(no subject)
This weekend has been so full of contrast.
Saturday was...perfect? Yes, I dare say perfect. I slept in, and then decided to get ready for Miss Saigon at my house rather than at the dorm. In the burg, I took a shower barefoot, and sang really loudly, and fogged up the mirror. Celia arrived while I was still getting ready--I was so relieved to see her. Cookies are comfort food, and Celia is a comfort friend. And on Saturday, I definitely needed a comfort friend. I hugged for three minutes before I let her escape.
On the way to Louisville, Celia and I rocked out to an interesting array of music. We started out with the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, which kicks ass. I had forgotten to bring my good cds from school, so I dug out my old cds that I'd left at home--stuff like old school hanson and nsync. The Hanson cd didn't last very long--just long enough for celia and I do agree that the youngest hanson brother sounds like Michelle Branch. (At least he did, before he hit puberty. I have no idea how he sounds now.) We dabbled in some nsync before switching to the radio. We turned it up so loud, and sang every song as loud as we could. So there I was, in a skirt from NYC, hot black stilettos, and a pink pashmina scarf my mom brought me from Paris, crooning at the top of my lungs and using a stick of banana laffy taffy as a microphone.
About that time, we passed a Red Bull truck, and--I don't why I did this--I threw the driver two thumbs up. I have never had a RedBull. Ever. But I felt the need to tlet the driver know that he or she (i couldn't see the driver at first) was doing a noble deed by driving this RedBell truck around. The driver was a guy, it turned out. A few seconds after we passed the truck, it sped us and passed US--and there were TWO guys now. The driver had woken up his buddy, and both were waving eagerly at us. So, to impress them, I started headbanging to whatever oldie song was on the radio and continued singing into my laffy taffy. I'm sure they thought it was hot.
Dinner was wonderful, and the show--dear lord. I cried through the ENTIRE thing. Seriously. Started crying about two minutes into the first song, and cried til the end. Actually, I cried for about ten minutes after it was over. I think the fact that I knew the ending made it worse. But, god, it was so sad. SO SAD. And SO WONDERFUL. It's coming to the opera house in lexington--I think i'm going to go see it again. I have all the songs in my head....
The trip home was just as fun as the trip up, with uber loud radio and lots of dancing and laffy taffy mics. There was some definitely good music on the radio last night.
At home, I collapsed and slept til 10:45 this morning. When I got back to school at 12:30, the rush event had already started. It wasn't supposed to start til one, so I'd planend to be back by then, but they moved it to 12:30 last night, and I didn't know since I wasn't here. I attempted to find my group, but when I couldn't, I ran up to my room and sobbed. Not that I care about silly recruitment. I'm probably not oging to pledge at all. It was just one more thing gone wrong. I called mom, crying, and admitted to her that I'm not happy here, it's just like high school and it's ridiculous. I love the classes, and my professors. I'm comfortable in my room. And the food is edible, at least. But my roommate and I have a silent feud and one of my best friends here won't talk to me anymore bc I'm seeing someone else. I want all this petty bullshit to be over. And then everything with my family...I thought it woudn't affect me after I moved out, but I think about it every day. I still have nightmares. Like I said, I'm not happy, but I'm not unhappy either...sigh. sigh. I'm sure the fact that it's almost "that time" is contributing to my emotional state. But while I was on the phone sobbing with mom, my rush leader called my room, wondering where I was...it wasn't too late to meet the group, yet, so I joined in. Recruitment pisses me off and wastes soooo much time.
And on the subject of rushing, I'm going phi mu--if I go at all. If.
Hmwk time. A paper and two tests--plus regular homework. (screams)