HOW I WANT TO BE IN THAT NUMBER
Marchingstuck seems to be one of those things that started off as a tiny, stupid pebble rolling down a hill, and now has about ten million other pebbles rolling down alongside it. Because I am of the impression some of you want to see more, here beneath is MARCHINGSTUCK II: SON OF MARCHINGSTUCK containing nothing you ever wanted to know about Feferi and Karkat doing Model UN. Mainly worth it for Shelby's pictures.
If you go back to the other log, there are now other pictures.
Also if you are someone who drew pictures and you're okay with them being In The Log, please say so as everything is better illustrated.
WARNING: KARKAT VANTAS MAKES ASSUMPTIVE JUDGEMENTS ON THE SEXUAL HABITS OF BANANAS
tZM: I love how there are like one hundred band members we never refer to, ever
shelby: these kids have been selected as the main characters of the documentary about the life of a marching band
shelby: and no one else matters
tZM: sollux only does reports on his friends anyway
tZM: also I can see the rest of the band being seriously depressed at being in this marching band with all these nutbars
shelby: omg these kids are like
shelby: the social rejects of MARCHING BAND
shelby: which is pretty bad
tZM: that's hard
shelby: OH ALSO MY SISTER POINTED OUT
shelby: that Aradia plays the piano in jazz band and Dave is on the drums
shelby: and they are jazz band bros
tZM: oh my god yes
shelby: gamzee is also in jazz band because he's somehow a savant
shelby: equius totally gets together like a low brass ensemble that plays at every band concert tho
shelby: yes he does, dignifiedly
shelby: unpolluted by the filth of the other sections
tZM: Is Terezi in the jazz band also, or does she devote most of her time to FLARPING and renfaire and marching band
shelby: she wasn't allowed to be in jazz band after she tried out and her "solo" was just her playing random notes over and over again for 15 minutes
tZM: 1 4M BL1ND WH4T MOR3 DO YOU W4NT
shelby: stevie wonder was blind, kid
tZM: my ass doesn't have eyes but it could play a better solo than you just did
shelby: WH4T3V3R 1 DO WH4T 1 W4NT
shelby: oh and nepeta is president of the anime club
tZM: YES SHE IS
tZM: FOREVER
tZM: only I can't think "anime club" without thinking of KC Green's Gunshow
shelby: yes
shelby: I AM THE BIG ANIME FAN
tZM: :33 < I am the big anime fan
tZM: :33 < All hail the big anime fan
shelby: john goes to the anime club one week because he thinks some anime is kind of cool and he's just like... ha ha, um
tZM: um
tZM: ha ha ha
tZM: i thought this was going to be like
tZM: my neighbour totoro?
tZM: and stuff?
tZM: :33 < john you have a purrfectly reasonable choice
:33 < either you watch every episode of death note immewdiately or you leave right now
tZM: John carefully leaves anime club
shelby: oh i just remembered i ... left ... my bag.... in the band room........
tZM: "but your bag is right here"
tZM: "MY SECOND BAG"
shelby: rhegjgwgd
shelby: "ALSO OOPS MY DAD IS CALLING ME I THINK THERE IS... A FAMILY EMERGENCY"
tZM: john runs all the way home
shelby: dude once john turns 16 his dad gets him the COOLEST CAR (like, a blue volvo) but IT IS AWESOME
tZM: he's the first one of them with a car, isn't he
shelby: oh totally
tZM: Rose has a car but never uses it to be passive-aggressive
tZM: She bikes or buses everywhere
shelby: ppftttt yes
shelby: she has a REALLY NICE CAR too
tZM: it's SUPER NICE
tZM: never used, pristine, she washes it passive-aggressively on Saturdays
shelby: oh ROSE.
shelby: wait what is even the name of their high school
tZM: OKAY
tZM: I WAS LIKE
tZM:: "IT'S ALTERNIA HIGH SCHOOL, OR ALTERNIEARTH HIGH SCHOOL"
tZM: so they can all be called
tZM: "ahsholes"
shelby: FDUIHSFjcnbfhvc
shelby: PERFECTION
tZM: Note karkat's tasteful AHS shirt
shelby: god all their school memorabilia is terrible
shelby: WAIT
shelby: WHAT IS THEIR MASCOT
shelby: WHAT IF THEY'RE THE AHS PIRATES
tZM: I AM FUCKING DYING
shelby: Yeah!!!!!!!! Go ass pir8tes!!!!!!!!!!
