Beginnings - JUSTIFIED (10/15)
Title - Beginnings - JUSTIFIED (10/15)
Author - unwritten_ideas
Beta - write_my_dreams
Rating - eventual NC-17, this part PG-13
Word Count - 3,709 (69,000ish total)
Pairing - eventual Gackt x You
Characters - Gackt, You, Chacha, Junji, Chirolyn
Disclaimer - don’t own squat and if I did, I’d be posting this with pictures
Summary - Gackt and You are more than friends, closer than brothers and have a relationship that is hard to define. During the YFC tour, that relationship changes forever. Will it make them or break them?
Jun-ji really sucks at playing cards
Sendai, August 11th
Junji scowled at the cards he held in his hands. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough, that two of spades would suddenly transform into an ace and maybe, just maybe, he’d have a chance at winning back some of the yen he’d lost to Gackt’s ever growing pile of winnings.
But, as Gackt laid down his fourth run of three aces down on the table, Junji was resigned to losing the little yen he had left.
“You’re cheating,” Junji said. “You have to be.”
“That’s a very serious accusation, Junji,” Gackt replied. “Just accept the fact that I’m better than you.”
Chacha placed his own cards, a pair of Kings, on the table and smiled at Gackt. “Or, we should accept the fact that we’re never going to beat a man who used to professionally deal in a casino and knows all of the tricks.”
“Gackt used to deal?” Chirolyn exclaimed. “Why wasn’t I informed of this? I’d never have agreed to play if I’d have known that.”
“You never asked,” Gackt said with an evil smile.
The four of them sat around a table backstage at the Zepp in Sendai. It was the first show in Japan after the success of the European tour, and everyone was in high spirits following a much needed two week rest from live shows. Gackt had, of course, still been insanely busy thanks to a never ending stream of TV appearances, photo shoots and meetings, but the rest of the band had been able to relax in the comfort of their own homes.
As Chirolyn, Junji and Gackt continued to argue about Gackt’s questionable luck with cards, Chacha simply sank back into his seat and watched the proceedings. There was a smile on Gackt’s face and a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there in Europe. It had been present ever since the morning after the Munich concert, the show that saw Gackt fall from the stage, and Chacha had known ever since that morning when Gackt had overslept for the first time in history and had emerged an hour late with You in tow behind him, that things would be getting back to normal.
And they were getting back to normal. It was a slow process, but it was happening. Gackt and You were talking again and although they weren’t quite as relaxed with each other as before, they were both making a concentrated effort to re-establish the friendship they had almost lost. Chacha didn’t know what had happened to facilitate the change, although he suspected it was probably You’s doing, but he was glad it had happened nonetheless. Gackt had a beautiful smile, and Chacha thought it was only right that he smiled as much as possible.
“You’ve marked the cards, haven’t you?” Junji accused, his voice cutting into Chacha’s thoughts.
Gackt chuckled. “They’re your cards, Junji! How could I have marked them?”
“Ah, true,” Junji conceded. He paused for a few moments before jumping to his feet in a wild orange blur. “You’ve been counting cards!”
Gackt smiled. “Maybe.”
“I knew it!” Junji yelled triumphantly. “You’ve been cheating so give me my money back!” I need that to pay my bar tab.
“Counting cards isn’t cheating,” Gackt said with a laugh.
Junji sank back into his chair, head tilted at an angle and stared at Gackt. “Of course it’s cheating! What else could it be?”
“It’s…”
“It’s strategy, right, Gaku?”
It was You who had interrupted him, but Gackt didn’t mind. You had missed the beginnings of the poker game due to making his routine phone call back home and had only entered the room sometime during Junji’s crusade to label Gackt a cheat. He had watched the exchange with amusement and had seen the perfect opportunity to join in. He’d lost enough money to Gackt over the years to know that Gackt never cheated, he merely ‘strategized’.
You had been a little nervous about joining in the conversation. Ever since that night when he’d forced his way into Gackt’s hotel room and bed and had helped Gackt have more sleep than he’d managed in months, their friendship had been slowly getting back on track. They hadn’t seen much of each other during the last two weeks, but had exchanged phone calls and emails daily. Each day the conversation became a little easier and You was grateful that he could finally share a joke with Gackt again.
They were both trying hard to move on from the arguments that had littered the European tour and had nearly broken them, but the wounds were still there, stitched together but not yet healed, and You was very worried that the wrong word here or the wrong action there, could re-open them.
He didn’t want to hurt Gackt like that again.
Gackt nodded in agreement with You’s words. “Yep, strategy. Listen to You-kun, he knows his poker.”
“I know how you play, you mean,” You clarified, “I’ve probably lost enough money to you over the years to buy a house in downtown Shinjuku.”
