(no subject)
dear hamster,
i realize that you and i do not keep the same hours, and that you choose to live in the night, while i live in the day.
i understand that you have a lot of things to attend to in these night time hours, such as seeing how many peanuts (in the shell!) you can stuff in your mouth, getting your exercise on that "silent" wheel (not so silent anymore, IS IT, FATTY?), and dental hygeine.
i give you wooden chew sticks for a reason.
please stop gnawing on the bars of your cage through the entire night. it's like something is chewing through my skull. and don't think i haven't noticed that you only chew on the bars of the door. i'm hip to your game, mister. you're not getting out.
so can it!
or i will put you in a fishbowl.
no bars.
also, no corners.
then where will you poop, you freakishly modest little rodent?
THEN WHERE WILL YOU POOP?
sincerely yours,
the girl who lovingly feeds you, waters you, and gives you stylin' punk hairstyles.
ps - also, please stop hiding out after all of your haircuts. i'm not going to have you running around looking like some kind of unibomber. i'll get you a fucking hat if it means that much to you, geeze. but don't think i don't remember how you scorned the vest-from-a-sock i made for your 6 month birthday.
ungrateful bastard.
i realize that you and i do not keep the same hours, and that you choose to live in the night, while i live in the day.
i understand that you have a lot of things to attend to in these night time hours, such as seeing how many peanuts (in the shell!) you can stuff in your mouth, getting your exercise on that "silent" wheel (not so silent anymore, IS IT, FATTY?), and dental hygeine.
i give you wooden chew sticks for a reason.
please stop gnawing on the bars of your cage through the entire night. it's like something is chewing through my skull. and don't think i haven't noticed that you only chew on the bars of the door. i'm hip to your game, mister. you're not getting out.
so can it!
or i will put you in a fishbowl.
no bars.
also, no corners.
then where will you poop, you freakishly modest little rodent?
THEN WHERE WILL YOU POOP?
sincerely yours,
the girl who lovingly feeds you, waters you, and gives you stylin' punk hairstyles.
ps - also, please stop hiding out after all of your haircuts. i'm not going to have you running around looking like some kind of unibomber. i'll get you a fucking hat if it means that much to you, geeze. but don't think i don't remember how you scorned the vest-from-a-sock i made for your 6 month birthday.
ungrateful bastard.