tZM: this is so offensive im glubbin descended from pirates and i prefer the term buccaneer-alternian
shelby: kgtp472tfweuhdscj o h my g o d
shelby: BUCCANEER-ALTERNIAN
tZM: feferi is like wow you can be SUCH a DIPS)(IT!
tZM: and noww i havve an abusive best friend
here lies eridan he died aged eight swweeps because his best friend called him a dipshit and wwas racist
shelby: 4uhfsdjhahgahsdga poor long-suffering feferi
tZM: best friends anyway
shelby: oh i drew model UN feferi and karkat
shelby: MJ said that they end up going to Eridan for advice on their plan of global conquest
tZM: LOOK AT THEIR FACES
tZM: YOU KNOW THE OTHER MODEL UN MEMBERS LOOK AT THAT TABLE
tZM: AND THEY GO PALE
shelby: they end up like legalizing slavery
shelby: they go mad with power
tZM: -- legalizing slavery
tZM: -- theocracy, starring them
shelby: they started the year all wanting social reform
tZM: yeah, feferi was all "i want global healthcare and coverage and school funding and hospitals"
tZM: and FR-E-E V-ET S-ERVIC-----ES!
shelby: but nothing ever gets accomplished
tZM: and so they start stripmining for resources
shelby: it all spirals out of control
tZM: and into complicated intrigue
shelby: they make shady deals with terrorist groups in order to FU-EL TH-EIR ARS-ENAL!
tZM: it turns out that the shady deal was set up with another model UN member's country to try to expose their corruption
tZM: by the end of it Feferi and Karkat have a suicide pact if they're "cornered"
shelby: hjkfhsdkds
shelby: they'll never take them alive
tZM: NEVER.
D----EAT)( F1RST!!!!!!!!
shelby: omg this reblog
shelby: "Karkat gives the absolute worst speeches and gets called a fascist at every. single. conference. He likes unilateral action, writes his position papers in all caps, more often than not goes SEVERELY OFF POLICY, and manages to derail conversation at every step. Meanwhile Feferi wheels and deals while Karkat yells at the entire committee, and she’s actually pretty good at it. Too bad she uses her MUN powers for eeeeeevil.
I think what I am trying to say is
KARKAT AND FEFERI SHOULD BE THE DELEGATES FROM DJIBOUTI"
tZM: whoever said that
tZM: i love them
[it turned out it was brainsquish. you're amazing, brainsquish]
shelby: MJ ALSO SAID HER MODEL UN WAS FULL OF PARTIERS
shelby: KARKAT DISAPPROVES SO HARD OF TEEN DRINKING
tZM: IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE DRINKING, IT'S HOW YOU'RE DRINKING.
NO, WAIT. IT'S THAT YOU'RE DRINKING, YOU LOUCHE, LISTLESS PRE-ALCOHOLICS.