“And I never cheated you out of a single yen,” Gackt stated triumphantly.
“Are you sure about that?” You asked, smiling when Gackt nodded in agreement. “So, that time I found seven aces stuffed into your jeans pockets you weren’t cheating?”
Gackt laughed. “That was years ago, You-kun! I’d forgotten about that, how can you even remember these things?”
You thought that was a good question. He usually had a terrible memory and would struggle to remember what he’d done the day before yet when it came to Gackt, he could remember poker nights in Kyoto seventeen years ago as clearly as what he’d eaten for lunch an hour ago. “I never forget when you lose.”
“Well, it is a pretty irregular occurrence so I can see why it would stick in your memory,” Gackt said boastfully.
Junji sat back down and stared at the pitiful pile of yen that was in front of him. “Does this mean that I don’t get my money back?”
“You should never bet money that you aren’t willing to lose,” Gackt said sagely. “That’s the first rule of gambling.”
“Really?” You asked. “I thought the first rule was never to gamble with you.”
Gackt laughed. He’d missed so many things about You during their arguments, but he thought that of all of those things, it was this, the easy banter and teasing that existed between them that he had missed the most. “That’s rule number two. Rule number three is that when you do lose, don’t whine about it.”
“I’m not whining,” Junji said in a tone that everyone gathered around the table thought was most definitely a whine, “I just don’t appreciate having my drinks money stolen by a cheat.”
“A cheat and a thief, Gakkun,” Chacha said with a chuckle, “that’s pretty impressive.”
“More things to add to my list of achievements…” Gackt said before blushing slightly, his mind racing back to the last time he’d uttered that phrase, the morning he’d woken to You’s half naked body draped over his. It seemed like a million years ago now.
If You recognised the phrase, he made no outward sign of it. “You should give Junji a chance to win his money back, Gaku.”
Gackt shook his head clear of the feel of You’s soft skin pressed against his chest and looked up at the still standing You. “Why? I won that money fair and square! I don’t need to prove anything or listen to these accusations.”
You smiled. “No, you don’t have to… but how about one more hand? Winner takes all?”
The suggestion, just as You knew it would, peaked Gackt’s interest. “Winner takes all?”
“Yep. Junji puts what little money he has left,” You glanced over at Junji’s pitiful pile of cash. It would barely stretch to two of their hotel’s over-priced drinks, “and gives you the opportunity to win it all. To be the ultimate winner.”
“Ultimate winner,” Gackt repeated, “I like the sound of that.”
“I thought you might,” You said with a smile.
“Do I get a trophy?” Gackt asked. “A title like that deserves a trophy.”
You laughed. He’d missed this so much. It had taken several awkward conversations to get to this point, but he was so happy that he and Gackt could now joke around like this again. “I’ll see what I can do, Gaku.”
“Hey!” Junji exclaimed, “Gakkun needs to win before he can get a trophy. Don’t speak as if that’s a foregone conclusion.” Do I get a trophy?
Chacha patted Junji’s arm in a soothing gesture. The drummer was really getting far too animated over such a small matter. “Junji, dear, with your luck at cards today and Gackt’s winning streak, I think it is a foregone conclusion.”
“I know that Junji sucks at poker,” You stated, ignoring Junji’s howls of protest to continue speaking, “that’s why I think someone should play on Junji’s behalf.”
“A ringer… for poker?” Chirolyn questioned.
Gackt shook his head in amusement and sighed theatrically. “Let me guess…. that ringer would be you, You-kun?”
“If you agree to it…” You said hesitantly.
Back in the days when You had first met Gackt and couldn’t decide if he liked the man or wanted to punch him in the face and Gackt had just wanted to fight everyone, there had been a poker night, every Tuesday at Ren’s place. It was over one of these poker games that You had finally decided that underneath the ‘bite me’ attitude and the harsh words, Gackt was actually a pretty decent guy. After a few sessions of poker and winning enough yen to pay for the rent on his crappy apartment, Gackt had mellowed towards You and their friendship had begun to blossom.
When their friendship had nearly fallen apart in Europe and You was desperately trying to think of how to salvage it, his mind had drifted back to those days and he’d spent hours staring into space and trying to remember how he and Gackt had originally become friends. Those days in Kyoto were a blur of lives, college and hardships, but the nights spent in the company of Gackt were always crystal clear.
They had bonded over poker once before. They could bond over poker again.
Gackt also remembered those days and he saw You’s offer for what it was; a chance for them to get back on track. He’d never loved You more than he did at that moment. “I don’t really care who I beat,” Gackt said with a smile as he pulled out the chair next to him and signalled for You to sit down.
“Good,” You replied. “Junji, are you okay with this?”
