nothing in particular
i'm writing to be writing. have a couple things on my mind.
tara - i don't understand that bitch sometimes. well, the thing is i really do understand her and her motives and i think that's what sets me off about the whole situation. i would never drop a friend for a relationship. that's our biggest difference, besides preference, and sadly it's torn us apart. she feels sad about why she isn't as close to her friends from cp anymore, but it's really her own fault.
josh - been talking to this guy on myspace for awhile now. yeah, say what you want, but you all know it isn't my usual, so for me to write about it in here means i've been thinkin about it. i just want a friend here, maybe something more, you never know, but i at least want to see where it will get me.
it has now been 48 hours since i have smoked. i feel terrible. i hate this feeling. it doesn't hurt at all and i'm not in any pain, but it's so . . . annoying? i don't even really know how to describe what i'm going through, but i really am not enjoying it. the battle isn't over yet, and it probably never will be, but as of now i'm fighting. i refuse to say that i'm quitting . . . i didn't really even make a decision, i just didn't go buy anymore smokes, so i've decided to call it, let's see how long kurtis w/a k can go without. like i said b4, so far it's been 2 days. and it sucks. it's just hard to stop a habit like this. every day for 4 years. i know people have smoked longer than i have and have quit, but still. non-smokers don't realize the severity bc they have nothing to compare it to. everyday. multiple times daily. sometimes 20 times daily. and now nothing. not the highest success rate, i know, but i'm stubborn, and if my cig is going out, i'm not going to watch it run out of tobacco and melt the filter a little. this fucker is going out.
tara - i don't understand that bitch sometimes. well, the thing is i really do understand her and her motives and i think that's what sets me off about the whole situation. i would never drop a friend for a relationship. that's our biggest difference, besides preference, and sadly it's torn us apart. she feels sad about why she isn't as close to her friends from cp anymore, but it's really her own fault.
josh - been talking to this guy on myspace for awhile now. yeah, say what you want, but you all know it isn't my usual, so for me to write about it in here means i've been thinkin about it. i just want a friend here, maybe something more, you never know, but i at least want to see where it will get me.
it has now been 48 hours since i have smoked. i feel terrible. i hate this feeling. it doesn't hurt at all and i'm not in any pain, but it's so . . . annoying? i don't even really know how to describe what i'm going through, but i really am not enjoying it. the battle isn't over yet, and it probably never will be, but as of now i'm fighting. i refuse to say that i'm quitting . . . i didn't really even make a decision, i just didn't go buy anymore smokes, so i've decided to call it, let's see how long kurtis w/a k can go without. like i said b4, so far it's been 2 days. and it sucks. it's just hard to stop a habit like this. every day for 4 years. i know people have smoked longer than i have and have quit, but still. non-smokers don't realize the severity bc they have nothing to compare it to. everyday. multiple times daily. sometimes 20 times daily. and now nothing. not the highest success rate, i know, but i'm stubborn, and if my cig is going out, i'm not going to watch it run out of tobacco and melt the filter a little. this fucker is going out.