shelby: but then he accidentally gets drunk off of wine coolers at disney world
tZM: it's karkat he could get drunk off listerine
tZM: Also I love that apparently Karkat wears nothing but school jackets and hoodies
tZM:and john's hoodie
tZM: i'm like karkat don't you have any clothes
shelby: no he doesn't
shelby: he only wears free tshirts that he got at events
shelby: so half his shirts are like FUN RUN FOR THE CURE
tZM: Team Building Exercise '97
shelby: he has a SAVE THE TATAS shirt
tZM: yes he does
tZM: he doesn't understand what it means
tZM: tatas are probably some kind of stupid bird
shelby: dave is secretly jealous of that shirt
shelby: he's not even TRYING
tZM: http://img2.prosperent.com/images/250x250/rlv.zcache.com/breast_cancer_my_hero_my_sister_42_tshirt-p235251847200906510cnp7_400.jpg
tZM: dave wants this one so badly
shelby: fhgkldfkjdghdjf
shelby: everyone is like oh god when did rose get breast cancer that's terrible
tZM: rose just smacks him every time he wears it
shelby: adkjhajhahahah yes
shelby: so yes, all of karkat's clothes are: school related, have advertisements on them, or are from john's house
tZM: seriously, the amount of clothing he has from john is unbelievable
tZM: john is always stuffing him into sweaters
shelby: he has a shirt from michael bay's transformers movie
tZM: uh yeah he TOTALLY DOES
tZM: http://www.hobbygen.com/images/dc-tee-tf-bumblebee_03.jpg
tZM: AND IT LOOKS LIKE THAT
shelby: shjkfsdhkjhdfhdkjf that is
shelby: the worst shirt i have ever seen
shelby: that is worse than the dragon shirt somehow
tZM: not even eridan would date you wearing that shirt, karkat
shelby: john thinks it's adorable
shelby: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llmlko4juf1qgw5opo1_500.png
shelby: I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS PERSON
shelby: DAVE: MARCHING BAND SEX
tZM: oh my god that is beautiful
tZM: WHO WOULD NOT THROW THEIR PANTIES AT THIS MAN???
shelby: i realized
shelby: the reason he never takes off his shades in this AU... is because he has a really bad tan line from being out on the field all the time
tZM: HE LOOKS LIKE A RACCOON
shelby: NO ONE MUST KNOW
tZM: is there anything funnier than his short shorts
shelby: i think i need to draw that
shelby: he gets the entire drumline to wear them
shelby: on parents weekend
tZM: tiny pink shorts
shelby: yes
tZM: terezi declares his ass "impudent"
shelby: D4T RUMP
tZM: dave's like mr. noir im being sexually harrassed by the brass again
shelby: oh boo hoo
tZM: you dont understand one day ill just marry the first guy who comes along believing he loves me trapped in a miserable shell of a marriage theres two kids sometimes on the bottle he hits me but i cant stay at the shelter more than a night i always go back
tZM: this is what happens if terezi doesnt stop prodding my butt with her sax
shelby: hfsdkjshdf874fehusdj
shelby: jacks just like suck it up i dont give a shit
tZM: H4 H4! TH3 P4TR14RCHY H4S WON 4G41N!
tZM: fuck
tZM: NOW G1V3 M3 SOM3 SUG4R
tZM: marchingstuck dave has hopes and dreams
shelby: he has a future ahead of him
shelby: he's going to do drum corps someday
tZM: cant do that if hes carrying a sac full of troll grubs
shelby: whos gonna pay child support
tZM: Terezi interrupts the next drill to propose marriage
shelby: the entire rehearsal screeches to a halt
tZM: She got Vriska to play something ROM4NT1C
tZM: Vriska's playing Taps
shelby: kjdhfwuFEHSD
shelby: that is the most hilarious mental image
shelby: i'm just imagining a flag being lowered in the distance
tZM: terezi managed to get about ten people in on this
tZM: she doesn't even know what a human marriage proposal entails
tZM: quick what kind of ring did she scavenge
shelby: ring pop
tZM: yes
shelby: cherry flavored
tZM: perfect
shelby: dave's just like
shelby: yes yes a million times yes
tZM: finally our slugs will know their father
tZM: cmon kiss me you fool
tZM: Jack starts writing up his retirement diatribe again.
shelby: karkat definitely makes a powerpoint about this
shelby: "This all makes me wonder who's the principal of this messed-up high school."
tZM: -- Lord English?
-- Lord English?
-- Hussie.
-- Falcor.
-- We'll never know.
-- Problem Sleuth.
-- WQ?
shelby: Jade's Grandpa????
