Full Explanation
Ok under the cut is the whole of what has happened today. Read at your own risk :P
Right firstly my results. I cannot believe that I couldn't even manage to get a fecking C in English Lit. Actually I know why I didn't. It's because I couldn't do that resit exam of the modern novel from last year. How unbelievably frustrating is that? Especially since I can't actually do anything about it now either. I've got such a good mind to write to that stupid, pathetic woman again and tell her that because they screwed up I now have to do a third college year. They've automatically put my education and career on hold for a year. I am not taking kindly to that fact, not at all. Like I said, I have mixed feelings about not going to Uni now. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret not being able to go this year because like I said, I just don't feel like this is the year for me to go. Next year I know for sure that I will be, but there's something deep down that maybe I've just not wanted to see before, I don't know, but I feel sort of sad that the people I've gone to college with for two years are going to be going to Uni this year or moving on to bigger and better things job wise, and I have to do another year. I guess it could just be due to the fact that I'm not happy with my results that's making me feel like this too but I just hope it wears off soon cos it's really not helping matters :( I tried to ignore Kate when I went in today and I completely went out of my way to ignore her, but when she spotted me she came running over. It was exactly the social situation I did not want to find myself in today because I know how bitter I've felt over her about what she did with my coursework and the huge lack of help I got. Still, I could hardly pretend like I hadn't seen her when she made it a point to make her way through a huge crowd of both teachers and students alike to get to me. I didn't lose my temper with her luckily, but I was very cool with her and she knew I was mad. Why should I have to hide what I feel though when it's been brought on by her? She asked what I got and I told her that it didn't really come as a surprise that I didn't pass any of the English courses I did. I never said 'Because of you!' like I really wanted to and for that I'm happy because I didn't lower myself to her level at any stage of our conversation. I was polite a little more, then I just walked off to Sue. I never though I'd hear myself say it but I think I really will miss not having her. She was such a good help to me today and she almost had me in tears because she said she was so proud of me for what I had achieved because of all my illness and bad health that has affected not just sociology, but all of my courses and to get what I did was amazing. She said I had done really well and I should be proud of myself too. When she said that I had got my A in Religion I was just like thank you so much. You don't realise just how much help someone has given you until you look back and think wow they really was amazing. Then I had Diane Morris who was my tutor hug me, give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me that she was proud of me too, especially considering what had been in my way. So again, near to tears LOL she's leaving at the end of this month sadly. She's taking an early retirement to travel. She's been to Switzerland and now she's getting ready to go to New Zealand and maybe Australia too. I'm the least jealous of someone going to Australia than I've ever been. She's a wonderful, amazing woman who I'm truly glad I met. She deserves all the happiness in the world and I'm glad that she knew that everyone loved her too :)
So that's the whole exam thing done. Now it's onto other people shall we say
Ok let's start with friends. I have absolutely no idea where Vicky was today. I text her yesterday asking if she wanted to go get our results together but I never got a text back so hence why I went to pick my results up alone *rollseyes* Deja Vu from last year! On my way into college I saw Hayley. Remember, the one I had a load of troube with ages ago. Yeah well, she's now lost not one but three friends. My reason is exactly this. I spoke to Vicky about if she'd heard anything from Hayley when we went out the other week and she said no and that she wasn't bothered either because she felt like she was being used because she had started staying with us until her 'other friends' who were with her in her classes came along then she completely abandoned us and I had to agree with her. I have heard nothing from her until today. When I walked in she looked through me like a glass wall. I felt completely and utterly betrayed. It was horrible and so infuriating and I just thought why on earth should I bother? So then I get home and get a text from her asking how I did and saying she got 3As. She just wants to rub it in everyone's faces and that really maddens me. I haven't even bothered texting her back. Then I text Jay who's in Blackpool (which is why he didn't get his results today) telling him about her and Jay, the most forgiving person walking this earth, said that he'd washed his hands of her and if she couldn't make the effort then what was the point. Too right!
Then there was mummy dearest. She was all nicey nicey at first about the results then she went back to just having a go at me etc etc and I have absolutely no idea what she was banging on about so I put my mp3 player on in the car then she shouted that my dad was talking to me, so I took my earphones out then he had a go at me saying he wasn't bothering repeating everything he said when I had 'those things' in my ears. Great.
Just to top things off , I rang the rheumatoid clinic this morning cos the letter came through. Turns out that because it's only a routine appointment, I have to wait 10 weeks for an appointment!!! Anyway it's on Haloween I have it hehe Then my auntie text and said that Bill, her step-father, had been to the doctors and it had been really bad news. Turns out he's got bowl cancer. They don't know how far gone it is so they don't know if they're going to be able to help him :'( which means he's got to go into hospital next week I think.
Then I had to ring up the JobSeekersDirect thing to be passed on four times throughout the afternoon while I kept ringing to be told that I had to go into town to the job centre about benefits and what not, which I did, to then be told it's only the people on the phone who can make an appointment for me or help me find a job....WTF?!!! So all I've done is go round in circles with that and still haven't got anywhere so have to get up as soon as possible tomorrow. Acutally today, to ring yet again and try and get something sorted.
