Set my heart awhirl. (3/3)
Start here, okay?
Weeks pass and Nick finds himself trying to play the piece of underwater music on the piano, on the guitar, the tambourine-- whatever instrument he picks up. At first, he's only absently humming the parts he knows best, but the melody has been getting stronger, now that he's spending more and more time with Logan, especially when he's standing really close, but Nick doesn't know why. It's not just lingering in the back of his head, like it has been for the last 13 years. It's on his mind constantly, and he sits for hours at the keys, trying to find the right notes, but it's like pieces of the story are missing.
It's a hot day in mid-June when he slams the lid on the keys, eyebrows knitted in frustration, and Nick caves in.
'can u come over? i need ur help.' He texts Logan, thumbs mashing the keys harder than usual.
Logan replies almost immediately: 'sure. with what?'
'a song.'
'lol, seriously?'
'yes. plz come over ASAP.'
It's becoming clear to Nick that Logan is already quite used to making himself at home with the Jonas family refrigerator. He grabs an apple for himself, holding it between his teeth like a roast pig at a luau, and pulls out the filtered water pitcher. "So, what's this song you need help with?" he lisps around the apple. His voice sounds amused, but it was hard for Nick to tell if he was smiling. Logan opens a cupboard, pulling out two glasses, and fills them with ice from the dispenser on the fridge door.
"It's a mental block. I need some help getting through."
Logan releases the apple from his teeth with a large bite, chewing thoughtfully. "And naturally you ask me, probably your least-musical friend?"
"I thought you might be," Nick pauses, knowing just how cheesy his next word would sound, "inspirational? And besides, you've got a band; you're hardly unmusical."
"A shitty band."
"You were not. I found your myspace page. You had some interesting ideas."
"Interesting is friend-code for shitty, Mr. Grammy Nominated." He takes another bite of apple. "Anyway, I'll do my best." Logan grins, and Nick maybe notices how great that looks when it's a genuine smile, not his typical are-you-kidding-me smirk.
It's warm in the kitchen and the condensation is already building on the side of the glass before Logan could even put the pitcher away. He turns to pass the second glass of water to Nick, and their fingers touch briefly. From the tiny brush of skin, the music blares suddenly though Nick's head like an iPod left with the volume up to the max, paused, unpaused to a jolt of noise, and quickly paused again.
Nick drops the slippery glass in surprise, and it splashes and shatters on the hard kitchen tile.
Logan bends down to help pick up the larger shards of glass, and Nick stops him, grabs his hand. The music crashes over him like a wave. He feels faint and nearly keels over.
"Whoa." Logan pulls his hand back, and reaches out to steady Nick by his shoulders, keeping him from stepping forward into the sharp mess on the floor in front of him. The song is still there, but buzzing now, barely audible. "Dude, are you alright? Is it, like, your blood sugar? Should I call someone?"
"I'm fine." It comes out low, quiet. It only takes Nick a moment to realize that he's about to sound like a crazy person, but he maintains control of his voice. "You don't-- you can't hear that?"
"Um," Logan pauses a moment to listen for whatever he's missing. "I think someone is mowing a lawn down the street?"
"No, the music." Nick stares hard into Logan's eyes. "When you touch me." Logan's cheeks redden, but Nick's too excited about hearing the song in his head so clearly to tease him about it properly. "I don't mean that in the romantic, figurative sense, you jerk. I actually hear music."
Logan drops his gaze to the floor, studying the patterns made by the shards of glass. "Oh. That." His face is burning now. "Fuck, Nick, you aren't supposed to hear that." Nick flinches a little at the foul language, as Logan crouches carefully on the kitchen tile, dropping the larger pieces of glass into what remained of the now-empty tumbler. "You should get a broom or a Swiffer or something, before anyone walks in here."
"Don't change the subject." Nick's words come out sharper than he intended but Logan doesn't acknowledge it.
"We need to mop."
"What just happened, dude? What the heck?!" Nick hunkers down until he's level with Logan again, catches his eye. "Come on, you have to tell me. That music has been stuck in my head for as long as I can remember."
"That's impossible." Logan shakes his head. "You must be mistaken."
"No. Seriously." Nick pushes the brown curls out of his eyes. "Like, since I was really little. I could never figure out what it was, or where I'd heard it. I always kinda thought it was from a movie I saw when I was a kid, but that didn't make any sense. I would've been able to find it again, someone would have recognized it. I mean, I'd almost forgotten about it, until I met you."
Logan sits back on his heels, tipping his head back against the dishwasher and sighs. "I can't believe this is happening right now." He looks sideways over at Nick, still crouched beside him, waiting for him to continue. "Okay, that's... I'm not sure how..." Logan shakes his head, embarrassed. "Nick, I think that song is how my people seduce humans."
He somehow skips the 'seduce' part and jumps right to: "Your 'people'?" Nick's face bears a puzzled expression. "Like, Jewish people?"
