(the dust of ages) chapter eleven: bones
Title: The Dust of Ages
Author: missaliceblue
Pairing: Peter/Claire. Written for eowyn_girl.
Rating: R for themes, language, some adult situations. But mostly themes.
Status: 11/15. I’ve written the whole thing already, and will try to update daily.
Summary: Peter and Claire were both caught up in this crazy, never-ending circle a long time ago. The real question was, if they could change how things turned out, would they?
Previous chapters here.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Almost dying only bought Peter a free pass for so long. Being nice and telling her that she meant a lot to him only bought him a free pass for so long.
He’d do something really sweet and then turn around and do something very stupid. He made her feel safe and loved and normal and then he would pretty much ditch her or completely ignore her feelings.
It was really starting to piss her off.
She decided that Right Now Peter was not as good as Future Peter. Right Now Peter was actually kind of a wuss. He kept on being Nathan’s buttmonkey, and she didn't get why, why on earth he was so afraid to do his own thing.
Future Peter had always seemed confident, like he wasn’t afraid of anything, let alone a bossy big brother.
Things were strained now, and she got angry enough at him in the car that she finally lost her temper and decided that this guy was a jerk and how dumb was she for completely believing every stupid word he said?
So she took off, and decided that she’d come find him in a couple years, when he wasn’t so hell bent on being a jerk. Maybe.
-----
Of course, that resolve didn't last. It took an hour, maybe, for her to come running. To him.
She ordered herself to pull the trigger, knew that this…that this must have been what he wanted her to do, what he had been preparing her to do. He told her it wasn't about killing but that must have been a lie. So she wouldn’t get scared.
The tears felt hot on her face.
It had always comforted her to think that the future wasn’t written in stone, but as she pointed the gun at Peter’s head she realised just how awful the prospect was.
She could kill him, right now, and he would die. Future Peter would die too.
Claire felt her heart breaking, crumbling into ash and the dust of ages as she shakily held the gun.
“Tell me there’s another way, please!” she asked in a broken voice. Any way.
There were no guarantees in life. Ever.
The only thing that she knew for sure was that he was telling her to shoot him, to do it, and that Future Peter had told her to trust him.
She did trust him, but it didn't make it any easier.
And she felt that strong part of her take over, burn inside her chest, in the place where her heart used to be. Instead of blood and muscle she felt filled with icy determination, that stony resolve that Future Peter had said was there, even though she’d never felt it.
She put her game face on and gripped the handle of the gun. She could be strong, because he told her that she was strong. If he said it was true, then it was and she knew it was true too.
The gun stopped shaking, and she started to put pressure on the trigger.
And then Nathan swept down in front of her. He took away the worst pain she’d ever faced in her life. It almost made up for 16 years of douchebaggery on his part.
She watched as her father and her uncle shot up into the sky. A bright supernova burned hot and red, and it reflected in her eyes.
After, her Dad thought that she was upset. He kept his arm around her and tried to comfort her with kind words about her uncle and her father.
But she found she could smile and laugh and walk and eat and be a normal girl. Because she knew Peter wasn’t dead. She didn't know how, but she did.
Claire knew it in her bones. It was an arcane truth, more secure than the sunrise.
-----
She threw her body against him two weeks later, so hard that she knocked him down onto the couch in his mother’s living room.
He clasped her closer to him and laughed, and Claire thought she could probably die of happiness right at that moment.
-----
Claire thought that it was all over, that she had probably fulfilled whatever destiny Future Peter had needed her to.
She went back to Odessa, back to her school, back to her old friends.
Claire stayed on the cheerleading team and she started a rumour that Brody had pinworms and a little dick and Nina Mancuso backed her up and everyone laughed and after awhile Brody got kicked off the football team for attitude. Ha.
She dated Zach for most of her junior year, and the whole summer after. They have fun together, and he’s nice, and funny, and he knows her secret and doesn’t want to sell her to the circus.
She sent Peter silly little emails, just talking about her day or whatever, and he usually wrote back. They didn’t talk about anything that mattered.
And then Zach moved to Colorado with his family and she didn't have anyone who knew, not anymore. Just her dad, who never talked about it, pretended that it didn't exist. She had felt alone before, but it was nothing compared to this.
Her family exchanged Christmas cards with the Petrelli’s, and she would usually go out for a few days in the summer, to see her brothers, Nathan, everyone.
She’d hang out with Peter while she was there, of course, and he was really great to her - kind and patient and he made her laugh, so hard, all the time. And sometimes, when they stopped laughing and started looking, she could feel it pulsating, running right beneath the surface, a river of molten rock that threatened to consume her. And him, if he’d let it.
Usually in those long moments, before Peter would cough and change the subject, Claire would think that she saw him, hidden behind the eyes of Right Now Peter. That he’d finally come to her and she would be done waiting and then, just like that, the moment would be gone and…nothing.
-----
Time passed. Most days she pretended that she had forgotten about Future Peter most days…and Right Now Peter as well for that matter. Some days it was almost like she had. It was just easier that way.
Which is partly why she didn't expect Future Peter to show up on the night of her Graduation.
