(no subject)
If Lj has taught me anything it’s that things are only as bad as you interpret them to be. Your own personal spin is all that is needed to take something insignificant and turn it into Battle of the Century, or something horrendous and turn into . . . say . . . a compliment. ;)
Usually I don't post bad things. They make me feel bad to see my post later and remember my anger or hurt feelings. Plus I only like sympathy when I ask for it and not three days later when I get responses and then I feel pitiful and I need to make excuses for what I said. (Plus I always want to remember the good stuff and not let on that anything less than perfect is happening.)
Last night Vang and I were having this dumb discussion that turned in World War III for no reason I can comprehend.
(We were trying to figure out how much money we owed for next semester of preschool with out actually getting up and looking for the paper work. What’s dumb is that we were both coming up with the same answer we were just going about it in different ways, like I was subtracting the last smester payment from the total yearly payment and he was adding all the monthly payments to get one semester full payment. So basically were ticked off at each other for not doing it "my" way.)
But it erupted into this confrontation and I was not tired or crabby and he was so he was way more upset than I was. He seems to be stressed lately and being a boy he can't just say what is wrong he has to complain about everything else.
So I ask him why he is yelling at me about math and he says it’s just proof that he loves the kids more than I do.
Huh?
It wasn't until this morning that I decided I was offended when this was really a badly disguised compliment. He wasn't calling me a bad mother (Spin!)he was complimenting me on my ability to stay calm in a storm and let life blow over me unscathed. What a good example I am for the kids!
He said unless we are having a party I don't run around like crazy getting ready for him to come home.
Spin!
What he meant was the house is usually in the middle of turmoil when party guests arrive and I am usually in pj's still since I was working so hard to get ready for the party so what he really meant was the house looks better than it ever does when guests arrive proving I am a good mother (or else he was complimenting how I look in pajamas!)
He also said he does everything and I sit around doing nothing.
Spin!
What he meant was I make the house work and child rearing look effortless leaving him behind to play catch up and he only wishes he could be more like me.
The final straw was when he said I never have any food ready for him when he gets home from work. Still not understanding what this has to do with my math skills I had to look deeper to comprehend his true meaning.
Spin!
He meant my cooking skills are improving daily and the kids love it so much they finish it all before he even gets a taste of whatever delightful meal I made and he is DISAPPOINTED when he comes home to empty pans and dishes.
I now feel truly bad for taking all the blankets and making him sleep on the floor. Obviously he loves me more than life itself and knocking over the kitchen stools was an effort to remove all barriers between us.
I feel closer to him already.
I wonder how he will interpret my many words of love and adoration tonight when I ream him for forgetting to take out the trash?
Usually I don't post bad things. They make me feel bad to see my post later and remember my anger or hurt feelings. Plus I only like sympathy when I ask for it and not three days later when I get responses and then I feel pitiful and I need to make excuses for what I said. (Plus I always want to remember the good stuff and not let on that anything less than perfect is happening.)
Last night Vang and I were having this dumb discussion that turned in World War III for no reason I can comprehend.
(We were trying to figure out how much money we owed for next semester of preschool with out actually getting up and looking for the paper work. What’s dumb is that we were both coming up with the same answer we were just going about it in different ways, like I was subtracting the last smester payment from the total yearly payment and he was adding all the monthly payments to get one semester full payment. So basically were ticked off at each other for not doing it "my" way.)
But it erupted into this confrontation and I was not tired or crabby and he was so he was way more upset than I was. He seems to be stressed lately and being a boy he can't just say what is wrong he has to complain about everything else.
So I ask him why he is yelling at me about math and he says it’s just proof that he loves the kids more than I do.
Huh?
It wasn't until this morning that I decided I was offended when this was really a badly disguised compliment. He wasn't calling me a bad mother (Spin!)he was complimenting me on my ability to stay calm in a storm and let life blow over me unscathed. What a good example I am for the kids!
He said unless we are having a party I don't run around like crazy getting ready for him to come home.
Spin!
What he meant was the house is usually in the middle of turmoil when party guests arrive and I am usually in pj's still since I was working so hard to get ready for the party so what he really meant was the house looks better than it ever does when guests arrive proving I am a good mother (or else he was complimenting how I look in pajamas!)
He also said he does everything and I sit around doing nothing.
Spin!
What he meant was I make the house work and child rearing look effortless leaving him behind to play catch up and he only wishes he could be more like me.
The final straw was when he said I never have any food ready for him when he gets home from work. Still not understanding what this has to do with my math skills I had to look deeper to comprehend his true meaning.
Spin!
He meant my cooking skills are improving daily and the kids love it so much they finish it all before he even gets a taste of whatever delightful meal I made and he is DISAPPOINTED when he comes home to empty pans and dishes.
I now feel truly bad for taking all the blankets and making him sleep on the floor. Obviously he loves me more than life itself and knocking over the kitchen stools was an effort to remove all barriers between us.
I feel closer to him already.
I wonder how he will interpret my many words of love and adoration tonight when I ream him for forgetting to take out the trash?