Two in one day?! =gasp= He does live.
And breath.
Time to confess a few things I guess, my life is kinda on the edge of whatever gapping maw awaits me this time around. Been feeling lots of choices working themselve through the muck, and some are actually good this time around. Felt like a burden on people alot, and Ive been reassured Im not, but still kinda feel it regardless.
I woken up time and time and time again wishing that all of this stuff right now were merely one of the dreams that I experienced that night when Lauren, me and Ryan, along with other friends, rolled. Where the weight was lifted for a brief moment and I felt good and normal, and loved. *coughs* Not by Ryan persay =P.
I want it to be all a dream so badly and yet I know it isnt, and its time to wake up.
My mom's blood pressure went through the roof recently caused her to have an ER visit, my dad's condition is fluctuating, gets semi good then hits the shitter again. A few friend's lives have fallen apart and Ive been there to help em try and regroup and rebuild, my own life is just a desolate place of broken visions and feelings. Over dramatic and moody much? Heh all the fucking time. But theres a little place in myself that I go to, and it brings me comfort.
Its a dark little corner of my mind, where all of my friends *dead and alive* still are, and their memories help me. Emma, my friend Jeremy, Jeni, my brother, Lauren, Bri, Heather, the list goes on a bit longer. Seeing as how most of my friends are girls, Im not too bothered that guys seem to hate me. lol But thats a moot point, and I digress.
Im sorry, if I hurt anyone, and I know Ill live through this to find another devestation in my life, prolly coming up here pretty soon with my mom and dad's conditions.
ARENT I JUST A BUCKET OF SUNSHINE!! -=gags=-
Bri knows this a a cpl of other people know this as well. I really really gave thought to swallowing the bottle of allieve on my nightstand a few weeks ago. Was brought on by the feeling of being a burden. One of those thoughts thats so intense it feels like youve done it already and youre not even aware of it.
Eh no one reads this anymore, and people rarely wanna know what my life is like anymore. Everyone's too caught up in their own and asking me for advice to notice I spose. No matter.
Im not as dark as this journal makes me seem though. My life isnt as bad as it could be, keep in mind I didnt mention anything good, mainly because this stuff took priority this time.
-=demon=- out
Time to confess a few things I guess, my life is kinda on the edge of whatever gapping maw awaits me this time around. Been feeling lots of choices working themselve through the muck, and some are actually good this time around. Felt like a burden on people alot, and Ive been reassured Im not, but still kinda feel it regardless.
I woken up time and time and time again wishing that all of this stuff right now were merely one of the dreams that I experienced that night when Lauren, me and Ryan, along with other friends, rolled. Where the weight was lifted for a brief moment and I felt good and normal, and loved. *coughs* Not by Ryan persay =P.
I want it to be all a dream so badly and yet I know it isnt, and its time to wake up.
My mom's blood pressure went through the roof recently caused her to have an ER visit, my dad's condition is fluctuating, gets semi good then hits the shitter again. A few friend's lives have fallen apart and Ive been there to help em try and regroup and rebuild, my own life is just a desolate place of broken visions and feelings. Over dramatic and moody much? Heh all the fucking time. But theres a little place in myself that I go to, and it brings me comfort.
Its a dark little corner of my mind, where all of my friends *dead and alive* still are, and their memories help me. Emma, my friend Jeremy, Jeni, my brother, Lauren, Bri, Heather, the list goes on a bit longer. Seeing as how most of my friends are girls, Im not too bothered that guys seem to hate me. lol But thats a moot point, and I digress.
Im sorry, if I hurt anyone, and I know Ill live through this to find another devestation in my life, prolly coming up here pretty soon with my mom and dad's conditions.
ARENT I JUST A BUCKET OF SUNSHINE!! -=gags=-
Bri knows this a a cpl of other people know this as well. I really really gave thought to swallowing the bottle of allieve on my nightstand a few weeks ago. Was brought on by the feeling of being a burden. One of those thoughts thats so intense it feels like youve done it already and youre not even aware of it.
Eh no one reads this anymore, and people rarely wanna know what my life is like anymore. Everyone's too caught up in their own and asking me for advice to notice I spose. No matter.
Im not as dark as this journal makes me seem though. My life isnt as bad as it could be, keep in mind I didnt mention anything good, mainly because this stuff took priority this time.
-=demon=- out