Everyone had flown out for it. The Petrelli’s, all of them, including Right Now Peter. They were all pretty nice. Nathan wasn’t such a bad guy from a long distance, and Heidi was downright cool once Claire got to know her.
It was nice to have such a large personal cheering section as she walked across the stage and flipped the little tassel on her graduation hat to the right side.
The dinner after was great. They went to Claire’s favorite Chinese restaurant. Everyone kept slipping her little envelopes filled with cash or a check, and Nathan and her Dad co-toasted her with a speech that made her sniffle like a baby.
Then her mother looked at her watch and said that it was time for Claire to take off for the Grad Party.
Claire had just started gathering up all her stuff and shoving it into her purse when Peter approached her. He handed her a small, white box.
“This is yours. I felt dumb because everyone else gave you cash…sorry.”
“That’s okay,” she said easily, though her heart was beating a mile a minute underneath her pink sundress.
“You can take it back for the cash, if you want. Receipts in there,” said Peter.
Claire looked at the box. “I know I’ll like it,” she said, and raised her other hand to start opening it.
It was a bracelet. Delicate, made of white gold, and it had tiny little diamonds studding it.
Claire lifted it out of the box, and Peter cleared his throat.
“It’s, uh, not much…probably nothing compared to whatever number Nathan wrote on his check, but ah…”
Claire slipped it over her wrist.
“It’s vintage, and I know, um, how much you like stuff that has, like, a history,” finished Peter lamely.
“It’s too much,” said Claire, as she looked up at him.
“No it’s not,” replied Peter quickly.
“I love it,” said Claire quietly, and she put her hand on his, modeling the bracelet for him to see.
And she looked deeply into his eyes, to convince him of that fact, because he was never satisfied by just plain old words.
And there was that crackling stare, that squirmy yet not-completely-uncomfortable feeling that sometimes passed between them when they looked at each other and didn't speak.
She wondered if he saw it, yet, if he could see it. Surely he must.
That’s when her mother pulled her away for pictures. “Hey, wait a minute, I was talking,” she protested and tried to extricate her arm from her mothers grasp.
Her mother got that sassy posture. “Well, I’m sorry Claire, but I’ve got to get these pictures before you go off to your fancy party.”
Peter said that it was okay, he was taking off now anyway.
Claire pouted. “Why so soon?”
“Stuff,” said Peter. Probably more work with Mohinder. He was doing an awful lot of that lately.
“I wish you’d stay,” said Claire.
“Can’t.” He gave her a half-smile as he walked backwards, his hands open at his side.
She didn't get one picture with him that day.
next chapter!
Author: missaliceblue
Pairing: Peter/Claire. Written for eowyn_girl.
Rating: R for themes, language, some adult situations. But mostly themes.
Status: 11/15. I’ve written the whole thing already, and will try to update daily.
Summary: Peter and Claire were both caught up in this crazy, never-ending circle a long time ago. The real question was, if they could change how things turned out, would they?
Previous chapters here.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
------------------------
Almost dying only bought Peter a free pass for so long. Being nice and telling her that she meant a lot to him only bought him a free pass for so long.
He’d do something really sweet and then turn around and do something very stupid. He made her feel safe and loved and normal and then he would pretty much ditch her or completely ignore her feelings.
It was really starting to piss her off.
She decided that Right Now Peter was not as good as Future Peter. Right Now Peter was actually kind of a wuss. He kept on being Nathan’s buttmonkey, and she didn't get why, why on earth he was so afraid to do his own thing.
Future Peter had always seemed confident, like he wasn’t afraid of anything, let alone a bossy big brother.
Things were strained now, and she got angry enough at him in the car that she finally lost her temper and decided that this guy was a jerk and how dumb was she for completely believing every stupid word he said?
So she took off, and decided that she’d come find him in a couple years, when he wasn’t so hell bent on being a jerk. Maybe.
-----
Of course, that resolve didn't last. It took an hour, maybe, for her to come running. To him.
She ordered herself to pull the trigger, knew that this…that this must have been what he wanted her to do, what he had been preparing her to do. He told her it wasn't about killing but that must have been a lie. So she wouldn’t get scared.
The tears felt hot on her face.
It had always comforted her to think that the future wasn’t written in stone, but as she pointed the gun at Peter’s head she realised just how awful the prospect was.
She could kill him, right now, and he would die. Future Peter would die too.
Claire felt her heart breaking, crumbling into ash and the dust of ages as she shakily held the gun.
“Tell me there’s another way, please!” she asked in a broken voice. Any way.
There were no guarantees in life. Ever.
The only thing that she knew for sure was that he was telling her to shoot him, to do it, and that Future Peter had told her to trust him.
She did trust him, but it didn't make it any easier.
And she felt that strong part of her take over, burn inside her chest, in the place where her heart used to be. Instead of blood and muscle she felt filled with icy determination, that stony resolve that Future Peter had said was there, even though she’d never felt it.
She put her game face on and gripped the handle of the gun. She could be strong, because he told her that she was strong. If he said it was true, then it was and she knew it was true too.
The gun stopped shaking, and she started to put pressure on the trigger.
