Confusion, Frustration, Worry & Stress
I've been saving up for RCFM for a long time. I am really, really looking forward to it.
Conventions make me happy. Not only do they help me get my work out there, they allow me to meet many new, fantastic individuals and artists.
I feel like I'm not even allowed those couple of days to myself. I plan to be working all of those days, art-wise. To me, it is fun, and very enjoyable. I understand that this doesn't make sense to many. Some have asked why in the world should I feel happy about sitting behind a table most of the time? I guess that's just how I am.
I've been talking to my grandmother for a long time about this. She feels like I should not be gone, that it is too long to be away. She does not believe that she can be OK without me there, even though the cat would not be in the house (he'd be taken care of), and even though I would make certain that there is plenty of easy-access food. I think that she is afraid of being alone with my grandfather. At least, that seems like what she is trying to say. She does not feel safe.
When I've tried to suggest having someone be paid to come out and check up on them, I'm told that we do not have the money to do that. That's all right. I do believe that it is actually affordable for us, but I can understand if she simply does not want that. To her, it would feel like strangers are coming into her home.
What about the rest of the family? This is the part that really gets to me. When I suggest talking to other family members about this, seeing if perhaps they could stop by once or twice those few days, I'm shot down again. I'm told not to bother them, they are working, so I should not be allowed to do that. They have jobs, I'm told, and furthermore they have to work more than ever before, "because of the economy". I should not expect anything nor contact anyone because they would not have the time. Sure, how dare I even consider it.
I'm sorry, but if that is the case, then why am I expected to be the one exception to this? I have a job, too. Yes, I'm earning less than I was when I was working at Mc Donalds. But, you know what? At least it is something. It isn't zero. I'd love to be able to completely dedicate myself to working. I'd love to have another job again, even if it -is- at a fast food place, grocery store, etc. I've already had those jobs in the past, so I know what to expect. I don't mind going back to them. I would continue to devote myself to art, regardless. I just ... have to, really.
My apologies for this not-fun post.
Conventions make me happy. Not only do they help me get my work out there, they allow me to meet many new, fantastic individuals and artists.
I feel like I'm not even allowed those couple of days to myself. I plan to be working all of those days, art-wise. To me, it is fun, and very enjoyable. I understand that this doesn't make sense to many. Some have asked why in the world should I feel happy about sitting behind a table most of the time? I guess that's just how I am.
I've been talking to my grandmother for a long time about this. She feels like I should not be gone, that it is too long to be away. She does not believe that she can be OK without me there, even though the cat would not be in the house (he'd be taken care of), and even though I would make certain that there is plenty of easy-access food. I think that she is afraid of being alone with my grandfather. At least, that seems like what she is trying to say. She does not feel safe.
When I've tried to suggest having someone be paid to come out and check up on them, I'm told that we do not have the money to do that. That's all right. I do believe that it is actually affordable for us, but I can understand if she simply does not want that. To her, it would feel like strangers are coming into her home.
What about the rest of the family? This is the part that really gets to me. When I suggest talking to other family members about this, seeing if perhaps they could stop by once or twice those few days, I'm shot down again. I'm told not to bother them, they are working, so I should not be allowed to do that. They have jobs, I'm told, and furthermore they have to work more than ever before, "because of the economy". I should not expect anything nor contact anyone because they would not have the time. Sure, how dare I even consider it.
I'm sorry, but if that is the case, then why am I expected to be the one exception to this? I have a job, too. Yes, I'm earning less than I was when I was working at Mc Donalds. But, you know what? At least it is something. It isn't zero. I'd love to be able to completely dedicate myself to working. I'd love to have another job again, even if it -is- at a fast food place, grocery store, etc. I've already had those jobs in the past, so I know what to expect. I don't mind going back to them. I would continue to devote myself to art, regardless. I just ... have to, really.
My apologies for this not-fun post.