everyone leaves me stranded, forgotten, abandoned, left behind
i'm trying so hard to get past the depression that's kept me down for the past 6 1/2 years of my life. i'm fighting. I took myself off meds, i'm doing the best i can, but that doesn't always mean it's good enough.
things get rough. i need help. i can admit it.
and instead, the people i rely on for this help can't give it when i need it.
i'm just that easy to use. go ahead, take whatever you need from me and pretend to be my friend. i know you really couldn't give two shits.
the problem is, i don't know anymore who cares and who doesn't. i can't tell. people are so fake, so good at lying to me and i buy it every time.
i'm trying to learn to trust. i'm fighting the hardest i ever have. i want to be better.
maybe my philosophy senior year wasn't so far off. maybe i should just keep isolating myself. there's no one to disappoint you, to take from you, or to hurt you when you're already alone. and when the only people you have are the ones who will treat you like that, you might as well be alone anyway.
i don't think i really expect that much from anyone anymore. i used to, and that's why i would get disappointed. but i don't think it's unreasonable to expect real friendship from people who call themselves your friends. if you need someone to talk to on the phone for 10 minutes, even if they have to call back, that's not asking too much.
but you, you're different. don't bother telling me you'll call back. i know you won't. i know you couldn't care less. don't try to tell me otherwise.
i'm so sick of being lied to.
things get rough. i need help. i can admit it.
and instead, the people i rely on for this help can't give it when i need it.
i'm just that easy to use. go ahead, take whatever you need from me and pretend to be my friend. i know you really couldn't give two shits.
the problem is, i don't know anymore who cares and who doesn't. i can't tell. people are so fake, so good at lying to me and i buy it every time.
i'm trying to learn to trust. i'm fighting the hardest i ever have. i want to be better.
maybe my philosophy senior year wasn't so far off. maybe i should just keep isolating myself. there's no one to disappoint you, to take from you, or to hurt you when you're already alone. and when the only people you have are the ones who will treat you like that, you might as well be alone anyway.
i don't think i really expect that much from anyone anymore. i used to, and that's why i would get disappointed. but i don't think it's unreasonable to expect real friendship from people who call themselves your friends. if you need someone to talk to on the phone for 10 minutes, even if they have to call back, that's not asking too much.
but you, you're different. don't bother telling me you'll call back. i know you won't. i know you couldn't care less. don't try to tell me otherwise.
i'm so sick of being lied to.