-odyssey-
Alright, that does it. I've had it up to here with the glitches in this game! Just yesterday, I sat through a random encounter where the bandit clearly had no concept of turn limitations. After I tried to restart, my hard-earned gold was gone! Admins, you'd better fix the problems with this place right now, or I'll suffocate myself. See, I'm doing it right now.
*holds breath*
...
...
...
Pfa;gdjklghjklh. Okay. So that's how you want to play, huh? Then I have no choice. Up until now, I've been doing this thing solo, but it's evident to me now that a party is in order. I think I'm finally starting to understand the plot of this campaign... An island of kidnapped amnesiacs is living in obvious squalor and despair, until a devilishly handsome young hero arrived to save the day.
That's me.
But he can't do it alone! So from now until the end of the week...
I, Red Mage, will be taking on PARTY MEMBER APPLICANTS!
That's right! Just sign up here, and initial on the dotted line, and there'sreallynoneedtoreadthatfineprint and YOU TOO can be a member of Memento Eden's first and most prestidigidentialtatious adventuring party! Killing monsters, rescuing fair maidens, farming epic mobs for l33t lootz!!!!!11one!!!1! We want YOU! Except Zapp Brannigan.
Of course, you can't just join any old adventuring party willy-nilly. This isn't Chrono Cross, after all. Our crack team of consultants here at Red Mage Incorporated will find a niche in the party that YOU and ONLY YOU can fill! These fantastic one-time-offer-only positions include:
The Hero: The leader of the group with first dibs on all recovered rare equipment, first pick of love interests, and 50% screen time on cutscenes. FILLED- Red Mage The Great
The Lancer: The Hero's cool and handsome foil, typically best friends since childhood. (It's okay, we can fake it.) You don't actually have to have a lance to apply, but it'd be a nice gesture. FILLED- Ledah
The Squishy Wizard/The Smart Guy: A cannon made of glass, your pathetic Defense is buffered by magical power capable of leveling a continent. Applicants must have an INT score of 20 or higher.
The Healer/The Chick: Exactly what the name implies, it's your job to make sure the rest of us don't die. Applicants don't have to be female. At first. I've got +3 in Surgery (Questionable), anyway. FILLED- Flonne
The Ranger: You dish up projectile fury from a safe distance while the rest of us bleed on your behalf. You don't have to use a bow. Japanese applicants may use throwing stars or kunai or, y'know. Whatever you people use. FILLED- Yukimaru
The Gunner- Futuristic projectile weapons from years to come, capable of dealing heavy damage from afar. I completely did not just make this class up for Train! FILLED- Train
The Tank/The Big Guy: Have you ever felt that your role in life was to get beaten up, shanked, and sexually violated so that your friends don't have to? Then this job is for you! Applicants should be manly. Very manly. I'm talking hair on your teeth. FILLED- Beat
The Highly Marketable Mascot: Sure, you're awful in battle. Sure, you serve no purpose to the plot whatsoever. But chances are good that we can slap your face on a lot of merchandise and sell it, so welcome to the team! Applicants must be adorable and preferably non-human. FILLED- Mokona
The Rogue: You steal EVERYTHING. If it has a name, steal it. If it doesn't, give it one, THEN steal it. You may betray the party one (1) time, provided you return later in the game. Why does this one worry me so much? FILLED- Heather
The Tagalong: A small, cute child with abilities that outstrip those of the adults, yet will often be kidnapped by our enemies. Don't worry, nothing bad'll happen. Probably. Applicants must be age 15 or below. FILLED- Nagato
The Sixth Ranger: Or perhaps tenth, in this case. Plotwise, it's your job to be the cool, enigmatic loner. Battle-wise, you serve to supplement our sad, pathetic underleveled party with some late-game badass. But I'm impatient, so you can join right away! FILLED- Panda
Other: For whatever reason, you decided to take levels in a class that I didn't list above. This is because you are an idiot. Examples include Beastmasters, Bards, Green Mages, or god forbid, Onion Knights. You know what, no. Scratch that last one. If you show up to this interview with an onion, I'll cut you. Beastmaster position filled- Kuzco!
Come see me if you're interested! And I know you are.
Right?
Hello?
[[OOC: Mods, deduct $50 dollars from The Bard's robbery, and a further $20 for the carpentry supplies necessary to build his fancy official-like interviewing... shack. Thing. Be noted that joining RM's party will cause him to never leave you alone, ever. Applicants can just comment to this entry.]]