tZM: OH GOD
tZM: HE'D NEVER BE THERE
tZM: HE'S ALWAYS OFF
tZM: DOING "PRINCIPAL STUFF"
tZM: READ: SHOOTING A LION, GETTING BACK IN THE CAR
tZM: THAT OR HE DIED TWENTY YEARS AGO
shelby: YES
tZM: IT'S JUST HIS TAXIDERMIED BODY
shelby: OH GOD
shelby: sdifhu7t9FWEY8SDCUIXJOPKL';
tZM: IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE
shelby: OH
shelby: MY
shelby: GOD
tZM: Best principal AHS ever had
tZM: So basically
shelby: YOU KNOW WHAT, yes
tZM: What I am saying here
tZM: is that AHS is run by Bec
shelby: every time you get sent to the principals office
shelby: it is intense
tZM: there's a fire
tZM: there's hass's shadow
tZM: then there's like, bec staring at you for ten minutes
tZM: you never do what you did again
shelby: it's extremely effective
shelby: who reads the morning announcements
tZM: um
tZM: do american highschools have head boy/head girl
tZM: it's them or the secretary
shelby: we just had like
shelby: a random-ass person
shelby: actually maybe jade would
tZM: jade
tZM: jade and tavros
shelby: uHH, sEMINAR oN sAFE sEX IS TODAY IN THE AUDITORIUM,
shelby: it's mandatory!!!!
shelby: :D
tZM: so i will see you fuckasses there!!
tZM: also if you go there is free kool-aid. :o
shelby: oh shit sign me up harley
tZM: dave! dave strider, everyone!! dave strider wants you guys to keep it real about...
tZM: ... safe sex!
tZM: WHAT ABOUT ABSTINENCE
shelby: it's okay karkat, we all know you want to wait until marriage
tZM: karkat sit down, they're about to put a condom on a banana!!
tZM: THAT BANANA'S A SLUT
shelby: oh my god ahahdhadhaa
shelby: the safe sex seminar was a massive failure :(
tZM: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID. EQUIUS JUST PASSED OUT. THIS IS WHAT THIS "SAFE SEX" HOOFSHIT IS DOING TO OUR COMMUNITY.
shelby: uhfkjsdhsf. wouldn't preventing pregnancy be a moot point for trolls anyways
tZM: yes
shelby: why are they even there
tZM: WHO
tZM: KNOWS.....
tZM: jade points that out
tZM: like
tZM: halfway through
shelby: WHY ARE YOU SO RACIST
tZM: geeeeez!!!!!
tZM: then the nurse launches into The Importance Of Clean Buckets
shelby: shdfkjsdfhsd
shelby: THEY CAN'T TEACH THIS IN SCHOOLS!!
tZM: The last forty seconds are for the carapace students
It's just a projection of an egg with a question mark flashing on it
shelby: we hope that cleared everything up
tZM: all right kids thanks for your time
If you go back to the other log, there are now other pictures.
Also if you are someone who drew pictures and you're okay with them being In The Log, please say so as everything is better illustrated.
WARNING: KARKAT VANTAS MAKES ASSUMPTIVE JUDGEMENTS ON THE SEXUAL HABITS OF BANANAS
tZM: I love how there are like one hundred band members we never refer to, ever
shelby: these kids have been selected as the main characters of the documentary about the life of a marching band
shelby: and no one else matters
tZM: sollux only does reports on his friends anyway
tZM: also I can see the rest of the band being seriously depressed at being in this marching band with all these nutbars
shelby: omg these kids are like
shelby: the social rejects of MARCHING BAND
shelby: which is pretty bad
tZM: that's hard
shelby: OH ALSO MY SISTER POINTED OUT
shelby: that Aradia plays the piano in jazz band and Dave is on the drums
shelby: and they are jazz band bros
tZM: oh my god yes
shelby: gamzee is also in jazz band because he's somehow a savant
shelby: equius totally gets together like a low brass ensemble that plays at every band concert tho
shelby: yes he does, dignifiedly
shelby: unpolluted by the filth of the other sections
tZM: Is Terezi in the jazz band also, or does she devote most of her time to FLARPING and renfaire and marching band
shelby: she wasn't allowed to be in jazz band after she tried out and her "solo" was just her playing random notes over and over again for 15 minutes
tZM: 1 4M BL1ND WH4T MOR3 DO YOU W4NT
shelby: stevie wonder was blind, kid
tZM: my ass doesn't have eyes but it could play a better solo than you just did
shelby: WH4T3V3R 1 DO WH4T 1 W4NT
shelby: oh and nepeta is president of the anime club
tZM: YES SHE IS
tZM: FOREVER
tZM: only I can't think "anime club" without thinking of KC Green's Gunshow
shelby: yes
shelby: I AM THE BIG ANIME FAN
tZM: :33 < I am the big anime fan
tZM: :33 < All hail the big anime fan
shelby: john goes to the anime club one week because he thinks some anime is kind of cool and he's just like... ha ha, um
tZM: um
tZM: ha ha ha
tZM: i thought this was going to be like
tZM: my neighbour totoro?
