LJI 10 wk 7: Where I'm from
Katie: An annotated manifesto about being Katie
First things first, let's kick things off with your Banner Belief, the one that must shape all of the others:
Christianity is true. It's also the most beautiful thing you've ever encountered, but it's only beautiful, because it is true.
Everyone is as important as everyone else. There is not one single person who was not made in the image of the living God. There is not one single person who hasn't screwed this up. There is not one single person for whom Jesus was unwilling to die. There is not one single person whom the living God does not want to be in close personal relationship with. You really get this.
It comes across as insensitive sometimes, in political/para-political discussions among your left-leaning friends, because you don't particularly actively prioritise the voices of the marginalised, you just do what you always do, which is endeavour to make space, equal space, for all voices, in every conversation. You know that some people would consider this as part of siding with the oppressor, but honestly, you don't really get that, because you make sure to make space to represent those voices in other conversations, with people who would never have dreamed of considering that perspective, so you don't see the issue.
You don't believe that anybody owes anybody else anything. Yes, including compassion. That the only answer to the question "Why should I care about other people?" is "Because I want to be the sort of person that cares about other people." Nothing at all to do with whether or not they deserve it.
Speaking of which, you accept the logical implication of the above, that says that just because a person has a need, a real, legitimate, need, that need does not by itself obligate anyone else to fulfil it. Again, everyone has the choice of what sort of person do they want to be?
You understand that in a circumstance where a person has been treated badly by another person (or multiple other people), there are only three options: become enraged (including bitter and vengeful), become defeated, or forgive, and that again, it comes down to the question of which sort of person do you want to be? You also understand that forgiveness is the only option that is actually helpful towards moving on from the event. You do not accept the notion that people are "entitled" to their vengeance. They have a straight choice about the matter.
Following on from that, you do appreciate that everyone has a need for their own personal story to be heard, and validated. For someone to affirm that their response is understandable, which you do, whenever you can. You just don't accept that understanding someone's story is the same thing as saying that the person made wise choices.
You believe everyone is responsible for their own feelings. No-one can make another person angry, or any other emotion, for that matter. You believe that people are entitled to their feelings, of course, and also that feelings are important, but, that they can be largely irrelevant when seeking a way to move forward. Yell, scream, cry, punch a pillow, throw things, hug a pillow, journal, break down sobbing, do whatever it takes to work through the feelings in private, but with others, with the person that the issue is with, the issue really isn't who was at fault, but what is the most helpful solution given where you're at.
--
You believe that all of the above applies to you, too. Pride was never your problem, particularly, unless it's the more insidious kind, but, your self esteem has finally come along far enough to believe that you are as good as everyone else.
First things first, let's kick things off with your Banner Belief, the one that must shape all of the others:
Christianity is true. It's also the most beautiful thing you've ever encountered, but it's only beautiful, because it is true.
Everyone is as important as everyone else. There is not one single person who was not made in the image of the living God. There is not one single person who hasn't screwed this up. There is not one single person for whom Jesus was unwilling to die. There is not one single person whom the living God does not want to be in close personal relationship with. You really get this.
It comes across as insensitive sometimes, in political/para-political discussions among your left-leaning friends, because you don't particularly actively prioritise the voices of the marginalised, you just do what you always do, which is endeavour to make space, equal space, for all voices, in every conversation. You know that some people would consider this as part of siding with the oppressor, but honestly, you don't really get that, because you make sure to make space to represent those voices in other conversations, with people who would never have dreamed of considering that perspective, so you don't see the issue.
You don't believe that anybody owes anybody else anything. Yes, including compassion. That the only answer to the question "Why should I care about other people?" is "Because I want to be the sort of person that cares about other people." Nothing at all to do with whether or not they deserve it.
Speaking of which, you accept the logical implication of the above, that says that just because a person has a need, a real, legitimate, need, that need does not by itself obligate anyone else to fulfil it. Again, everyone has the choice of what sort of person do they want to be?
You understand that in a circumstance where a person has been treated badly by another person (or multiple other people), there are only three options: become enraged (including bitter and vengeful), become defeated, or forgive, and that again, it comes down to the question of which sort of person do you want to be? You also understand that forgiveness is the only option that is actually helpful towards moving on from the event. You do not accept the notion that people are "entitled" to their vengeance. They have a straight choice about the matter.
Following on from that, you do appreciate that everyone has a need for their own personal story to be heard, and validated. For someone to affirm that their response is understandable, which you do, whenever you can. You just don't accept that understanding someone's story is the same thing as saying that the person made wise choices.
You believe everyone is responsible for their own feelings. No-one can make another person angry, or any other emotion, for that matter. You believe that people are entitled to their feelings, of course, and also that feelings are important, but, that they can be largely irrelevant when seeking a way to move forward. Yell, scream, cry, punch a pillow, throw things, hug a pillow, journal, break down sobbing, do whatever it takes to work through the feelings in private, but with others, with the person that the issue is with, the issue really isn't who was at fault, but what is the most helpful solution given where you're at.
--
You believe that all of the above applies to you, too. Pride was never your problem, particularly, unless it's the more insidious kind, but, your self esteem has finally come along far enough to believe that you are as good as everyone else.