(no subject)
It's funny. For the last two years I have spent thinking that I knew everything. I was that know-it-all teenager that could classify everything. Not only did I have an opinion on every subject and situation, I knew what was right too.
I thought he was cool. The other guy was a player. This guy over here was a freak to stay away from. And he was the one to say "OH MY GOSH! I THINK I'M IN LOVE!" to. And look how well that turned out. I was way off, and totally wrong. I didn't know what I was doing or saying.
Time went by and somehow I found a pretty good guy to commit to. And now that I'm in a relationship (when you think about it, the true meaning of the word seems so mature and profound to me) I realize that there is so much more to learn, and so much more to a relationship. No wonder guys in my past were afraid of me. I wanted to run out and grab a relationship as quick as I could, when I didn't even know what it really consisted of. I don't do well in relationships. But I really, really want to continue with the I have now, because for what it's worth, I like being with him. I hope he has the patience to understand that it will take time for me to learn.
I have that scary, odd sense of awareness. It's a quite cold and shocking. All this time I've spent thinking that I knew what was best for me, who to stay away from, who everyone was, and what I wanted. But the truth of the matter is that all this time I was wrong.
And I'm sorry. You know who you are.
I guess that's what I have to say.
I thought he was cool. The other guy was a player. This guy over here was a freak to stay away from. And he was the one to say "OH MY GOSH! I THINK I'M IN LOVE!" to. And look how well that turned out. I was way off, and totally wrong. I didn't know what I was doing or saying.
Time went by and somehow I found a pretty good guy to commit to. And now that I'm in a relationship (when you think about it, the true meaning of the word seems so mature and profound to me) I realize that there is so much more to learn, and so much more to a relationship. No wonder guys in my past were afraid of me. I wanted to run out and grab a relationship as quick as I could, when I didn't even know what it really consisted of. I don't do well in relationships. But I really, really want to continue with the I have now, because for what it's worth, I like being with him. I hope he has the patience to understand that it will take time for me to learn.
I have that scary, odd sense of awareness. It's a quite cold and shocking. All this time I've spent thinking that I knew what was best for me, who to stay away from, who everyone was, and what I wanted. But the truth of the matter is that all this time I was wrong.
And I'm sorry. You know who you are.
I guess that's what I have to say.