Feelings and Stuff
How come I'm attracted to disaster? I don't like to be 'sought after.' It's too easy then. I like it when things just "happen." It's better if it was an accident. It's a cooler story to tell if it wasn't planned or supposed to happen that way. Maybe it's just because I feel like it's going to be worth more if I had to sort of fight for it, and find things out myself.
So why is it that I feel like that, but yet act completely the opposite when I am interested in someone? I act completely open and available, when I should be playing coy and mysterious, like them. I bet I look desperate. Yeah, that's attractive. I should knock that off. But then I look disinterested... and when that happens, he might think 'friends zone' and become disinterested too. Wtf.
And why is it that I'm in a crazy circle jerk of attraction?!!
I like person X. Person X acts lukewarm at most, and slightly hot when drinking, which leads me to always wonder if it's going to turn into more.
Person Y likes me. Person Z likes Y, but also likes person A.
Person A likes Jesus.
And Person Y is clueless to person Z, even though I try very hard to act uninterested and point out how cool person Z is.
Oh, and person B, out of nowhere starts to act interested in me. And Person X totally knows him. Weird.
I hope that things with person X will go okay in the next week or so. I've already laid it out for him. I told him straight out that I liked him. And I asked straight out if I am wasting my time. He never told me a straight answer, but told me to let it be what it is.
What the hell is that? I would think that most boys would appreciate the bluntness of not having to play games. I don't like being the 'once in a while' girl. I hate that he doesn't know what he wants.
Is it the drama? What is it that gets me? I'm concerned...
And this feels so high school. Ugh.
So why is it that I feel like that, but yet act completely the opposite when I am interested in someone? I act completely open and available, when I should be playing coy and mysterious, like them. I bet I look desperate. Yeah, that's attractive. I should knock that off. But then I look disinterested... and when that happens, he might think 'friends zone' and become disinterested too. Wtf.
And why is it that I'm in a crazy circle jerk of attraction?!!
I like person X. Person X acts lukewarm at most, and slightly hot when drinking, which leads me to always wonder if it's going to turn into more.
Person Y likes me. Person Z likes Y, but also likes person A.
Person A likes Jesus.
And Person Y is clueless to person Z, even though I try very hard to act uninterested and point out how cool person Z is.
Oh, and person B, out of nowhere starts to act interested in me. And Person X totally knows him. Weird.
I hope that things with person X will go okay in the next week or so. I've already laid it out for him. I told him straight out that I liked him. And I asked straight out if I am wasting my time. He never told me a straight answer, but told me to let it be what it is.
What the hell is that? I would think that most boys would appreciate the bluntness of not having to play games. I don't like being the 'once in a while' girl. I hate that he doesn't know what he wants.
Is it the drama? What is it that gets me? I'm concerned...
And this feels so high school. Ugh.