We walk around pretending we're all grown up
I definitely had me some Houston adventures this weekend. Aside from Sugarland, there is not an area I did not at least pass on the freeway somewhere- probably in part because on my way from mine own old suburbia land I found myself somehow magically going the wrong way on 59. I know I got into the correct lanes and followed all of the little signs, but lo and behold: I was suddenly going south instead of north and wondering where all the shiny lights for the strip club sign came from.
Next to self-injury I'd say getting lost is another sweet talent of mine. I either follow directions perfectly to the letter or end up making a thousand u-turns because I am an idiotface. (I should probably stop calling myself such things. I think it hampers my productivity.)
My H-town itinerary was a little ridiculous. I drove in Saturday morning to attend Nicole's baby shower for little Cadence Nevaeh* WhateverFianceMan'sLastNameIs (and uh, good thing I woke up early because I thought it started at 3pm when really it ended at 3pm. . .idiotface) in the Tomball area. I came bearing red velvet cupcakes Christine and I made Friday night, complete with toppers of icing hearts and baby-themed candles. (TEAM MOM!) We played silly baby shower games like "how many words can you spell out of the baby's full name" and "cut this yellow tape to guess how big around Nicole's belly is".
When that second one was announced, my first thought was to just measure around my bust and I bet that it was the same size. Then I thought maybe I shouldn't do that because it was a little weird and Nicole's grandmother was there and all. So I just randomly guessed and was way off- but when Nicole cut my piece of tape to show how many extra inches I had (the person who was closest with the fewest extra inches won a bottle of sparkly pink nail polish) I measured around my bust just to see. . .and it was exactly the same. My bust-line is equal to the belly of a woman 8 months pregnant.
Fuck.
So I tried to forget that and met up with Craigers in a Starbucks parking lot (we collectively added class to suburbia land throughout our last two years of high school) and we sat in my car eating leftover cupcakes and then journeyed to the Chili's bar for a beer.
My navigational skills were then tested journeying to the SoMoToHo** for a brief stop before meeting various old sailing friends who live in Houston for dinner. This included going back to Elizabetsy's townhouse to frolick briefly with the labradoodles. And then is when I met my dream man.
Meet StanleyBear.
He put his dear shaggy limbs around me on the couch, and gave me his paw to hold. I knew then we would wed. If Christine decides to hog His Chubbyness for Valentine's Day, at least I will have Stanley in our long-distance love. EMERGENCY WEDDING CHRISTINE- BREAK OUT THE EMERGENCY BRIDESMAID DRESS!!
Later that night I found myself drinking small amounts of Jameson over large amounts of ice at a dive bar I did not feel nearly hip enough to be inside of. They should have told me I wasn't allowed in until I went and got myself more tattoos and oddly placed piercings. Then I would have come back with glittery temporary unicorn tattoos or something. I'm not sure if that's cool enough or the equivalent to admitting that I used to party in a Motel 6 off of 290 when I was in high school.
I did run into a friend from high school at this hip dive bar, and I think Jpatt managed to terrify him by consistently talking about babies for ten minutes straight. Berto says you are awesome anyway, Jpatt.
Sunday the Patt of J and I ventured to a fanciful store called Intimacy which ended up being a magical land for me where I found bras and a swimsuit that actually fit my frame. Aaaand it turns out that I was correct in my measurements- 32H. Awesome. Sarah with an H, in more ways than one.
After experiencing Disco!Kroger to make ourselves a meal that did not involve leftover red velvet cupcakes, I then met Rebecca for dinner a mere three hours later. With a nap in-between bouts of eating. Mmmm. Food. Mmmm. Rebecca. Mmmm naps.
Today I basically had a scenic tour of Houston, driving from the SoMoToHo to Crazy Aunt Alida's house so we could go to Chili's for lunch (Chili's=suburbia land) at 11am because her dental appointment was at 2pm and apparently you need a good extra two hour cushion in there? We used an hour of it to look at pictures of cats and labradoodles on Gregg the iPhone. Then I drove to my old land of Cypress to give Michael back various items he left at my house on the New Year.
So after 1pm I finally headed back to the Austin area, and tried really hard not to fall asleep at the wheel. This involved doing "desk yoga" at stoplights and singing loudly in a way that probably brought joy to the Bailey's-soaked heart of Lord Old Gregg.
Finally I sit here, returned to my hobbit house and typing away to you fine folk rather than doing any productive work and contemplating my calendar for the coming months- I am going to be a damn busy lady: this weekend traveling to South Padre to avoid Valentine's Chocolate Day in the city of Austin and next weekend the Bonster comes from the faraway land of Shreveport to drink away her birthday. The first weekend of March I am possibly flying to DC to visit Uncle Ted (which will be horribly depressing), the next weekend is Rebecca's bridal shower in Houston and the start of spring break (during which I will hopefully be feverishly working on my thesis) and the next week I am going on a cruise with La Familia. After that I don't know or care because honestly I have enough to worry about in the near future.