Junji looked at his pile of money, two one thousand yen notes and a handful of one hundred yen coins, and then looked at Gackt’s pile of ten thousand yen notes. He had nothing to lose, everything to gain and boy, did his luck suck today. “Sure, You-kun. You have to have better luck than me right?”
For a second You felt a little pang of guilt because here he was, subbing for Junji when You didn’t really care whether he won or lost, but he fixed a smile to his face and grinned at the drummer anyway. “I’ll beat him, don’t worry!”
“You-kun,” Gackt said softly, “you haven’t managed to beat me once in the eighteen years I’ve known you.”
You turned in his chair to face Gackt, his sweet smile showing no signs that he could hear the loud cries of the despairing drummer sat opposite him, and spoke in an equally soft manner. “There’s a first time for everything, Gaku.”
There was something in that smile that hinted that You was no longer speaking of poker, but Gackt couldn’t quite grasp the hidden meaning in You’s words. Instead he smiled and waved away Junji’s protests. “Yes there is… just not today.”
*~*~*~
“You’re down to Junji’s last one hundred yen, You-kun,” Gackt said with a smirk. “What are you going to do?”
You looked around the table. Junji was now seated next to him, his head face down on the table with his eyes tightly screwed shut and his fingers in his ears. You silently thanked him for the vote of confidence. Chacha and Chirolyn were watching with rapt attention, but had remained mostly silent throughout the game. You had the impression that Chacha was watching something other than the card game, most probably the interaction between himself and Gackt, and for the briefest of moments felt suddenly aware of every movement of his body.
Chacha always saw too much.
“Well, I don’t think we’re playing by the normal betting rules of poker anymore are we?” You questioned. He was relieved to see that Gackt agreed. “So, what are you going to allow me to do?”
Everything.
It was a question that Gackt had a million answers for, but Gackt knew that most of his answers were not appropriate for poker. He really needed to stop doing this if he had any hope of re-establishing his friendship with You. You’s question had been a simple and straightforward one just like so many of his statements that night had been yet Gackt’s mind had pounced on them and twisted them into being statements a lover would utter instead of a friend.
Gackt was slowly driving himself insane.
“I don’t think you have many options,” Gackt said, “but I have a suggestion.”
You held his cards, three Kings, the three of diamonds and the five of hearts, tightly in his hands. Gackt sat back in his chair, his long legs leisurely crossed at the ankles, and had his cards face down on the table in front of him. It was a confident and cocky pose that suggested that Gackt had a good hand, but You knew his friend well enough to know that Gackt always resorted to that pose when a poker game became serious.
You took another quick glance at his cards. Three Kings. A decent hand, but easily beaten. “What are your suggestions?”
“I know we’re playing for everything, winner takes all, but I’m not going to hold Junji to that,” Gackt explained. “I’ll give you a choice - you can fold and walk away now with half of Junji’s original stake at the start of the game a few hours ago, or we can reveal our cards and the winner will take all.”
Junji lifted his head from the table and scrutinised the pile of money that lay in the middle, his brain quickly trying to remember how much he started with and how much half of that stake would be. It would be enough, he thought. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Chacha.
“Sssh, Junji. You asked You-kun to play this hand so it’s his decision,” Chacha said sternly.
Chacha was intrigued by Gackt’s offer. It was unlike Gackt to offer an opponent an escape route when he was so close to victory so either he had a really bad hand of cards, unlikely as Gackt never had bad hands, or this was a new strategy. Not a strategy for the card game, but a strategy for the friendship game Gackt and You were trapped inside. Chacha couldn’t quite figure out what Gackt was trying to achieve and he just hoped that Gackt didn’t make things worse again, especially not after the easy banter and smiles that had been exchanged in the game up until this point.
You also didn’t know what to make of Gackt’s offer. Gackt’s usual method when playing games was to trap, wound and then annihilate his opponent. He was like a shark that smelled blood and moved in for the kill as soon as an opening presented itself. Was this a game? Was Gackt trying to play him and trick him into making a wrong move?
You stared into Gackt’s contact covered eyes and for a fleeting second he saw an openness and honesty that competition usually stole away. Gackt was still trying, You realised. He was still putting their friendship before the game and his incessant need to win and conquer everything placed in front of him, yet another way that Gackt could prove his worth to a father who had never really thought that Gackt was worth anything at all.
“It’s quite simple really,” Gackt explained. “If you think your hand is better than mine, then let’s play. If you think mine is better then walk away.”
Three Kings. That beat so many hands but lost to so many more. You had won high stake poker games with worse hands before, but when the opponent was Gackt, a man who seemed to be a magnet for aces and the kind of hands that would win any game at any time, it didn’t seem enough. He could sense Junji fidgeting in the chair opposite him and knew that he had another decision to make.
Should he play the game for Junji or should he play the game for himself?
