Report 5
November 4, 2005
Well, today nothing noteable at all happened, really. Same 'ol, same 'ol. Except for one thing, and that will be the only thing I talk about in today's journal. In yesterday's entry, I talked about how Greg said he was going away for food, and never came back. Well, this morning he IM's me, and says he's sorry if he mislead me or whatever. It was early, I was grumpy, so I was kind of a bitch to him. I don't really care; it really bothers me when he pulls that crap. We talk about it after I get off of work. I explain to him that it irritates me because I am 1.) Friendless, I envy the fact that he gets to go out and be with his freinds whenever he effin' feels like it, and the fact that I'm choiceless in the matter, because even if I wanted to go out with freinds, I have none local, my only freinds are the furries. 2.) I want his attention. I've grown very attatched to him, and so he's become something that I like to recieve attention from. It bothers me when he's gone, and I can't take my mind off of the fact that he isn't there. 3.) boredom. I admit, he seems to be my main source of entertainment. When he's not around, I go out of my mind trying to, unsuccessfully in most cases, occupy myself. 4.) Finally, I feel very left out. It might not be true, but it always feels like he's having more fun with, or would rather be around, his freinds, especially Chris. I wouldn't doubt that he has more fun with him.. They share more in common than I do. To top it all off, today he was here, but paid very little attention to me, besides trying to explain to me and appologize to me for the way he acted this morning, because his friends were over. Right now his away message says "I'm asleep." I highly doubt he'd ever go to bed at 1:00. I've surely never seen it.. oh well, I really shouldn't care what he's up to. But I do anyways. Goddamn, I'm really fucked up.. and my guess is I'm only gunna get worse from here on out.
Well, today nothing noteable at all happened, really. Same 'ol, same 'ol. Except for one thing, and that will be the only thing I talk about in today's journal. In yesterday's entry, I talked about how Greg said he was going away for food, and never came back. Well, this morning he IM's me, and says he's sorry if he mislead me or whatever. It was early, I was grumpy, so I was kind of a bitch to him. I don't really care; it really bothers me when he pulls that crap. We talk about it after I get off of work. I explain to him that it irritates me because I am 1.) Friendless, I envy the fact that he gets to go out and be with his freinds whenever he effin' feels like it, and the fact that I'm choiceless in the matter, because even if I wanted to go out with freinds, I have none local, my only freinds are the furries. 2.) I want his attention. I've grown very attatched to him, and so he's become something that I like to recieve attention from. It bothers me when he's gone, and I can't take my mind off of the fact that he isn't there. 3.) boredom. I admit, he seems to be my main source of entertainment. When he's not around, I go out of my mind trying to, unsuccessfully in most cases, occupy myself. 4.) Finally, I feel very left out. It might not be true, but it always feels like he's having more fun with, or would rather be around, his freinds, especially Chris. I wouldn't doubt that he has more fun with him.. They share more in common than I do. To top it all off, today he was here, but paid very little attention to me, besides trying to explain to me and appologize to me for the way he acted this morning, because his friends were over. Right now his away message says "I'm asleep." I highly doubt he'd ever go to bed at 1:00. I've surely never seen it.. oh well, I really shouldn't care what he's up to. But I do anyways. Goddamn, I'm really fucked up.. and my guess is I'm only gunna get worse from here on out.