My fears

[uohana]

I had a conversation with my father a few weeks ago and he told me that I had alot of fears and that I was letting them control how I did things. I agreed that this is what I was, and am doing. He told me that you can't conquer your fears if you don't know what they are. So he suggested that I write them down and then write what the solution to

Comments

[brittknee]

Me about a year ago, she'd have the exact same fears. I think this list would've been identical. It takes a lot of self discovery to get over these things and its awesome you're taking steps forward to conquer them! I'd say a big thing is self esteem. I had to learn to please myself before pleasing others!

I will say this, if your philosophy is "I don't care what people think" yet you feel like you need to keep your mouth shut to make people respond positively to you, I think that's deconstructive. Whether or not you get the response you want from your opinions it shouldn't matter. You should be yourself and respond in ways YOU feel constructive whether or not the person takes it to heart or not.

I may not always put into play the advice you give me, but it's always welcomed and always thought about. If I kept getting positive advice my whole life I'd be living in an absolute fantasy world. I appreciate and respect CONSTRUCTIVE criticism (being an artist, this is crucial in improving your work). Maybe if people were responding negatively to your advice before, take a step back and think about how that advice was projected? Maybe it came out negatively? Maybe you told people "I TOLD YOU SO" when they're plans went array? Things like that are important before it crosses the line of "constructive advice" to "do this or your screwed" lol.

Either way be happy with yourself and surround yourself with people that love you and no matter what, if they don't call in weeks or months those real friends will ALWAYS come back and ALWAYS be there for you. ♥

[uohana]

I understand what you are saying and I guess I didnt say it right. I don't care much anymore what people think about what I do or say. But to stop from having a fight with someone I will be careful about what I say to them.

When I say positive feedback I don't mean "Yeah you are right! OMG why didn't I think about that. Im gonna do it right now" I mean like when I say something to someone and then find out that Im not getting invited to things because of the certain things I said thats when I consider the feedback negative. Or people not wanting me around for certain things I do or say. I consider that to be negative feedback. If someone asks for my advice I dont care if they take it or not thats their life and they can do what they please. I don't consider it negative when someone doesn't follow my advice. I will say that I do get annoyed when someone comes to me for advice doesn't follow it, shit goes array and then comes back to me asking what they should do and then when I tell them they don't do it and then come back to me telling me about how it went wrong so on and so on. And I have stopped that trend I no longer allow that to happen.

I did take a step back and I realized that I cared too much about what other people do with their own lives. So I did step back I no longer do the same things that I did oh say a year ago.

Thanks for understanding though :D. I dunno if I agree with the real friends will always come back shouldn't they have been there all along? But yeah I agree with the rest of what you said though

[brittknee]

"But to stop from having a fight with someone I will be careful about what I say to them."

Makes sense. Having the ability to read a persons personality is a good trait. Lots of people respond negatively to certain things.

"I will say that I do get annoyed when someone comes to me for advice doesn't follow it, shit goes array and then comes back to me asking what they should do and then when I tell them they don't do it and then come back to me telling me about how it went wrong so on and so on. And I have stopped that trend I no longer allow that to happen."

If that's something that bothers you enough, then I applaud you for stopping. I see how that can get tiring.

"I dunno if I agree with the real friends will always come back shouldn't they have been there all along?"

I guess I also worded that wrong. I guess I'm a believer that a real "friend" is someone who will always be there for you even if you don't hang out with them on a daily basis, talk to them everyday etc. That doesn't necessarily mean they've "left" anywhere, persay. They'll be there to listen and give advice and such no matter where they are in there life. But everyone has there own idea of what a "good friend" is so this is really open to interpretation.

[uohana]

I agree with you there on the friend thing. I don't think that friends need to talk everyday or anything like that. I think that real friends will drop things if their friend is in need. And I do believe that you are a real friend to me :D Sometimes I get sad because we don't talk for long periods of time (3-4 months) and its different from what it used to be lol. But I do consider you still as one of my true friends. Thanks for the insight into a few of my fears