Junji would no doubt want him to walk away. The drummer was notoriously careful with his money, and You was at a loss to explain how he had been convinced to take part in a poker game that involved a large pile of ten thousand yen notes. Although, You thought, maybe it wasn’t that hard to explain when Gackt was seated at the head of the table. Gackt was the man, after all, who had acquired his first full drum kit with a well timed royal flush.
But You… his goal wasn’t to win any money, it was to win Gackt. Or his friendship at least. Folding now was the sensible option, but continuing to play, regardless of winning or losing, would undoubtedly please Gackt more.
“Can I ask you a question?” You asked.
Gackt smiled. “Sure.”
“Do you promise to answer truthfully?”
“I’m not going to tell you what my cards are, You-kun,” Gackt laughed.
You echoed the laugh. “I’m not going to ask that and I wouldn’t believe you anyway. No, it’s just one simple question about the game.”
Gackt tilted his head to one side and surveyed his friend. You was smiling carelessly, a stark contrast to the stressed Junji seated opposite him who looked like he was ready to cry at any moment, and his soft brown eyes were focused on Gackt’s fake blue ones. There was something new in You’s stare, something that hadn’t been there when they’d started the game and something Gackt hadn’t seen in You’s eyes before.
“Okay,” Gackt agreed.
“My question is…” You said, pausing for dramatic effect, something he knew Gackt would appreciate, “can I win this hand?”
Chacha couldn’t suppress the quiet chuckle that escaped him. Instead of asking the more sensible question of whether his cards could be better than Gackt’s, You had asked a far sneakier question and Chacha could see that it had momentarily stumped Gackt.
“Yes… I think you can,” Gackt replied quietly.
You picked up the solitary hundred yen coin that sat before him and threw it into the pile of money on the table. “In that case, I chose winner takes all.”
Gackt leaned forward in his seat and everyone else did the same, Junji leaning so far forward he was practically crawling on the table. “It was your decision and your choice so you should show your cards first, You-kun.”
You took a deep breath and lay his cards on the table. “Three Kings.”
Junji squealed. “You’ve bet all of my money on three Kings? I hoped that you had at least a flush!”
“Shut up, Junji,” Chacha snapped. “We haven’t seen Gakkun’s cards yet. Three Kings could win…” and probably will.
Gackt stared at the Kings and then looked up at You. “Three Kings do win. I can’t beat that,” he said. “Congratulations, Junji.”
In the commotion of Junji frantically trying to grab all of the money as Chirolyn teased him by stealing it before he could gather it all together, Gackt’s swift action of slipping his five cards underneath the unused cards that were neatly piled next to him was almost unseen. Junji bounded out of the room muttering about bar tabs and expensive champagne with Chirolyn following him as Chirolyn would follow anyone who mentioned the word champagne. As Gackt and You watched them leave with amused expressions on their faces, Chacha reached across the table and snatched the deck of cards that had Gackt’s hand at the bottom.
Chacha quickly looked at the cards. Two of spades… three of spades… four of spades… five of spades… six of spades… A straight flush. Virtually unbeatable and a hand that annihilated three Kings.
Gackt had allowed You to win.
Chacha hid the cards behind his back. “What was your hand, Gakkun?”
“I had nothing. I guess my luck ran out,” Gackt said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I should go now, I have a few things to take care of before the live. Good game, You-kun.”
You smiled in acknowledgement as Gackt left the room.
“He let you win,” Chacha stated.
You sighed. “I know he did.”
“You knew?”
“That’s why I asked him if I could win the hand instead of whether my cards could be better. As soon as he answered ‘yes’, I knew he was going to let me win,” You explained. “He’s trying really hard to make things right, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is,” Chacha agreed. “He’s still hurting, I think, but he’s decided your friendship is more important. You should remember that, You-kun. He values your friendship above everything else so don’t say or do anything that is likely to break it. Be a hundred percent certain of everything you say to Gackt.”
You looked at Chacha with a puzzled expression on his face. Chacha was hinting at something that You couldn’t understand. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that one day, you’re going to wake up. When you do, don’t fuck it up.”
With that, Chacha placed the cards back onto the table and left the room leaving a very confused You behind.
TBC...
Notes
1) Just in case anybody doesn't know their poker hands, here's a little guide, from the best hand to worst
Royal flush > straight flush (Gackt's hand) > four of a kind > full house > flush > straight > three of a kind (You's hand) > two pair > one pair > high cards
Gackt's hand really was that good!
2) I think we're making progress now
3) Scheduling this story around the tour dates means that there are the occasional time gaps. This is two weeks after the last part in Munich, so unfortunately a lot of the phone calls and emails between Gackt and You that helped to re-establish their friendship have happened "off camera" but I hope it still all flows and makes sense!
4) I don't know who I love more right now, Chacha or Jun-ji.