Logan snorts, and the laugh surprises both boys. The tension passes out of the room. "No, I'm not, well, my family is and guess I was raised that way, but no. I mean, um, merfolk."
Nick raises his eyebrows.
"Mermaids," Logan continues, "and mermen."
"Um."
Logan reaches up to the counter and grabs his all-but-forgotten apple, taking another large bite. With his mouth full, he explains somewhat hastily, words coming out in a jumbled, apple-crunchy rush. "They're real and have been around for a long time, like thousands of years or maybe longer, and there are some living right here in California," he swallows his bite of the fruit, "and I'm one of them. A merman, but with like, legs."
"Oh." Nick thinks about it for a minute, then asks, half-heartedly, already knowing the answer: "Are you, like, preparing for another Percy movie right now? Is this that method acting thing?"
"No." With a softer smile than usual, Logan collects his thoughts and absently wishes he'd had time to rehearse this speech, but it isn't really something he'd planned on telling someone he only met a few months ago. But, then again, telling his family had been easy enough, and they've been really accepting, so maybe this would work out fine?
"Nicholas Jonas, I'm a merman. I was born somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I was sent to land by my parents when I was really young because they thought I might be a good actor apparently. Kind of bullshit parenting, the ultimate stage-mom move, but that's all I really know about it." The more he talks, the more emphatic his gestures get, and he almost loses grip on his apple. "I was given legs where my tail should be, and after being discovered alone on a beach, I went through foster care and was adopted by the Lermans, my family, which I acknowledge is a pretty unlikely last name, considering." Logan stops short, for fear of tripping over his words. "So. Yeah." He takes a breath, and adds quickly: "Also, I'm bi and am sometimes into guys. Like, you."
There. All of his cards on the table.
Nick doesn't say anything at first, he just picks absently at the glass still scattered on the floor. He clears his throat. "That's cool, I guess." Something in his voice tells Logan that Nick's not remotely convinced about the merfolk thing, and apparently is going to ignore that last part. But then something seems to dawn on him. "You're trying to seduce me?" The corner of his mouth turns up slightly, but he doesn't meet Logan's eyes.
"I didn't realize I was even doing that!" Logan chuckles, shrugs his shoulders. "It's not something I really know how to control yet, but I haven't caused any shipwrecks, so that's a start?"
"Not gonna lie, you're pretty strange." Nick stands up, and steps gingerly over the puddle of water and glass. "We'd better clean this up." He tosses Logan a roll of paper towels. "You've got a song to help me with."
Twenty minutes later, they're sitting in the music room. It's a beautiful space at the back of the split-level house with big sunny windows and comfy couches, and instruments strewn all over, including a baby grand. Logan looks uncertain of what exactly he's meant to be doing here. He's not completely untalented. He can kind of play a few of these instruments, but not the way that Nick-the-wunderkind can. He's a total amateur by comparison.
Nick has a gorgeous, expensive-looking acoustic guitar perched on his knee, waiting patiently for Logan to speak.
"Dude, you're weirding me out," Logan grumbles. "I don't know how this works any more than you do. Nobody ever gives details in the stories."
"You're the one telling me you're a mermaid--"
"Merman," Logan insists, with unfortunate shades of Zoolander.
Either it's true, or Logan's a better actor than Nick realized, because he's almost starting to believe. Not that he'd let on, in case this was still some elaborate unfunny joke. "Whatever. All I know is that when I'm around you, I hear snatches of this incredible melody, and so I called you over here today so that I can figure the rest of it out. The whole part where you think you're apparently a mythical sea-creature is news, but I'm willing to overlook it."
"And the other part?"
Nick looks slightly annoyed now, focused on the music. "Which other part?"
"Never mind." Logan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Look, I don't know how to make you hear the song! I'm not even sure what it's called! I wasn't given a 'How To Be a Merman' handbook when they dumped me on shore. I don't have a mentor, I can't even figure out how to pick out other merfolk. What I do know, I've pieced it together over time." Logan stopped, not wanting to rant or unload on Nick about his shitty secret double life. "Are you hearing it right now?"
"I always hear it when you're near me. But not like I did upstairs, in the kitchen." Nick fiddles with the headband he sometimes wears when his curls get too long. Logan's eyes follow his every move, admitting only to himself that he really likes Nick's hair, and is kind of curious as to how sproingy his hair might be, if he were to pull on one of the tighter curls. He resists the urge. Nick continues, "it was like a jolt, it's why I dropped that damn glass."
"When our hands touched."
"Yeah."
"Okay." Logan holds out his hand, like he's offering it to shake. He's game. "Come on. You know, give it a shot."
Nick quickly inches forward in his chair, resting the guitar on the floor, and softly grasps Logan's hand with his own. It's there, but it's still pretty faint. He squeezes lightly, adjusts his grip, then presses his thumb into Logan's wrist and feels his pulse. It's better, but not nearly as loud and clear as it was before. Nick frowns. "Something just isn't right."
