Maybe One Day
Maybe one day, one day at a time of bravery, inebriated and almost piss drunk I'll pull up in front of your house, knock on your door and tell you to your face everything that I've kept all these months. I'll tell you that I miss you some days, most days during Thursdays and Fridays when we'd each take a ride from one another because of MMDA's colorum. I'll tell you that I miss your sweet ways and your lack of words but that's okay cos I always knew what you wanted to say anyway. I'll tell you I never fail to think of you whenever I'm at Greenhills, passing through our favorite coffee place, food stands and drink stations. Sometimes, just out of compulsion of (y)our memory, I still buy there even if I don't find the need for it. Force of habit. Pull of (a happy) memory.
I'll tell you that I felt like I lost a part of myself when you left. Your unexplainable leaving. (I really believe that's what got me stuck.)
I'll tell you that I've never believed in Regret ever since I lost you. And that's nothing small for me. I'll tell you that just 6 days ago was the day I thought that you could've been the next one (after Errol). The next one of giving myself away to, wholly without bounds or walls or doubts. You could have been my next big thing but I didn't see that then just how I didn't foresee your leaving.
I'll tell you that I want you back. As much as you're trying to push me away.
Then maybe one day, when I've done that, you'd realize that I still do mean something to you - and that we were happy.
One day you'd realize that you still want that kind of happiness.
With me and no one else.