Previous part - EVER
Next part - JESUS
Author - unwritten_ideas
Beta - write_my_dreams
Rating - eventual NC-17, this part PG-13
Word Count - 3,709 (69,000ish total)
Pairing - eventual Gackt x You
Characters - Gackt, You, Chacha, Junji, Chirolyn
Disclaimer - don’t own squat and if I did, I’d be posting this with pictures
Summary - Gackt and You are more than friends, closer than brothers and have a relationship that is hard to define. During the YFC tour, that relationship changes forever. Will it make them or break them?
Jun-ji really sucks at playing cards
Sendai, August 11th
Junji scowled at the cards he held in his hands. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough, that two of spades would suddenly transform into an ace and maybe, just maybe, he’d have a chance at winning back some of the yen he’d lost to Gackt’s ever growing pile of winnings.
But, as Gackt laid down his fourth run of three aces down on the table, Junji was resigned to losing the little yen he had left.
“You’re cheating,” Junji said. “You have to be.”
“That’s a very serious accusation, Junji,” Gackt replied. “Just accept the fact that I’m better than you.”
Chacha placed his own cards, a pair of Kings, on the table and smiled at Gackt. “Or, we should accept the fact that we’re never going to beat a man who used to professionally deal in a casino and knows all of the tricks.”
“Gackt used to deal?” Chirolyn exclaimed. “Why wasn’t I informed of this? I’d never have agreed to play if I’d have known that.”
“You never asked,” Gackt said with an evil smile.
The four of them sat around a table backstage at the Zepp in Sendai. It was the first show in Japan after the success of the European tour, and everyone was in high spirits following a much needed two week rest from live shows. Gackt had, of course, still been insanely busy thanks to a never ending stream of TV appearances, photo shoots and meetings, but the rest of the band had been able to relax in the comfort of their own homes.
As Chirolyn, Junji and Gackt continued to argue about Gackt’s questionable luck with cards, Chacha simply sank back into his seat and watched the proceedings. There was a smile on Gackt’s face and a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there in Europe. It had been present ever since the morning after the Munich concert, the show that saw Gackt fall from the stage, and Chacha had known ever since that morning when Gackt had overslept for the first time in history and had emerged an hour late with You in tow behind him, that things would be getting back to normal.
And they were getting back to normal. It was a slow process, but it was happening. Gackt and You were talking again and although they weren’t quite as relaxed with each other as before, they were both making a concentrated effort to re-establish the friendship they had almost lost. Chacha didn’t know what had happened to facilitate the change, although he suspected it was probably You’s doing, but he was glad it had happened nonetheless. Gackt had a beautiful smile, and Chacha thought it was only right that he smiled as much as possible.
“You’ve marked the cards, haven’t you?” Junji accused, his voice cutting into Chacha’s thoughts.
Gackt chuckled. “They’re your cards, Junji! How could I have marked them?”
“Ah, true,” Junji conceded. He paused for a few moments before jumping to his feet in a wild orange blur. “You’ve been counting cards!”
Gackt smiled. “Maybe.”
“I knew it!” Junji yelled triumphantly. “You’ve been cheating so give me my money back!” I need that to pay my bar tab.
“Counting cards isn’t cheating,” Gackt said with a laugh.
Junji sank back into his chair, head tilted at an angle and stared at Gackt. “Of course it’s cheating! What else could it be?”
“It’s…”
“It’s strategy, right, Gaku?”
It was You who had interrupted him, but Gackt didn’t mind. You had missed the beginnings of the poker game due to making his routine phone call back home and had only entered the room sometime during Junji’s crusade to label Gackt a cheat. He had watched the exchange with amusement and had seen the perfect opportunity to join in. He’d lost enough money to Gackt over the years to know that Gackt never cheated, he merely ‘strategized’.
You had been a little nervous about joining in the conversation. Ever since that night when he’d forced his way into Gackt’s hotel room and bed and had helped Gackt have more sleep than he’d managed in months, their friendship had been slowly getting back on track. They hadn’t seen much of each other during the last two weeks, but had exchanged phone calls and emails daily. Each day the conversation became a little easier and You was grateful that he could finally share a joke with Gackt again.
They were both trying hard to move on from the arguments that had littered the European tour and had nearly broken them, but the wounds were still there, stitched together but not yet healed, and You was very worried that the wrong word here or the wrong action there, could re-open them.
He didn’t want to hurt Gackt like that again.
Gackt nodded in agreement with You’s words. “Yep, strategy. Listen to You-kun, he knows his poker.”
“I know how you play, you mean,” You clarified, “I’ve probably lost enough money to you over the years to buy a house in downtown Shinjuku.”
“And I never cheated you out of a single yen,” Gackt stated triumphantly.
