Maybe.
Maybe that is all lm good for? A sex toy? Am I really that easy!?!?! GRRRR I hate this... This is such bull shit... I cried tonight, forever... and sober... and not because of Erin, fuck no. Im losing everything, and gaining nothing. I think the only thing I have even remotly gotten this year that was good, was a better friendship with Shannon. You have to love that kid. Everything seems to never stop falling to shit, and Im sick of this. Grrrrarrrrr... Im getting drunk now. That seems to be the only thing to do these days... I need a sober fun day badly... Anyone want to join me? Blah... I dont think I ever been this "fucked up" and not in a drunk way. A mental stait. Grrrr... I cant take my mom anymore. I hid under my desk for a fucking hour from her tonight... *cries* I cant take this shit anymore. Any of it. Losing friendships. Being stabbed in the back, being alone... Screaming... And no release. I dont even see why I dont just accidently fall of a building, seriously...Wait I know why... Because I cant hurt people. Thats all I live for, isnt that sad. Just because I cant hurt people. God I really wish sometimes I could just die... I just so numb... So gone... and no one gets it. Grrr... I cant take this anymore... IminsomuchfuckinggoddamnpainandIcantstopcuttingIcantstopcryingordrinkingorjustthinkingofsuicide. What kind of fucked up thing am I... I just want this shit to go away... And no-one even knows what Im talking about... Grrrrrr... Fuck this... I need some drugs... Or just more to drink, maybe if I drink enough, Ill just go really numb... Gah... I hate the feeling of tears rolling down your face, or blood rolling down your arms.. It seriously sucks.. LKo;ajkwge;jhas;dgjklhaskjdghELOPDMEO!!!!!