(the dust of ages) chapter twelve: hand of god
Title: The Dust of Ages
Author: missaliceblue
Pairing: Peter/Claire. Written for eowyn_girl.
Rating: R for themes, language, some adult situations. But mostly themes.
Status: 12/15. I’ve written the whole thing already, and will try to update daily.
Summary: Peter and Claire were both caught up in this crazy, never-ending circle a long time ago. The real question was, if they could change how things turned out, would they?
Previous chapters here.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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The Grad Night Party had been awful. It had been held at the Holiday Inn, and most of her classmates were full on drunk by the time she got there.
Claire could no more get drunk than she could get a paper cut. And being the only sober person in a group of drunk people pretty much sucks.
So she went home fairly early - earlier than her parents expected, for sure. She took off her high heels and crept in the back door quietly, tried not to wake anyone.
When she opened the door to her room, he was there, on the bed. Future Peter - with the same short haircut that so differentiated him from his present-day counterpart.
She didn't say a word, just grabbed him around the middle. He laughed.
“Shh, you’ll wake them up,” whispered Claire. It was three in the morning, but still. Her dad was a light sleeper.
“Sorry,” said Peter. He set his arms gently around her.
They stood there for a long time, Claire clinging to his back with her fingers. She felt him relax and start to pull away, finally, but he had given her a nice long hug. That made her happy. She tried to subtly wipe her eyes so he wouldn’t see.
“How have you been? What’s new?” asked Claire, as she sat on her bed.
Peter sat down next to her. “You mean since I talked to you a couple hours ago?”
Claire looked confused. “At dinner, you mean?”
Peter smiled. “No, I mean, it was just a few hours ago that I was saying goodbye to you last time.”
A few hours. For her it had been two years.
“Why are you doing it so close together?”
“Because,” he said with finality, and she didn't ask him about it anymore. He had used that strong Peter voice, the one that brooked no arguments. Right Now Peter hadn’t learned that tone yet.
“Is that your bracelet?” Peter gestured at her wrist.
“Yes, you gave it to me,” said Claire.
“I know,” said Peter softly.
“So you haven’t changed that much? In the future, I mean,” asked Claire.
“No.” And darkness passed over his face.
She wasn’t going to let him waste time on any of that. She could get plenty of that from Right Now Peter. She changed the subject.
“Do I look very different?” She stood and turned around in front of him.
“Very,” he said. “Much more lady-like.”
She nodded quickly. “Grown up, you mean.”
He didn't say anything, and the words hung in their air between them.
She took a step closer to him, and she felt the mood change in the room. There was no way he couldn’t have felt it. It vibrated in the air, and between them.
“I missed you,” she whispered softly.
“Me too,” said Peter lamely.
She smiled. “How could you? It’s only been a few hours for you.”
“Maybe it felt longer,” said Peter, and she couldn’t pretend to misunderstand him.
She looked at the ground and asked the question that she’d been waiting two years to speak.
“Do you love me? Does the Right Now Peter love me?”
“God, Claire…” Peter didn't finish his thought. She waited for him to finish, and when he didn't, she just kept on talking.
“I was mad. So mad at you, for a long time,” said Claire.
“I know. You had every right to be,” he agreed.
“You didn't tell me you were my uncle. Then. You could have told me then,” said Claire.
“I really couldn’t,” said Peter sadly. “Nothing would have stopped you from finding Nathan, and it was too soon.”
“Who cares about Nathan?” said Claire sarcastically.
“You did! A lot, if you’ll remember,” said Peter.
“Well now it’s too late,” said Claire, and stamped her foot. “I’m in too deep and it’s too late!”
“It’s not too late, Claire. You can stop it. I can’t. I’ve told you that. You have to be the strong one,” said Peter sadly.
“Why is it up to me? How did you know that I had to trust you?” asked Claire angrily.
“You won’t like my answer,” said Peter.
“Say it anyway.”
He sighed. “I know because…because that’s what you told me I said.”
“So all of this already happened? And there’s no choice, no chance for us to make things different?” asked Claire.
“I don’t know, okay? I think you can change your mind, since you belong here and I don’t, but I just don’t know. I’ve thought about this till my head hurts, and its all one big circle that I don’t know how to stop.”
Claire considered what that meant for a few minutes, and then took a deep breath, gathering her wits.
“Do you want me to change my mind?” she asked.
He was silent.
“Peter, tell me. Do you want me to change my mind?”
When he wouldn’t answer, she lost her temper.
Claire pushed him by the shoulders. “Who is doing this? Tell me!” said Claire, and she was crying now, tears of pure frustration. “This is my life, you know? It’s not some guinea pig maze!”
Peter stood and tucked her head under his chin, held her quietly. “You said once that it was the Hand of God. I don’t have a better answer than that.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he held her for a long time as her hitching breath slowed and her sniffles evaporated into his shoulder.