tZM: and stuff?
tZM: :33 < john you have a purrfectly reasonable choice
:33 < either you watch every episode of death note immewdiately or you leave right now
tZM: John carefully leaves anime club
shelby: oh i just remembered i ... left ... my bag.... in the band room........
tZM: "but your bag is right here"
tZM: "MY SECOND BAG"
shelby: rhegjgwgd
shelby: "ALSO OOPS MY DAD IS CALLING ME I THINK THERE IS... A FAMILY EMERGENCY"
tZM: john runs all the way home
shelby: dude once john turns 16 his dad gets him the COOLEST CAR (like, a blue volvo) but IT IS AWESOME
tZM: he's the first one of them with a car, isn't he
shelby: oh totally
tZM: Rose has a car but never uses it to be passive-aggressive
tZM: She bikes or buses everywhere
shelby: ppftttt yes
shelby: she has a REALLY NICE CAR too
tZM: it's SUPER NICE
tZM: never used, pristine, she washes it passive-aggressively on Saturdays
shelby: oh ROSE.
shelby: wait what is even the name of their high school
tZM: OKAY
tZM: I WAS LIKE
tZM:: "IT'S ALTERNIA HIGH SCHOOL, OR ALTERNIEARTH HIGH SCHOOL"
tZM: so they can all be called
tZM: "ahsholes"
shelby: FDUIHSFjcnbfhvc
shelby: PERFECTION
tZM: Note karkat's tasteful AHS shirt
shelby: god all their school memorabilia is terrible
shelby: WAIT
shelby: WHAT IS THEIR MASCOT
shelby: WHAT IF THEY'RE THE AHS PIRATES
tZM: I AM FUCKING DYING
shelby: Yeah!!!!!!!! Go ass pir8tes!!!!!!!!!!
tZM: this is so offensive im glubbin descended from pirates and i prefer the term buccaneer-alternian
shelby: kgtp472tfweuhdscj o h my g o d
shelby: BUCCANEER-ALTERNIAN
tZM: feferi is like wow you can be SUCH a DIPS)(IT!
tZM: and noww i havve an abusive best friend
here lies eridan he died aged eight swweeps because his best friend called him a dipshit and wwas racist
shelby: 4uhfsdjhahgahsdga poor long-suffering feferi
tZM: best friends anyway
shelby: oh i drew model UN feferi and karkat
shelby: MJ said that they end up going to Eridan for advice on their plan of global conquest
tZM: LOOK AT THEIR FACES
tZM: YOU KNOW THE OTHER MODEL UN MEMBERS LOOK AT THAT TABLE
tZM: AND THEY GO PALE
shelby: they end up like legalizing slavery
shelby: they go mad with power
tZM: -- legalizing slavery
tZM: -- theocracy, starring them
shelby: they started the year all wanting social reform
tZM: yeah, feferi was all "i want global healthcare and coverage and school funding and hospitals"
tZM: and FR-E-E V-ET S-ERVIC-----ES!
shelby: but nothing ever gets accomplished
tZM: and so they start stripmining for resources
shelby: it all spirals out of control
tZM: and into complicated intrigue
shelby: they make shady deals with terrorist groups in order to FU-EL TH-EIR ARS-ENAL!
tZM: it turns out that the shady deal was set up with another model UN member's country to try to expose their corruption
tZM: by the end of it Feferi and Karkat have a suicide pact if they're "cornered"
shelby: hjkfhsdkds
shelby: they'll never take them alive
tZM: NEVER.
D----EAT)( F1RST!!!!!!!!
shelby: omg this reblog
shelby: "Karkat gives the absolute worst speeches and gets called a fascist at every. single. conference. He likes unilateral action, writes his position papers in all caps, more often than not goes SEVERELY OFF POLICY, and manages to derail conversation at every step. Meanwhile Feferi wheels and deals while Karkat yells at the entire committee, and she’s actually pretty good at it. Too bad she uses her MUN powers for eeeeeevil.