And then Nathan swept down in front of her. He took away the worst pain she’d ever faced in her life. It almost made up for 16 years of douchebaggery on his part.
She watched as her father and her uncle shot up into the sky. A bright supernova burned hot and red, and it reflected in her eyes.
After, her Dad thought that she was upset. He kept his arm around her and tried to comfort her with kind words about her uncle and her father.
But she found she could smile and laugh and walk and eat and be a normal girl. Because she knew Peter wasn’t dead. She didn't know how, but she did.
Claire knew it in her bones. It was an arcane truth, more secure than the sunrise.
-----
She threw her body against him two weeks later, so hard that she knocked him down onto the couch in his mother’s living room.
He clasped her closer to him and laughed, and Claire thought she could probably die of happiness right at that moment.
-----
Claire thought that it was all over, that she had probably fulfilled whatever destiny Future Peter had needed her to.
She went back to Odessa, back to her school, back to her old friends.
Claire stayed on the cheerleading team and she started a rumour that Brody had pinworms and a little dick and Nina Mancuso backed her up and everyone laughed and after awhile Brody got kicked off the football team for attitude. Ha.
She dated Zach for most of her junior year, and the whole summer after. They have fun together, and he’s nice, and funny, and he knows her secret and doesn’t want to sell her to the circus.
She sent Peter silly little emails, just talking about her day or whatever, and he usually wrote back. They didn’t talk about anything that mattered.
And then Zach moved to Colorado with his family and she didn't have anyone who knew, not anymore. Just her dad, who never talked about it, pretended that it didn't exist. She had felt alone before, but it was nothing compared to this.
Her family exchanged Christmas cards with the Petrelli’s, and she would usually go out for a few days in the summer, to see her brothers, Nathan, everyone.
She’d hang out with Peter while she was there, of course, and he was really great to her - kind and patient and he made her laugh, so hard, all the time. And sometimes, when they stopped laughing and started looking, she could feel it pulsating, running right beneath the surface, a river of molten rock that threatened to consume her. And him, if he’d let it.
Usually in those long moments, before Peter would cough and change the subject, Claire would think that she saw him, hidden behind the eyes of Right Now Peter. That he’d finally come to her and she would be done waiting and then, just like that, the moment would be gone and…nothing.
-----
Time passed. Most days she pretended that she had forgotten about Future Peter most days…and Right Now Peter as well for that matter. Some days it was almost like she had. It was just easier that way.
Which is partly why she didn't expect Future Peter to show up on the night of her Graduation.
Everyone had flown out for it. The Petrelli’s, all of them, including Right Now Peter. They were all pretty nice. Nathan wasn’t such a bad guy from a long distance, and Heidi was downright cool once Claire got to know her.
It was nice to have such a large personal cheering section as she walked across the stage and flipped the little tassel on her graduation hat to the right side.
The dinner after was great. They went to Claire’s favorite Chinese restaurant. Everyone kept slipping her little envelopes filled with cash or a check, and Nathan and her Dad co-toasted her with a speech that made her sniffle like a baby.
Then her mother looked at her watch and said that it was time for Claire to take off for the Grad Party.
Claire had just started gathering up all her stuff and shoving it into her purse when Peter approached her. He handed her a small, white box.
“This is yours. I felt dumb because everyone else gave you cash…sorry.”
“That’s okay,” she said easily, though her heart was beating a mile a minute underneath her pink sundress.
“You can take it back for the cash, if you want. Receipts in there,” said Peter.
Claire looked at the box. “I know I’ll like it,” she said, and raised her other hand to start opening it.
It was a bracelet. Delicate, made of white gold, and it had tiny little diamonds studding it.
Claire lifted it out of the box, and Peter cleared his throat.
“It’s, uh, not much…probably nothing compared to whatever number Nathan wrote on his check, but ah…”
Claire slipped it over her wrist.
“It’s vintage, and I know, um, how much you like stuff that has, like, a history,” finished Peter lamely.
“It’s too much,” said Claire, as she looked up at him.
“No it’s not,” replied Peter quickly.
“I love it,” said Claire quietly, and she put her hand on his, modeling the bracelet for him to see.
And she looked deeply into his eyes, to convince him of that fact, because he was never satisfied by just plain old words.
And there was that crackling stare, that squirmy yet not-completely-uncomfortable feeling that sometimes passed between them when they looked at each other and didn't speak.
She wondered if he saw it, yet, if he could see it. Surely he must.
That’s when her mother pulled her away for pictures. “Hey, wait a minute, I was talking,” she protested and tried to extricate her arm from her mothers grasp.
Her mother got that sassy posture. “Well, I’m sorry Claire, but I’ve got to get these pictures before you go off to your fancy party.”
Peter said that it was okay, he was taking off now anyway.
Claire pouted. “Why so soon?”
“Stuff,” said Peter. Probably more work with Mohinder. He was doing an awful lot of that lately.
“I wish you’d stay,” said Claire.
“Can’t.” He gave her a half-smile as he walked backwards, his hands open at his side.
She didn't get one picture with him that day.
next chapter!