“Are you sure about that?” You asked, smiling when Gackt nodded in agreement. “So, that time I found seven aces stuffed into your jeans pockets you weren’t cheating?”
Gackt laughed. “That was years ago, You-kun! I’d forgotten about that, how can you even remember these things?”
You thought that was a good question. He usually had a terrible memory and would struggle to remember what he’d done the day before yet when it came to Gackt, he could remember poker nights in Kyoto seventeen years ago as clearly as what he’d eaten for lunch an hour ago. “I never forget when you lose.”
“Well, it is a pretty irregular occurrence so I can see why it would stick in your memory,” Gackt said boastfully.
Junji sat back down and stared at the pitiful pile of yen that was in front of him. “Does this mean that I don’t get my money back?”
“You should never bet money that you aren’t willing to lose,” Gackt said sagely. “That’s the first rule of gambling.”
“Really?” You asked. “I thought the first rule was never to gamble with you.”
Gackt laughed. He’d missed so many things about You during their arguments, but he thought that of all of those things, it was this, the easy banter and teasing that existed between them that he had missed the most. “That’s rule number two. Rule number three is that when you do lose, don’t whine about it.”
“I’m not whining,” Junji said in a tone that everyone gathered around the table thought was most definitely a whine, “I just don’t appreciate having my drinks money stolen by a cheat.”
“A cheat and a thief, Gakkun,” Chacha said with a chuckle, “that’s pretty impressive.”
“More things to add to my list of achievements…” Gackt said before blushing slightly, his mind racing back to the last time he’d uttered that phrase, the morning he’d woken to You’s half naked body draped over his. It seemed like a million years ago now.
If You recognised the phrase, he made no outward sign of it. “You should give Junji a chance to win his money back, Gaku.”
Gackt shook his head clear of the feel of You’s soft skin pressed against his chest and looked up at the still standing You. “Why? I won that money fair and square! I don’t need to prove anything or listen to these accusations.”
You smiled. “No, you don’t have to… but how about one more hand? Winner takes all?”
The suggestion, just as You knew it would, peaked Gackt’s interest. “Winner takes all?”
“Yep. Junji puts what little money he has left,” You glanced over at Junji’s pitiful pile of cash. It would barely stretch to two of their hotel’s over-priced drinks, “and gives you the opportunity to win it all. To be the ultimate winner.”
“Ultimate winner,” Gackt repeated, “I like the sound of that.”
“I thought you might,” You said with a smile.
“Do I get a trophy?” Gackt asked. “A title like that deserves a trophy.”
You laughed. He’d missed this so much. It had taken several awkward conversations to get to this point, but he was so happy that he and Gackt could now joke around like this again. “I’ll see what I can do, Gaku.”
“Hey!” Junji exclaimed, “Gakkun needs to win before he can get a trophy. Don’t speak as if that’s a foregone conclusion.” Do I get a trophy?
Chacha patted Junji’s arm in a soothing gesture. The drummer was really getting far too animated over such a small matter. “Junji, dear, with your luck at cards today and Gackt’s winning streak, I think it is a foregone conclusion.”
“I know that Junji sucks at poker,” You stated, ignoring Junji’s howls of protest to continue speaking, “that’s why I think someone should play on Junji’s behalf.”
“A ringer… for poker?” Chirolyn questioned.
Gackt shook his head in amusement and sighed theatrically. “Let me guess…. that ringer would be you, You-kun?”
“If you agree to it…” You said hesitantly.
Back in the days when You had first met Gackt and couldn’t decide if he liked the man or wanted to punch him in the face and Gackt had just wanted to fight everyone, there had been a poker night, every Tuesday at Ren’s place. It was over one of these poker games that You had finally decided that underneath the ‘bite me’ attitude and the harsh words, Gackt was actually a pretty decent guy. After a few sessions of poker and winning enough yen to pay for the rent on his crappy apartment, Gackt had mellowed towards You and their friendship had begun to blossom.
When their friendship had nearly fallen apart in Europe and You was desperately trying to think of how to salvage it, his mind had drifted back to those days and he’d spent hours staring into space and trying to remember how he and Gackt had originally become friends. Those days in Kyoto were a blur of lives, college and hardships, but the nights spent in the company of Gackt were always crystal clear.
They had bonded over poker once before. They could bond over poker again.
Gackt also remembered those days and he saw You’s offer for what it was; a chance for them to get back on track. He’d never loved You more than he did at that moment. “I don’t really care who I beat,” Gackt said with a smile as he pulled out the chair next to him and signalled for You to sit down.
“Good,” You replied. “Junji, are you okay with this?”
Junji looked at his pile of money, two one thousand yen notes and a handful of one hundred yen coins, and then looked at Gackt’s pile of ten thousand yen notes. He had nothing to lose, everything to gain and boy, did his luck suck today. “Sure, You-kun. You have to have better luck than me right?”