I think what I am trying to say is
KARKAT AND FEFERI SHOULD BE THE DELEGATES FROM DJIBOUTI"
tZM: whoever said that
tZM: i love them
[it turned out it was brainsquish. you're amazing, brainsquish]
shelby: MJ ALSO SAID HER MODEL UN WAS FULL OF PARTIERS
shelby: KARKAT DISAPPROVES SO HARD OF TEEN DRINKING
tZM: IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE DRINKING, IT'S HOW YOU'RE DRINKING.
NO, WAIT. IT'S THAT YOU'RE DRINKING, YOU LOUCHE, LISTLESS PRE-ALCOHOLICS.
shelby: but then he accidentally gets drunk off of wine coolers at disney world
tZM: it's karkat he could get drunk off listerine
tZM: Also I love that apparently Karkat wears nothing but school jackets and hoodies
tZM:and john's hoodie
tZM: i'm like karkat don't you have any clothes
shelby: no he doesn't
shelby: he only wears free tshirts that he got at events
shelby: so half his shirts are like FUN RUN FOR THE CURE
tZM: Team Building Exercise '97
shelby: he has a SAVE THE TATAS shirt
tZM: yes he does
tZM: he doesn't understand what it means
tZM: tatas are probably some kind of stupid bird
shelby: dave is secretly jealous of that shirt
shelby: he's not even TRYING
tZM: http://img2.prosperent.com/images/250x250/rlv.zcache.com/breast_cancer_my_hero_my_sister_42_tshirt-p235251847200906510cnp7_400.jpg
tZM: dave wants this one so badly
shelby: fhgkldfkjdghdjf
shelby: everyone is like oh god when did rose get breast cancer that's terrible
tZM: rose just smacks him every time he wears it
shelby: adkjhajhahahah yes
shelby: so yes, all of karkat's clothes are: school related, have advertisements on them, or are from john's house
tZM: seriously, the amount of clothing he has from john is unbelievable
tZM: john is always stuffing him into sweaters
shelby: he has a shirt from michael bay's transformers movie
tZM: uh yeah he TOTALLY DOES
tZM: http://www.hobbygen.com/images/dc-tee-tf-bumblebee_03.jpg
tZM: AND IT LOOKS LIKE THAT
shelby: shjkfsdhkjhdfhdkjf that is
shelby: the worst shirt i have ever seen
shelby: that is worse than the dragon shirt somehow
tZM: not even eridan would date you wearing that shirt, karkat
shelby: john thinks it's adorable
shelby: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llmlko4juf1qgw5opo1_500.png
shelby: I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS PERSON
shelby: DAVE: MARCHING BAND SEX
tZM: oh my god that is beautiful
tZM: WHO WOULD NOT THROW THEIR PANTIES AT THIS MAN???
shelby: i realized
shelby: the reason he never takes off his shades in this AU... is because he has a really bad tan line from being out on the field all the time
tZM: HE LOOKS LIKE A RACCOON
shelby: NO ONE MUST KNOW
tZM: is there anything funnier than his short shorts
shelby: i think i need to draw that
shelby: he gets the entire drumline to wear them
shelby: on parents weekend
tZM: tiny pink shorts
shelby: yes
tZM: terezi declares his ass "impudent"
shelby: D4T RUMP
tZM: dave's like mr. noir im being sexually harrassed by the brass again
shelby: oh boo hoo
tZM: you dont understand one day ill just marry the first guy who comes along believing he loves me trapped in a miserable shell of a marriage theres two kids sometimes on the bottle he hits me but i cant stay at the shelter more than a night i always go back
tZM: this is what happens if terezi doesnt stop prodding my butt with her sax
shelby: hfsdkjshdf874fehusdj
shelby: jacks just like suck it up i dont give a shit
tZM: H4 H4! TH3 P4TR14RCHY H4S WON 4G41N!
