Lifes So Cruel
Ok so as most of you know yes Victoria and I are cool once again. But its different now its really weird I feel more comfortable around her and I dont feel the need to win her over. I realize that I cant be with her but at the same time its like I get to have all the benefits without crossing the line or worrying about bickering over dumb stuff. So now I am happy like really happy. Theres something about being with her that makes me forget alot of things I would like to forget when I'm by myself but I cant.
On to my problem.... My grandfather might have cancer again. This sucks so bad. He really doesnt deserve this again it almost killed him last time and it was killing me to see him like that. I really dont know what I would do without him. He is my one true inspiration the person who has helped me with all of my drama and gave me advise when I had no one else to turn to. He started feeling better after they gave him medication and on monday he is going to have an MRI to see whether its cancer or not. And all this got me thinking. Cancer runs in my family am I next. I really hope not I dont think I'm as strong as my grandparents. Not to mention I'm nowhere near mentally stable to deal with all of it. Its hard enough for me to not start balling when I think of whats happening to my grandfather if it happened to me I wouldnt be able to leave my room. I dont understand why bad things happen to good people. You could be the nicest and most caring person in the world and the sky will still fall on you I really dont think thats right. I wish it could be me instead of my grandfather I would give anything for GOD to take my life for his but I know thats not how it works. Theres a plan for everyone and hopefully my grandfathers plan includes more time thats all I want more time for him. I LOVE MY GRANDFATHER WITH ALL MY HEART and I hope he pulls thru.
On to my problem.... My grandfather might have cancer again. This sucks so bad. He really doesnt deserve this again it almost killed him last time and it was killing me to see him like that. I really dont know what I would do without him. He is my one true inspiration the person who has helped me with all of my drama and gave me advise when I had no one else to turn to. He started feeling better after they gave him medication and on monday he is going to have an MRI to see whether its cancer or not. And all this got me thinking. Cancer runs in my family am I next. I really hope not I dont think I'm as strong as my grandparents. Not to mention I'm nowhere near mentally stable to deal with all of it. Its hard enough for me to not start balling when I think of whats happening to my grandfather if it happened to me I wouldnt be able to leave my room. I dont understand why bad things happen to good people. You could be the nicest and most caring person in the world and the sky will still fall on you I really dont think thats right. I wish it could be me instead of my grandfather I would give anything for GOD to take my life for his but I know thats not how it works. Theres a plan for everyone and hopefully my grandfathers plan includes more time thats all I want more time for him. I LOVE MY GRANDFATHER WITH ALL MY HEART and I hope he pulls thru.