For a second You felt a little pang of guilt because here he was, subbing for Junji when You didn’t really care whether he won or lost, but he fixed a smile to his face and grinned at the drummer anyway. “I’ll beat him, don’t worry!”
“You-kun,” Gackt said softly, “you haven’t managed to beat me once in the eighteen years I’ve known you.”
You turned in his chair to face Gackt, his sweet smile showing no signs that he could hear the loud cries of the despairing drummer sat opposite him, and spoke in an equally soft manner. “There’s a first time for everything, Gaku.”
There was something in that smile that hinted that You was no longer speaking of poker, but Gackt couldn’t quite grasp the hidden meaning in You’s words. Instead he smiled and waved away Junji’s protests. “Yes there is… just not today.”
*~*~*~
“You’re down to Junji’s last one hundred yen, You-kun,” Gackt said with a smirk. “What are you going to do?”
You looked around the table. Junji was now seated next to him, his head face down on the table with his eyes tightly screwed shut and his fingers in his ears. You silently thanked him for the vote of confidence. Chacha and Chirolyn were watching with rapt attention, but had remained mostly silent throughout the game. You had the impression that Chacha was watching something other than the card game, most probably the interaction between himself and Gackt, and for the briefest of moments felt suddenly aware of every movement of his body.
Chacha always saw too much.
“Well, I don’t think we’re playing by the normal betting rules of poker anymore are we?” You questioned. He was relieved to see that Gackt agreed. “So, what are you going to allow me to do?”
Everything.
It was a question that Gackt had a million answers for, but Gackt knew that most of his answers were not appropriate for poker. He really needed to stop doing this if he had any hope of re-establishing his friendship with You. You’s question had been a simple and straightforward one just like so many of his statements that night had been yet Gackt’s mind had pounced on them and twisted them into being statements a lover would utter instead of a friend.
Gackt was slowly driving himself insane.
“I don’t think you have many options,” Gackt said, “but I have a suggestion.”
You held his cards, three Kings, the three of diamonds and the five of hearts, tightly in his hands. Gackt sat back in his chair, his long legs leisurely crossed at the ankles, and had his cards face down on the table in front of him. It was a confident and cocky pose that suggested that Gackt had a good hand, but You knew his friend well enough to know that Gackt always resorted to that pose when a poker game became serious.
You took another quick glance at his cards. Three Kings. A decent hand, but easily beaten. “What are your suggestions?”
“I know we’re playing for everything, winner takes all, but I’m not going to hold Junji to that,” Gackt explained. “I’ll give you a choice - you can fold and walk away now with half of Junji’s original stake at the start of the game a few hours ago, or we can reveal our cards and the winner will take all.”
Junji lifted his head from the table and scrutinised the pile of money that lay in the middle, his brain quickly trying to remember how much he started with and how much half of that stake would be. It would be enough, he thought. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Chacha.
“Sssh, Junji. You asked You-kun to play this hand so it’s his decision,” Chacha said sternly.
Chacha was intrigued by Gackt’s offer. It was unlike Gackt to offer an opponent an escape route when he was so close to victory so either he had a really bad hand of cards, unlikely as Gackt never had bad hands, or this was a new strategy. Not a strategy for the card game, but a strategy for the friendship game Gackt and You were trapped inside. Chacha couldn’t quite figure out what Gackt was trying to achieve and he just hoped that Gackt didn’t make things worse again, especially not after the easy banter and smiles that had been exchanged in the game up until this point.
You also didn’t know what to make of Gackt’s offer. Gackt’s usual method when playing games was to trap, wound and then annihilate his opponent. He was like a shark that smelled blood and moved in for the kill as soon as an opening presented itself. Was this a game? Was Gackt trying to play him and trick him into making a wrong move?
You stared into Gackt’s contact covered eyes and for a fleeting second he saw an openness and honesty that competition usually stole away. Gackt was still trying, You realised. He was still putting their friendship before the game and his incessant need to win and conquer everything placed in front of him, yet another way that Gackt could prove his worth to a father who had never really thought that Gackt was worth anything at all.
“It’s quite simple really,” Gackt explained. “If you think your hand is better than mine, then let’s play. If you think mine is better then walk away.”
Three Kings. That beat so many hands but lost to so many more. You had won high stake poker games with worse hands before, but when the opponent was Gackt, a man who seemed to be a magnet for aces and the kind of hands that would win any game at any time, it didn’t seem enough. He could sense Junji fidgeting in the chair opposite him and knew that he had another decision to make.
Should he play the game for Junji or should he play the game for himself?
