it hurts
I hate this feeling. I feel like I don't know my best friend at all. I've felt like this before. All through high school, I felt like I knew nothing about B. She is one of the people I hold dear to me and I never knew what was going on with her. Her emotions were her's and she didn't want to share them with anyone else.... which is understandable. but it was hard because i never knew why she was upset or why she didn't want to do something. My situation now is same in so many ways. Soemtimes if he is upset he'll come and talk to me, but for the most part I never know what he's going through. I also don't know him at all. I know some of his friends, but I know he has so many more that I've never even heard of. I'm sure he's lied to me and I hate to thikn that. I don't want him to have to lie to me. It's to the point where I really don't want to ask him questions about what he's doing or what he was up to, because I don't want him to lie about it. I'm not saying that I think that he should tell me everything... I don't know what I think.... i feel so alone out here. i'm not really close to anyone anymore.... I love him, and it hurts to think that he may not care about me... we're going to be living together, but i'm not sure that he really wants to........