Then she leaned away from him, and looked up at him. He returned her gaze for a long moment.
It was such a light kiss. One that she fluttered over his lips, little more than a soft sigh that smelled like cherry lip gloss.
And then she kissed him harder, because she didn't care that he was her uncle, and she didn't want to change things.
She felt his body shiver, and his hands dig into her waist.
Claire was never good at being the strong one.
-----
She loved Right Now Peter. So much. She loved spending time with him - as much as she could.
He lived in New York, and she lived in Texas, so she canceled her plans for A&M and had Nathan get her into a college sort of by New York.
Claire didn't want to live in the same town as him, necessarily. But she felt better just by the proximity - knowing she was 6 hours drive from him, if she needed him.
Besides, she had the summers with him. She would always go stay with Heidi and Nathan for part of the summer. While she was there he would take her out and about. To lunches, to movies. She loved every minute of it, even if he kept trying to treat her like a little niece.
Right Now Peter seemed to think that he couldn’t time travel, or even do the zapping transporting thing. She wondered what was going to convince him that he could.
But she played along, played along so well that sometimes she thought she actually believed it - that he really was just her uncle and that their long staring sessions, ones that she swore she didn't initiate - were just an indication of some intense, familial bond.
But Claire knew better, and she would remember, usually late at night in her bed. She’d felt his lips on hers, and she had not forgotten. Had felt his hands clutch her to him, his arms around her. Not like an uncle treats his niece at all.
Claire loved Right Now Peter, but she wasn’t in love with him. She loved him for the man he was becoming. Sure, he looked and acted a whole lot like the man she loved. But not quite. It wasn’t quite the same.
The fact of the matter was the man she really loved didn't exist yet - he was waiting for her though. It had to be soon, which was a comfort, because Future Peter didn't look all that different than Right Now Peter. At least that’s what she remembered in her mind. She didn't even have a picture of him.
She had to believe that he was waiting. That they hadn’t somehow smashed the butterfly, that somewhere he was still waiting for her, waiting.
Always waiting.
It felt like she had been waiting for her life to start for years now.
She lived off of his last words, the promise that he made her after he kissed her on the night of her Graduation. The promise that he’d be back, one more time.
He wouldn’t tell her when. Just that it would be soon.
next chapter!
a/n: sorry this update is so late! only three more chapters left. i'm not going to be able to update this until monday. i'm posting my first sylar/claire fic tomorrow, and i won't be able to update on the weekend. thanks so much for all the kind reviews, guys.
Author: missaliceblue
Pairing: Peter/Claire. Written for eowyn_girl.
Rating: R for themes, language, some adult situations. But mostly themes.
Status: 12/15. I’ve written the whole thing already, and will try to update daily.
Summary: Peter and Claire were both caught up in this crazy, never-ending circle a long time ago. The real question was, if they could change how things turned out, would they?
Previous chapters here.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
------------------------
The Grad Night Party had been awful. It had been held at the Holiday Inn, and most of her classmates were full on drunk by the time she got there.
Claire could no more get drunk than she could get a paper cut. And being the only sober person in a group of drunk people pretty much sucks.
So she went home fairly early - earlier than her parents expected, for sure. She took off her high heels and crept in the back door quietly, tried not to wake anyone.
When she opened the door to her room, he was there, on the bed. Future Peter - with the same short haircut that so differentiated him from his present-day counterpart.
She didn't say a word, just grabbed him around the middle. He laughed.
“Shh, you’ll wake them up,” whispered Claire. It was three in the morning, but still. Her dad was a light sleeper.
“Sorry,” said Peter. He set his arms gently around her.
They stood there for a long time, Claire clinging to his back with her fingers. She felt him relax and start to pull away, finally, but he had given her a nice long hug. That made her happy. She tried to subtly wipe her eyes so he wouldn’t see.
“How have you been? What’s new?” asked Claire, as she sat on her bed.
Peter sat down next to her. “You mean since I talked to you a couple hours ago?”
Claire looked confused. “At dinner, you mean?”
Peter smiled. “No, I mean, it was just a few hours ago that I was saying goodbye to you last time.”
A few hours. For her it had been two years.
“Why are you doing it so close together?”
“Because,” he said with finality, and she didn't ask him about it anymore. He had used that strong Peter voice, the one that brooked no arguments. Right Now Peter hadn’t learned that tone yet.
“Is that your bracelet?” Peter gestured at her wrist.
“Yes, you gave it to me,” said Claire.
“I know,” said Peter softly.
“So you haven’t changed that much? In the future, I mean,” asked Claire.
“No.” And darkness passed over his face.
She wasn’t going to let him waste time on any of that. She could get plenty of that from Right Now Peter. She changed the subject.
“Do I look very different?” She stood and turned around in front of him.
“Very,” he said. “Much more lady-like.”
She nodded quickly. “Grown up, you mean.”
