this is about getting what you want and realizing you never really wanted it at all....
I adore gene.... I need to tell him.. I need to know how he feels...
umm... this month has been the most confusing ever!!!!
lets discuss marty... okay... well marty... for the past few months he's clouded my mind... I couldn't get him out of my head... and he's hurt me so with his love for becca so finally I got over him... well not completely but enough to where it wasn't hurting me anymore... so yeah I stopped caring... and gene came along... so marty and I have still been talking to him in a friend way... so last night after I left gene's I noticed that I had text from him so i called him and he told me to go over... and I was like cool we're friends... whatever.. we chilled watched some at the drive in videos and some the bled videos... played some guitar... joked around... so then I was tired as fuck so I then I told hime I should get going he opened the door and I thought he was gonna walk me out and he was like ok I didn't want a hug anyways... and I was like oh shit I thought you were gonna walk me out... and he was like no its far... so then I hugged him and he wouldn't let go... he just kept rambling about how glad he was I went over and how I should stalk him now and follow him around and all kinds of shit... so then he kissed my forhead and then kissed my lips... fuck I couldn't believe it... I had been wanting this for so long... I had been needing it to feel alive... and the whole time we kissed all I could think of was gene.... and i kept thinking why now? why the fuck now??? gad so we ended up on marty's couch and I was like Hey i really should go.. and he was like no you really shouldn't..and I was like no really I should! so he was like are you coming back tomorrow? and I was like I don't know... I'll see... he was like I don't like that answer and I was like well thats the best I can do... so then he walked me out and yeah... the whole drive home all I thought about was gene... and now all I can think about is gene... I cant erase him from my mind... I need to know if he feels the same way or if he just wants to be friends with benifits just so my emotions don't get anymore tangeled than they already are.... umm yeah I don't know what to do about marty... fuck me!! just fuck me!!!
yeah fuck me!
<3
Ruby
umm... this month has been the most confusing ever!!!!
lets discuss marty... okay... well marty... for the past few months he's clouded my mind... I couldn't get him out of my head... and he's hurt me so with his love for becca so finally I got over him... well not completely but enough to where it wasn't hurting me anymore... so yeah I stopped caring... and gene came along... so marty and I have still been talking to him in a friend way... so last night after I left gene's I noticed that I had text from him so i called him and he told me to go over... and I was like cool we're friends... whatever.. we chilled watched some at the drive in videos and some the bled videos... played some guitar... joked around... so then I was tired as fuck so I then I told hime I should get going he opened the door and I thought he was gonna walk me out and he was like ok I didn't want a hug anyways... and I was like oh shit I thought you were gonna walk me out... and he was like no its far... so then I hugged him and he wouldn't let go... he just kept rambling about how glad he was I went over and how I should stalk him now and follow him around and all kinds of shit... so then he kissed my forhead and then kissed my lips... fuck I couldn't believe it... I had been wanting this for so long... I had been needing it to feel alive... and the whole time we kissed all I could think of was gene.... and i kept thinking why now? why the fuck now??? gad so we ended up on marty's couch and I was like Hey i really should go.. and he was like no you really shouldn't..and I was like no really I should! so he was like are you coming back tomorrow? and I was like I don't know... I'll see... he was like I don't like that answer and I was like well thats the best I can do... so then he walked me out and yeah... the whole drive home all I thought about was gene... and now all I can think about is gene... I cant erase him from my mind... I need to know if he feels the same way or if he just wants to be friends with benifits just so my emotions don't get anymore tangeled than they already are.... umm yeah I don't know what to do about marty... fuck me!! just fuck me!!!
yeah fuck me!
<3
Ruby