[Memory Broadcast]
[The radio clicks on, beginning to broadcast a young boy speaking. His voice his hgh-pitched, clearly prepubescent, but it's impossible to miss the sheer emotion in his tone: There's a lot of anger there.]
--That was the day my mom died here. They called it an accident.... but it wasn't. I saw the whole thing... [The boy suddenly seems to have a ( Read more... )
--That was the day my mom died here. They called it an accident.... but it wasn't. I saw the whole thing... [The boy suddenly seems to have a ( Read more... )
When Cloud spoke, though, he lifted his head, looking over his shoulder at the other man. Despite his thoughts, his expression was rather neutral, and he lifted a hand in acknowledgment.] Hey. Need something?
[He hadn't forgotten that he had offered to speak with Cloud-- he owed him that much, really. Between his acidic words a week or two prior and the current situation, Cloud deserved to have things at least partially explained. Besides, Cloud had shared information on himself regarding Mushi and his past, and Castor knew he could be trusted for the most part. He was just reluctant to acknowledge that he could let himself speak to the man, there was no true danger in it. It was just easier to lie and tell himself he couldn't.
he moved to a cabinet, pulling out a cup-- and then thinking better of it and grabbing a second, holding it out as an offer.] Just made some, if you want.
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Well. Here they were. He fiddled with the cup a little, unsure if he should sit or just... take the tea and go. Notes to be re-written and all that.] ...thanks.
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For a moment, he looked as though about to speak, though instead closed his mouth and frowned for a moment. What the hell was there to say? And how to say anything without just looking desperate to talk? It had been so much easier when he had shared a room with Pollux, the overbearing man constantly pressing and asking questions. At least then he could nearly convince himself that he didn't need people. He lifted the cup to his lips, before putting the arch of his foot on the chair across from him, tilting his own onto its back legs.]
...This place is getting more fucked up about giving us memories, [He snorted, shaking his head.] As if the damn crystals weren't bad enough. [Still out of the blue, but it was better than just avoiding the topic. At least for now.]
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When Castor spoke up, though, it was obvious that he either didn't mind, or was just making smalltalk until Cloud decided to leave. Well, whatever... they didn't usually speak all that much, despite being neighbors and practically brothers. This was a good opportunity.
He took a sip of tea.] Yeah... the one good thing that can be said for this method is no weird aftereffects.
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Got a point with that one. Seems like everyone in the damn tree got one, too. [At least they were all on a level playing field-- he was hardly the only one with a negative memory. Hell, everyone was probably too busy focusing on their own to care. He tapped his fingers against the teacup, already a little annoyed with himself. So much for trying to have a conversation-- he was already fucking that up a bit.]
...Sorry for cutting you off. [Might as well apologize. A hand came up to rub his eyes and the bridge of his nose.] ...On the radio thing, I mean.
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Oh, uh... [He blinked at the apology, and shifted slightly so he was leaning against the counter. He didn't quite feel comfortable enough to sit, so this was a good compromise between standing and relaxing a bit.] ...it's fine. I shouldn't have been asking something that's none of my business.
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[He shrugged again- why was this conversation so much awkward than he had been expecting? Probably because they were both so reserved, and Castor's reactions hadn't really been favourable. That, and it was a... weird topic.]
It ain't so much that as it was on the fucking radio. [That was what bothered him more-- the fact that anyone could have been listening in. Lin, Paladin, Krile, Wolf, Rain-- anyone.] You're fine.
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He took another sip of tea, longer this time. It was a useful way to buy a little time to think.] ...yeah. Those things are almost worse than the journals for some things--can't really ink over anything you say.
[He could feel the awkward atmosphere, too... it was because they had similar dispositions, probably. It made talking seriously about anything like this hard; Cloud's mild teasing/distraction tactics over the radio didn't count as 'serious.']
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At least if someone missed it, they missed it. [Unlike the journals, that could be referenced back until they were inked over,] But it's twice now the thing's fucked with me.
