"I just cant get it right"
Today was a good day... Mostly... I hate doing stuff that I regret, or doing something, and thinking the hole time that I will regret it. I need to find a good book to read. I cant find shit these days.. Hermm... Brain hurts... I guess Im not moving out, I cant take Angelas shit, and the job I had, I dont know what the fuck, becuase Im not even on the schedule. Plus... I think if I leave, thats it, my hole family is gone... And that sucks... I think the best days are when my mom and I are driving home, and we are just talking, and its like... Why cant it just be like this. I hate fighting with ppl. I wish... I wish we could just be... you know... That she really did just... Love me.. Maybe thats it... I dont want to leave, because Im so desperate to just have one person in my family... Be... Family... Is that wierd... Hermmm... I Just Dont KNow. I misssssssss Jjjjjoooee... But when I think about him now, I just think about the good times... Because I dont want to think about him being... dead... I want to think about what he would say if he was here now... And I just am so lost... So lost without him, everyone, or anyone...