He didn't say anything, and the words hung in their air between them.
She took a step closer to him, and she felt the mood change in the room. There was no way he couldn’t have felt it. It vibrated in the air, and between them.
“I missed you,” she whispered softly.
“Me too,” said Peter lamely.
She smiled. “How could you? It’s only been a few hours for you.”
“Maybe it felt longer,” said Peter, and she couldn’t pretend to misunderstand him.
She looked at the ground and asked the question that she’d been waiting two years to speak.
“Do you love me? Does the Right Now Peter love me?”
“God, Claire…” Peter didn't finish his thought. She waited for him to finish, and when he didn't, she just kept on talking.
“I was mad. So mad at you, for a long time,” said Claire.
“I know. You had every right to be,” he agreed.
“You didn't tell me you were my uncle. Then. You could have told me then,” said Claire.
“I really couldn’t,” said Peter sadly. “Nothing would have stopped you from finding Nathan, and it was too soon.”
“Who cares about Nathan?” said Claire sarcastically.
“You did! A lot, if you’ll remember,” said Peter.
“Well now it’s too late,” said Claire, and stamped her foot. “I’m in too deep and it’s too late!”
“It’s not too late, Claire. You can stop it. I can’t. I’ve told you that. You have to be the strong one,” said Peter sadly.
“Why is it up to me? How did you know that I had to trust you?” asked Claire angrily.
“You won’t like my answer,” said Peter.
“Say it anyway.”
He sighed. “I know because…because that’s what you told me I said.”
“So all of this already happened? And there’s no choice, no chance for us to make things different?” asked Claire.
“I don’t know, okay? I think you can change your mind, since you belong here and I don’t, but I just don’t know. I’ve thought about this till my head hurts, and its all one big circle that I don’t know how to stop.”
Claire considered what that meant for a few minutes, and then took a deep breath, gathering her wits.
“Do you want me to change my mind?” she asked.
He was silent.
“Peter, tell me. Do you want me to change my mind?”
When he wouldn’t answer, she lost her temper.
Claire pushed him by the shoulders. “Who is doing this? Tell me!” said Claire, and she was crying now, tears of pure frustration. “This is my life, you know? It’s not some guinea pig maze!”
Peter stood and tucked her head under his chin, held her quietly. “You said once that it was the Hand of God. I don’t have a better answer than that.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he held her for a long time as her hitching breath slowed and her sniffles evaporated into his shoulder.
Then she leaned away from him, and looked up at him. He returned her gaze for a long moment.
It was such a light kiss. One that she fluttered over his lips, little more than a soft sigh that smelled like cherry lip gloss.
And then she kissed him harder, because she didn't care that he was her uncle, and she didn't want to change things.
She felt his body shiver, and his hands dig into her waist.
Claire was never good at being the strong one.
-----
She loved Right Now Peter. So much. She loved spending time with him - as much as she could.
He lived in New York, and she lived in Texas, so she canceled her plans for A&M and had Nathan get her into a college sort of by New York.
Claire didn't want to live in the same town as him, necessarily. But she felt better just by the proximity - knowing she was 6 hours drive from him, if she needed him.
Besides, she had the summers with him. She would always go stay with Heidi and Nathan for part of the summer. While she was there he would take her out and about. To lunches, to movies. She loved every minute of it, even if he kept trying to treat her like a little niece.
Right Now Peter seemed to think that he couldn’t time travel, or even do the zapping transporting thing. She wondered what was going to convince him that he could.
But she played along, played along so well that sometimes she thought she actually believed it - that he really was just her uncle and that their long staring sessions, ones that she swore she didn't initiate - were just an indication of some intense, familial bond.
But Claire knew better, and she would remember, usually late at night in her bed. She’d felt his lips on hers, and she had not forgotten. Had felt his hands clutch her to him, his arms around her. Not like an uncle treats his niece at all.
Claire loved Right Now Peter, but she wasn’t in love with him. She loved him for the man he was becoming. Sure, he looked and acted a whole lot like the man she loved. But not quite. It wasn’t quite the same.
The fact of the matter was the man she really loved didn't exist yet - he was waiting for her though. It had to be soon, which was a comfort, because Future Peter didn't look all that different than Right Now Peter. At least that’s what she remembered in her mind. She didn't even have a picture of him.
She had to believe that he was waiting. That they hadn’t somehow smashed the butterfly, that somewhere he was still waiting for her, waiting.
Always waiting.
It felt like she had been waiting for her life to start for years now.
She lived off of his last words, the promise that he made her after he kissed her on the night of her Graduation. The promise that he’d be back, one more time.
He wouldn’t tell her when. Just that it would be soon.
next chapter!
a/n: sorry this update is so late! only three more chapters left. i'm not going to be able to update this until monday. i'm posting my first sylar/claire fic tomorrow, and i won't be able to update on the weekend. thanks so much for all the kind reviews, guys.