tZM: fuck
tZM: NOW G1V3 M3 SOM3 SUG4R
tZM: marchingstuck dave has hopes and dreams
shelby: he has a future ahead of him
shelby: he's going to do drum corps someday
tZM: cant do that if hes carrying a sac full of troll grubs
shelby: whos gonna pay child support
tZM: Terezi interrupts the next drill to propose marriage
shelby: the entire rehearsal screeches to a halt
tZM: She got Vriska to play something ROM4NT1C
tZM: Vriska's playing Taps
shelby: kjdhfwuFEHSD
shelby: that is the most hilarious mental image
shelby: i'm just imagining a flag being lowered in the distance
tZM: terezi managed to get about ten people in on this
tZM: she doesn't even know what a human marriage proposal entails
tZM: quick what kind of ring did she scavenge
shelby: ring pop
tZM: yes
shelby: cherry flavored
tZM: perfect
shelby: dave's just like
shelby: yes yes a million times yes
tZM: finally our slugs will know their father
tZM: cmon kiss me you fool
tZM: Jack starts writing up his retirement diatribe again.
shelby: karkat definitely makes a powerpoint about this
shelby: "This all makes me wonder who's the principal of this messed-up high school."
tZM: -- Lord English?
-- Lord English?
-- Hussie.
-- Falcor.
-- We'll never know.
-- Problem Sleuth.
-- WQ?
shelby: Jade's Grandpa????
tZM: OH GOD
tZM: HE'D NEVER BE THERE
tZM: HE'S ALWAYS OFF
tZM: DOING "PRINCIPAL STUFF"
tZM: READ: SHOOTING A LION, GETTING BACK IN THE CAR
tZM: THAT OR HE DIED TWENTY YEARS AGO
shelby: YES
tZM: IT'S JUST HIS TAXIDERMIED BODY
shelby: OH GOD
shelby: sdifhu7t9FWEY8SDCUIXJOPKL';
tZM: IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE
shelby: OH
shelby: MY
shelby: GOD
tZM: Best principal AHS ever had
tZM: So basically
shelby: YOU KNOW WHAT, yes
tZM: What I am saying here
tZM: is that AHS is run by Bec
shelby: every time you get sent to the principals office
shelby: it is intense
tZM: there's a fire
tZM: there's hass's shadow
tZM: then there's like, bec staring at you for ten minutes
tZM: you never do what you did again
shelby: it's extremely effective
shelby: who reads the morning announcements
tZM: um
tZM: do american highschools have head boy/head girl
tZM: it's them or the secretary
shelby: we just had like
shelby: a random-ass person
shelby: actually maybe jade would
tZM: jade
tZM: jade and tavros
shelby: uHH, sEMINAR oN sAFE sEX IS TODAY IN THE AUDITORIUM,
shelby: it's mandatory!!!!
shelby: :D
tZM: so i will see you fuckasses there!!
tZM: also if you go there is free kool-aid. :o
shelby: oh shit sign me up harley
tZM: dave! dave strider, everyone!! dave strider wants you guys to keep it real about...
tZM: ... safe sex!
tZM: WHAT ABOUT ABSTINENCE
shelby: it's okay karkat, we all know you want to wait until marriage
tZM: karkat sit down, they're about to put a condom on a banana!!
tZM: THAT BANANA'S A SLUT
shelby: oh my god ahahdhadhaa
shelby: the safe sex seminar was a massive failure :(
tZM: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID. EQUIUS JUST PASSED OUT. THIS IS WHAT THIS "SAFE SEX" HOOFSHIT IS DOING TO OUR COMMUNITY.
shelby: uhfkjsdhsf. wouldn't preventing pregnancy be a moot point for trolls anyways
tZM: yes
shelby: why are they even there
tZM: WHO
tZM: KNOWS.....
tZM: jade points that out
tZM: like
tZM: halfway through
shelby: WHY ARE YOU SO RACIST
tZM: geeeeez!!!!!
tZM: then the nurse launches into The Importance Of Clean Buckets
shelby: shdfkjsdfhsd
shelby: THEY CAN'T TEACH THIS IN SCHOOLS!!
tZM: The last forty seconds are for the carapace students
It's just a projection of an egg with a question mark flashing on it
shelby: we hope that cleared everything up
tZM: all right kids thanks for your time