Love from a Sarah
*Please observe: this is "Heaven" spelled backwards. Also apparently it is really really popular. Lord Old Gregg help us.
**SoMoToHo is the premiere faculty residence at the University of Guantanamontrose
Next to self-injury I'd say getting lost is another sweet talent of mine. I either follow directions perfectly to the letter or end up making a thousand u-turns because I am an idiotface. (I should probably stop calling myself such things. I think it hampers my productivity.)
My H-town itinerary was a little ridiculous. I drove in Saturday morning to attend Nicole's baby shower for little Cadence Nevaeh* WhateverFianceMan'sLastNameIs (and uh, good thing I woke up early because I thought it started at 3pm when really it ended at 3pm. . .idiotface) in the Tomball area. I came bearing red velvet cupcakes Christine and I made Friday night, complete with toppers of icing hearts and baby-themed candles. (TEAM MOM!) We played silly baby shower games like "how many words can you spell out of the baby's full name" and "cut this yellow tape to guess how big around Nicole's belly is".
When that second one was announced, my first thought was to just measure around my bust and I bet that it was the same size. Then I thought maybe I shouldn't do that because it was a little weird and Nicole's grandmother was there and all. So I just randomly guessed and was way off- but when Nicole cut my piece of tape to show how many extra inches I had (the person who was closest with the fewest extra inches won a bottle of sparkly pink nail polish) I measured around my bust just to see. . .and it was exactly the same. My bust-line is equal to the belly of a woman 8 months pregnant.
Fuck.
So I tried to forget that and met up with Craigers in a Starbucks parking lot (we collectively added class to suburbia land throughout our last two years of high school) and we sat in my car eating leftover cupcakes and then journeyed to the Chili's bar for a beer.
My navigational skills were then tested journeying to the SoMoToHo** for a brief stop before meeting various old sailing friends who live in Houston for dinner. This included going back to Elizabetsy's townhouse to frolick briefly with the labradoodles. And then is when I met my dream man.
Meet StanleyBear.
He put his dear shaggy limbs around me on the couch, and gave me his paw to hold. I knew then we would wed. If Christine decides to hog His Chubbyness for Valentine's Day, at least I will have Stanley in our long-distance love. EMERGENCY WEDDING CHRISTINE- BREAK OUT THE EMERGENCY BRIDESMAID DRESS!!
Later that night I found myself drinking small amounts of Jameson over large amounts of ice at a dive bar I did not feel nearly hip enough to be inside of. They should have told me I wasn't allowed in until I went and got myself more tattoos and oddly placed piercings. Then I would have come back with glittery temporary unicorn tattoos or something. I'm not sure if that's cool enough or the equivalent to admitting that I used to party in a Motel 6 off of 290 when I was in high school.
I did run into a friend from high school at this hip dive bar, and I think Jpatt managed to terrify him by consistently talking about babies for ten minutes straight. Berto says you are awesome anyway, Jpatt.
Sunday the Patt of J and I ventured to a fanciful store called Intimacy which ended up being a magical land for me where I found bras and a swimsuit that actually fit my frame. Aaaand it turns out that I was correct in my measurements- 32H. Awesome. Sarah with an H, in more ways than one.
After experiencing Disco!Kroger to make ourselves a meal that did not involve leftover red velvet cupcakes, I then met Rebecca for dinner a mere three hours later. With a nap in-between bouts of eating. Mmmm. Food. Mmmm. Rebecca. Mmmm naps.
Today I basically had a scenic tour of Houston, driving from the SoMoToHo to Crazy Aunt Alida's house so we could go to Chili's for lunch (Chili's=suburbia land) at 11am because her dental appointment was at 2pm and apparently you need a good extra two hour cushion in there? We used an hour of it to look at pictures of cats and labradoodles on Gregg the iPhone. Then I drove to my old land of Cypress to give Michael back various items he left at my house on the New Year.
So after 1pm I finally headed back to the Austin area, and tried really hard not to fall asleep at the wheel. This involved doing "desk yoga" at stoplights and singing loudly in a way that probably brought joy to the Bailey's-soaked heart of Lord Old Gregg.
Finally I sit here, returned to my hobbit house and typing away to you fine folk rather than doing any productive work and contemplating my calendar for the coming months- I am going to be a damn busy lady: this weekend traveling to South Padre to avoid Valentine's Chocolate Day in the city of Austin and next weekend the Bonster comes from the faraway land of Shreveport to drink away her birthday. The first weekend of March I am possibly flying to DC to visit Uncle Ted (which will be horribly depressing), the next weekend is Rebecca's bridal shower in Houston and the start of spring break (during which I will hopefully be feverishly working on my thesis) and the next week I am going on a cruise with La Familia. After that I don't know or care because honestly I have enough to worry about in the near future.
Love from a Sarah
*Please observe: this is "Heaven" spelled backwards. Also apparently it is really really popular. Lord Old Gregg help us.
**SoMoToHo is the premiere faculty residence at the University of Guantanamontrose