RIP Casey Jane 1990-2007
I had to put my baby to sleep last night. 16 years old, diabetic (which was totally under control) and as we found out cancer. It was her time she was telling me and for a week I didn't realize but when I saw her last night (after the count down to her execution) she wouldn't look at me... she just looked away. She was in pain and there was nothing that could help except say goodbye and it was the hardest good bye I have ever had to do. It broke my heart. The whole family came and we all got to say our goodbyes and as the needle went in I held her as close as I could, Nick in turn held me and my mom and my brother stood there too. All of a sudden her body was life less and she was gone. Her tongue came out when she died and my mom pointed it out and it caused a bit of laughter. I put her back on the table and asked the question any pet owner asks "is she gone?" it was a yes and I just kept snuggling her, scratched her chin and the white spot on her chest which she always loved and the tucked in her tail like I always did when we slept together. The one thing I can never forget isn't only the blank stare she gave as I kept kissing her and not wanting to leave the room but was when she did the tilt of the head that morning telling me to scratch her chin. I know she was trying to fight it and be a trooper but there was nothing that could be done and the cancer was eating her alive... if we didn't do it she was given a week to live. I wasn't home the last night she was and I totally regret it. The vet said that for a cat her age she died with a good heart... DAMN right she did. The worst part was she cried out in pain when the fluid was going in her and it broke my heart so bad and made me feel like I was doind the wrong thing... my aunt says it was just Casey saying goodbye.
She will forever be in my mind, heart and soul. In about a week she will be coming home with me... until then I don't know if I can sleep in my house. The one who is going to take it worse it Smokey... he doesn't know what is going on and has been searching my room for her.
Rip my little lady, my fluffernutter, my princess, my peaches. I will reunite with you one day.
My baby knew how to take care of me when I was sick...