Junji would no doubt want him to walk away. The drummer was notoriously careful with his money, and You was at a loss to explain how he had been convinced to take part in a poker game that involved a large pile of ten thousand yen notes. Although, You thought, maybe it wasn’t that hard to explain when Gackt was seated at the head of the table. Gackt was the man, after all, who had acquired his first full drum kit with a well timed royal flush.
But You… his goal wasn’t to win any money, it was to win Gackt. Or his friendship at least. Folding now was the sensible option, but continuing to play, regardless of winning or losing, would undoubtedly please Gackt more.
“Can I ask you a question?” You asked.
Gackt smiled. “Sure.”
“Do you promise to answer truthfully?”
“I’m not going to tell you what my cards are, You-kun,” Gackt laughed.
You echoed the laugh. “I’m not going to ask that and I wouldn’t believe you anyway. No, it’s just one simple question about the game.”
Gackt tilted his head to one side and surveyed his friend. You was smiling carelessly, a stark contrast to the stressed Junji seated opposite him who looked like he was ready to cry at any moment, and his soft brown eyes were focused on Gackt’s fake blue ones. There was something new in You’s stare, something that hadn’t been there when they’d started the game and something Gackt hadn’t seen in You’s eyes before.
“Okay,” Gackt agreed.
“My question is…” You said, pausing for dramatic effect, something he knew Gackt would appreciate, “can I win this hand?”
Chacha couldn’t suppress the quiet chuckle that escaped him. Instead of asking the more sensible question of whether his cards could be better than Gackt’s, You had asked a far sneakier question and Chacha could see that it had momentarily stumped Gackt.
“Yes… I think you can,” Gackt replied quietly.
You picked up the solitary hundred yen coin that sat before him and threw it into the pile of money on the table. “In that case, I chose winner takes all.”
Gackt leaned forward in his seat and everyone else did the same, Junji leaning so far forward he was practically crawling on the table. “It was your decision and your choice so you should show your cards first, You-kun.”
You took a deep breath and lay his cards on the table. “Three Kings.”
Junji squealed. “You’ve bet all of my money on three Kings? I hoped that you had at least a flush!”
“Shut up, Junji,” Chacha snapped. “We haven’t seen Gakkun’s cards yet. Three Kings could win…” and probably will.
Gackt stared at the Kings and then looked up at You. “Three Kings do win. I can’t beat that,” he said. “Congratulations, Junji.”
In the commotion of Junji frantically trying to grab all of the money as Chirolyn teased him by stealing it before he could gather it all together, Gackt’s swift action of slipping his five cards underneath the unused cards that were neatly piled next to him was almost unseen. Junji bounded out of the room muttering about bar tabs and expensive champagne with Chirolyn following him as Chirolyn would follow anyone who mentioned the word champagne. As Gackt and You watched them leave with amused expressions on their faces, Chacha reached across the table and snatched the deck of cards that had Gackt’s hand at the bottom.
Chacha quickly looked at the cards. Two of spades… three of spades… four of spades… five of spades… six of spades… A straight flush. Virtually unbeatable and a hand that annihilated three Kings.
Gackt had allowed You to win.
Chacha hid the cards behind his back. “What was your hand, Gakkun?”
“I had nothing. I guess my luck ran out,” Gackt said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I should go now, I have a few things to take care of before the live. Good game, You-kun.”
You smiled in acknowledgement as Gackt left the room.
“He let you win,” Chacha stated.
You sighed. “I know he did.”
“You knew?”
“That’s why I asked him if I could win the hand instead of whether my cards could be better. As soon as he answered ‘yes’, I knew he was going to let me win,” You explained. “He’s trying really hard to make things right, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is,” Chacha agreed. “He’s still hurting, I think, but he’s decided your friendship is more important. You should remember that, You-kun. He values your friendship above everything else so don’t say or do anything that is likely to break it. Be a hundred percent certain of everything you say to Gackt.”
You looked at Chacha with a puzzled expression on his face. Chacha was hinting at something that You couldn’t understand. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that one day, you’re going to wake up. When you do, don’t fuck it up.”
With that, Chacha placed the cards back onto the table and left the room leaving a very confused You behind.
TBC...
Notes
1) Just in case anybody doesn't know their poker hands, here's a little guide, from the best hand to worst
Royal flush > straight flush (Gackt's hand) > four of a kind > full house > flush > straight > three of a kind (You's hand) > two pair > one pair > high cards
Gackt's hand really was that good!
2) I think we're making progress now
3) Scheduling this story around the tour dates means that there are the occasional time gaps. This is two weeks after the last part in Munich, so unfortunately a lot of the phone calls and emails between Gackt and You that helped to re-establish their friendship have happened "off camera" but I hope it still all flows and makes sense!
4) I don't know who I love more right now, Chacha or Jun-ji.
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