's not that i don't care. i just don't have any emotion left for things like that. i feel like a robot. pretty soon i'm going to walk around on auto-pilot, and it won't even matter. do you know why? because each of them are going to know what i really think about them, and life will go on. and i won't care, because i am doing what is good for me.
so the next person who tells me i don't care.. is going to be right.
can't someone just love me for who i am?
-------------------------------------------------------------
can i tell you that my uncle just called the IM window an answer box?
decimal points and dollar signs
taxes penalties and fines
he's come to cut you down
numbers passwords protocol
it's not enough to save your soul
he's come to cut you down
bring you right back to zero
they just turn smile shift repeat