So yes, all in all, not the best of days for sure. Pathetic results, friends who use you, parents who scream at you for goodness knows what, people getting horrid news about their health and idiots who don't know how to do their job properly! Think that about sums my day up! Just to top it off, Sugar Rush is now officially finished again for the second season. Who knows if there's a third cos I still haven't actually got round to reading the book to find out. Will have to ask Jay who has read it and keeps insisting I do too hehe so now I'm listening to Disney Princess songs before going to bed. What a swell few couple of days I'm going to have huh? :/
Right firstly my results. I cannot believe that I couldn't even manage to get a fecking C in English Lit. Actually I know why I didn't. It's because I couldn't do that resit exam of the modern novel from last year. How unbelievably frustrating is that? Especially since I can't actually do anything about it now either. I've got such a good mind to write to that stupid, pathetic woman again and tell her that because they screwed up I now have to do a third college year. They've automatically put my education and career on hold for a year. I am not taking kindly to that fact, not at all. Like I said, I have mixed feelings about not going to Uni now. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret not being able to go this year because like I said, I just don't feel like this is the year for me to go. Next year I know for sure that I will be, but there's something deep down that maybe I've just not wanted to see before, I don't know, but I feel sort of sad that the people I've gone to college with for two years are going to be going to Uni this year or moving on to bigger and better things job wise, and I have to do another year. I guess it could just be due to the fact that I'm not happy with my results that's making me feel like this too but I just hope it wears off soon cos it's really not helping matters :( I tried to ignore Kate when I went in today and I completely went out of my way to ignore her, but when she spotted me she came running over. It was exactly the social situation I did not want to find myself in today because I know how bitter I've felt over her about what she did with my coursework and the huge lack of help I got. Still, I could hardly pretend like I hadn't seen her when she made it a point to make her way through a huge crowd of both teachers and students alike to get to me. I didn't lose my temper with her luckily, but I was very cool with her and she knew I was mad. Why should I have to hide what I feel though when it's been brought on by her? She asked what I got and I told her that it didn't really come as a surprise that I didn't pass any of the English courses I did. I never said 'Because of you!' like I really wanted to and for that I'm happy because I didn't lower myself to her level at any stage of our conversation. I was polite a little more, then I just walked off to Sue. I never though I'd hear myself say it but I think I really will miss not having her. She was such a good help to me today and she almost had me in tears because she said she was so proud of me for what I had achieved because of all my illness and bad health that has affected not just sociology, but all of my courses and to get what I did was amazing. She said I had done really well and I should be proud of myself too. When she said that I had got my A in Religion I was just like thank you so much. You don't realise just how much help someone has given you until you look back and think wow they really was amazing. Then I had Diane Morris who was my tutor hug me, give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me that she was proud of me too, especially considering what had been in my way. So again, near to tears LOL she's leaving at the end of this month sadly. She's taking an early retirement to travel. She's been to Switzerland and now she's getting ready to go to New Zealand and maybe Australia too. I'm the least jealous of someone going to Australia than I've ever been. She's a wonderful, amazing woman who I'm truly glad I met. She deserves all the happiness in the world and I'm glad that she knew that everyone loved her too :)
So that's the whole exam thing done. Now it's onto other people shall we say
Ok let's start with friends. I have absolutely no idea where Vicky was today. I text her yesterday asking if she wanted to go get our results together but I never got a text back so hence why I went to pick my results up alone *rollseyes* Deja Vu from last year! On my way into college I saw Hayley. Remember, the one I had a load of troube with ages ago. Yeah well, she's now lost not one but three friends. My reason is exactly this. I spoke to Vicky about if she'd heard anything from Hayley when we went out the other week and she said no and that she wasn't bothered either because she felt like she was being used because she had started staying with us until her 'other friends' who were with her in her classes came along then she completely abandoned us and I had to agree with her. I have heard nothing from her until today. When I walked in she looked through me like a glass wall. I felt completely and utterly betrayed. It was horrible and so infuriating and I just thought why on earth should I bother? So then I get home and get a text from her asking how I did and saying she got 3As. She just wants to rub it in everyone's faces and that really maddens me. I haven't even bothered texting her back. Then I text Jay who's in Blackpool (which is why he didn't get his results today) telling him about her and Jay, the most forgiving person walking this earth, said that he'd washed his hands of her and if she couldn't make the effort then what was the point. Too right!
Then there was mummy dearest. She was all nicey nicey at first about the results then she went back to just having a go at me etc etc and I have absolutely no idea what she was banging on about so I put my mp3 player on in the car then she shouted that my dad was talking to me, so I took my earphones out then he had a go at me saying he wasn't bothering repeating everything he said when I had 'those things' in my ears. Great.
Just to top things off , I rang the rheumatoid clinic this morning cos the letter came through. Turns out that because it's only a routine appointment, I have to wait 10 weeks for an appointment!!! Anyway it's on Haloween I have it hehe Then my auntie text and said that Bill, her step-father, had been to the doctors and it had been really bad news. Turns out he's got bowl cancer. They don't know how far gone it is so they don't know if they're going to be able to help him :'( which means he's got to go into hospital next week I think.
Then I had to ring up the JobSeekersDirect thing to be passed on four times throughout the afternoon while I kept ringing to be told that I had to go into town to the job centre about benefits and what not, which I did, to then be told it's only the people on the phone who can make an appointment for me or help me find a job....WTF?!!! So all I've done is go round in circles with that and still haven't got anywhere so have to get up as soon as possible tomorrow. Acutally today, to ring yet again and try and get something sorted.
So yes, all in all, not the best of days for sure. Pathetic results, friends who use you, parents who scream at you for goodness knows what, people getting horrid news about their health and idiots who don't know how to do their job properly! Think that about sums my day up! Just to top it off, Sugar Rush is now officially finished again for the second season. Who knows if there's a third cos I still haven't actually got round to reading the book to find out. Will have to ask Jay who has read it and keeps insisting I do too hehe so now I'm listening to Disney Princess songs before going to bed. What a swell few couple of days I'm going to have huh? :/