-coleco-
[private, hackable, filtered away from Lina]
Wow! A real date with a real girl. Even if she says it isn't a date, and is in fact only going with me because she couldn't get anyone else. It's high school all over again. I think.
Alright, alright, compose yourself, RM. You don't exactly have the best Charisma score in the world. Throw a yoke over that fractactical genius and put it to good use. These "girls" are a strange and savage people; their ways are inscrutable. Let's see now...
Bathing! Hygiene is probably going to be important here. You can't show up to this thing smelling like the crisp bear urethra you spent all day harvesting. And... flowers? Maybe? That kind of thing leads down bad roads, though. One day you're giving away flowers, next thing you know you're getting stabbed through the heart by Lance Bass. Some kind of key item, anyway, maybe a sidequest will open something up.
Speaking of which...
[extremely public]
Alright, NPCs. Listen and listen well. I don't like to brag not that that's going to stop me but, well, let's face it: I'm a super genius. My brilliance, which I had foolishly assumed to have some sort of upper if near-impossible limit, has solved all of my problems yet again. While the rest of you while away at your pitiful little "jobs", I, like the proper adventurer I am, will be making some real money.
By doing your jobs.
That's right! For a measly 25 gold- pardon me, hoho, "dollars" -I'll take on whatever sidequests you've got in store. Need me to sub in at work for you for a day? Done. Left your glasses at home and need someone to get them? I'm there. Squirrel infestation in your cellar? I'll bring my killing apron.
My character sh- resume speaks for itself, I feel. All of my stats have been completely optimized for maximum efficiency, I'm loaded with enough equipment to conquer a small planet, and, well, just look at me. I'm adorable! Look at this face. Look at this trustworthy face.
Remember: If It Ain't Red, It Ain't Said. To Be Good. It's Bad, Is What I'm Saying. Note to self: work on the catchphrase. Hmm, how 'bout...
EXCELSIOR!
[[Red Mage speaks the truth! He'll be making $200 a week from random NPC jobs, but PCs can hire him to do pretty damn near anything for $25 bucks. ...But not that. You deviant.]]
Wow! A real date with a real girl. Even if she says it isn't a date, and is in fact only going with me because she couldn't get anyone else. It's high school all over again. I think.
Alright, alright, compose yourself, RM. You don't exactly have the best Charisma score in the world. Throw a yoke over that fractactical genius and put it to good use. These "girls" are a strange and savage people; their ways are inscrutable. Let's see now...
Bathing! Hygiene is probably going to be important here. You can't show up to this thing smelling like the crisp bear urethra you spent all day harvesting. And... flowers? Maybe? That kind of thing leads down bad roads, though. One day you're giving away flowers, next thing you know you're getting stabbed through the heart by Lance Bass. Some kind of key item, anyway, maybe a sidequest will open something up.
Speaking of which...
[extremely public]
Alright, NPCs. Listen and listen well. I don't like to brag not that that's going to stop me but, well, let's face it: I'm a super genius. My brilliance, which I had foolishly assumed to have some sort of upper if near-impossible limit, has solved all of my problems yet again. While the rest of you while away at your pitiful little "jobs", I, like the proper adventurer I am, will be making some real money.
By doing your jobs.
That's right! For a measly 25 gold- pardon me, hoho, "dollars" -I'll take on whatever sidequests you've got in store. Need me to sub in at work for you for a day? Done. Left your glasses at home and need someone to get them? I'm there. Squirrel infestation in your cellar? I'll bring my killing apron.
My character sh- resume speaks for itself, I feel. All of my stats have been completely optimized for maximum efficiency, I'm loaded with enough equipment to conquer a small planet, and, well, just look at me. I'm adorable! Look at this face. Look at this trustworthy face.
Remember: If It Ain't Red, It Ain't Said. To Be Good. It's Bad, Is What I'm Saying. Note to self: work on the catchphrase. Hmm, how 'bout...
EXCELSIOR!
[[Red Mage speaks the truth! He'll be making $200 a week from random NPC jobs, but PCs can hire him to do pretty damn near anything for $25 bucks. ...But not that. You deviant.]]