[And both times his weird... whatever it was with Paladin had been brought up. As if he didn't wonder and half-worry about that enough, now he'd have people asking. Another half-dejected exhale, and he brought his tea up, elbows resting on the table.] I'll be happy when it's over again.
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He smiled a little into his tea, his tone somewhat amused--though not at Castor's expense.] Maybe I should be grateful my luck is holding. It's only done that to me once.
Hnnn. [He folded his left arm over his chest, his hand cupping the opposite elbow.] The first time they lasted, what. A week? So if that's true this time, it won't be too much longer.
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[he stood after a moment to pour himself more of the tea, glancing to Cloud as he moved.] ...Yeah. Never takes too long for things to calm down.
[he was silent again for a moment, brows creasing as the awkwardness set in. Well.. whatever. He trusted Cloud as a friend, brother, and confidante, right? He had spoken about his Persona, almost as much as he had with Pollux. Taking a breath for a moment, he decided to just go for it, speaking quietly through his teeth.] So-- what did you mean when you asked... Like. Why I wasn't doing things with Paladin.
[A quick retreat back to his seat, bringing the cup up to disguise how awkward and uncomfortable this topic was. Cloud had brought it up initially, though, right? Maybe he was just thinking too much.]
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His tea was only half-gone, but he was back to wondering if Castor really wanted him here. Surely this awkward atmosphere wasn't helping anything...
His gaze came up as Castor asked that question, and he blinked. He hadn't expected the younger man to raise the subject again. After a moment, he moved to the table, and sat down in one of the empty chairs across from Castor, setting his tea down and cupping his hands around it.] Like I said, you seem to enjoy spending time with him. Is it because [Pause; though he suspected that Castor and Pollux had been involved in some way, he didn't want to annoy the younger man by insinuating that. Just in case it wasn't true.] you're, uh, not sure he likes you?
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Fuck, he hated this.] ...I mean. Yeah. Kinda. [A hand came up to rub at the back of his neck, absently working through some small tangles in his hair there.]
...It's fucking stupid, [He growled the words in faint annoyance- at the situation, rather than at Cloud.] You'd think I'd have this shit figured out by now.
[Maybe it displayed his age, more than anything- yeah, he'd probably not had any experience with any sort of personal relations- he was awkward enough with friends, let alone anything closer.]
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His brother's words confirmed his guess. He had been right.
Cloud looked down at his tea again, in response to the frustration in the younger man's voice.] ...eh. If it makes you feel any better... you're not the only one who can't figure this kind of thing out.
[He sipped at his tea, wondering what the hell had possessed him to say that.
Maybe Castor wouldn't pursue it.]
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It occurred to Castor for a moment that he really knew next to nothing about Cloud's social life. He didn't know who Cloud spoke to, if anyone, or what he did when he left the Spa. he had just assumed it was none of his business, and stayed out of it, like he did with... well. Most everyone. Maybe that's why he got so easily irritated when people didn't afford him the same courtesy.
His fingers tapped on the side of his cup for a moment.] Gonna have to tell me more than that. [Namely if it was just someone Cloud liked and was unsure about, or a little more... similar.]
Who've you been talking to? [it shouldn't have been surprising that Cloud was just as much of a social failure as he was, but he had always seen Cloud as something of an older brother- someone who had his shit together, who seemed to have a bit more experience with the world. Maybe they really were in the same boat with some things.]
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His gaze slid away, like that would make this easier. Too bad he actually liked Castor... with anyone else, this probably wouldn't even have come up, but he would have felt free to brush it off even if it had. But he'd raised the subject himself, and... he was going to do this, wasn't he.] Hnnn.
Oh, you know... the usual. Sniper, Krile, Smoke... Bellflower... [He glanced back at Castor at that last, wondering if he'd pick up on it from that extremely subtle hint.
He'd kept his... crush secret so long, it was hard to just come out with it to someone else.]
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