Logan doesn't want to appear to encourage this more than he already has, but he's curious to learn more about himself, about his abilities. It's only somewhat begrudgingly when he says, "I think it might've been the water. I, er, the glass was wet. My hands were wet. Maybe it, I don't know, amplifies the sound. Since I'd normally be in the water when humans, you, hear it."
"You could be onto something, Lerman." Nick, still grasping his hand, drags Logan out of his seat, pulling him through the door and towards the sink in the hallway bathroom. "Could be worth checking out." Neither of them let go first, so when Joe, Jack and Garbo come bursting into the house moments later, they're still holding hands.
Joe takes this in, but says nothing. The boys drop their hands quickly, faces pink and guilty, not looking at each other, even though nothing remotely scandalous had even occurred.
Their research is waylaid when they're dragged out almost bodily to the backyard pool by the other guys and his brother, so Nick hopes he can corner Logan for long enough to test their theory without raising any suspicions. He also worries slightly in the back of his mind about Logan growing a giant fishtail where his shorts should be, but shrugs it off. They've gone swimming together plenty of times and certainly today wouldn't be the day that it suddenly happened in some comical, cinematic fashion.
Based on that knowledge alone, Logan couldn't possibly be a merman. Not that Nick really believes him anyway.
It's a long afternoon. The three-on-two water-basketball game was especially difficult (not even taking the uneven number into account), as every time they'd come into contact while in the pool, Nick's gotten a jolt of the song, little teases, and he feels almost drunk off it. It's like Logan's absolutely vibrating with the tune, and now Nick needs to hear the whole thing in full volume. He can't handle it any longer.
Joe and the other guys had gone in to raid the kitchen despite him totally not living here anymore. Apparently their new place not only doesn't have a pool, it doesn't have food.
It's Nick's best chance.
No pretense, no explanations, he just motions for Logan to swim closer. "I can't wait any longer. We've got to try this now." He doesn't mean to keep speaking but the rest just sorta slips out. "You're driving me crazy, dude."
"Sorry," Logan shrugs, but it's not really an apology. He grins and Nick thinks he looks eager to try this, too. Logan swims over quickly until they're both standing up in the shallow end, water rolling off their skin, as far away from the large house as they can get. "Let's see how this works."
The music draws Nick in closer, and he's surprised at the warmth that radiates from Logan's dripping skin. And as Nick steps into Logan's personal space, the warm chlorinated water laps around their waists, swirling to accommodate their every move. He looks down at Logan's body: no fishtail, no scales, just slim hips and bright green shorts. Moving somewhat jerkily, Nick puts a hand on Logan's arm, curling it around his shoulder. He breathes in sharply as the curious telepathy begins.
It's immediately loud and clear and everywhere. The sound of it was humbling, and the song hadn't changed since he'd first heard it as a child. It invaded all of his senses like a symphony's closing piece, all at once a grand finale, and suddenly Nick isn't standing in the shallow end of his backyard pool. He's in the ocean, no, under the ocean, and Logan is there and they're floating. The music curls around him like a warm current. He's weightless and he can't breathe but it's the good kind of not breathing. The kind where you could if you wanted, but don't want to breathe because you feel so incredible and taking a single breath will only bring you back to the realities of being human so you hold it in for as long as you can.
Nick feels overcome by the music and realizes the futility. He'll never be able to focus on the individual notes like this, he isn't meant to. He can't learn this song, won't be able to repeat it in all its glory, and he isn't meant to. It's too overwhelming and he admits defeat, allows himself to breathe again. His knees buckle and he tips forward, leaning into Logan, breath coming in short gasps. Logan takes a step back to lean against the pool wall. Nick follows, presses into him, dropping his forehead down onto Logan's right shoulder, all dizzying contact. He still can't quite catch his breath, face buried into Logan's neck, heart beating fast.
Then he feels Logan's warm hand on his own arm, squeezing gently, and just as suddenly as it all started, Nick's aware of where he is and what's going on. He's hard. Oh, fuck. Nick pulls away quickly, the music fading out as he breaks the contact he'd just so desperately sought.
The contact he's still, embarrassingly, aching for.
Logan is grinning wickedly at him.
"What's so funny?" he demands, hoping Logan hasn't noticed, hasn't felt him.
"Uh, sorry," Logan coughs, trying to wipe the smile off his face. There is another pause, then "I was just wondering if, um. Okay, that ring that you wear?"
Nick has heard enough crude colour commentary from the media about his purity ring, and instinctively braces himself for whatever came next. He clenches his fists under the water to keep from grabbing protectively at the silver chain hanging around his neck. "Yeah?" His tone was unusually brusque, but he didn't apologize, as Nick didn't really expect Logan of all people to make jokes at his expense, particularly in a moment like this.
"I just wondered if, you know, that applies to non-human contact. Because, uh, well," Logan begins to feel tongue-tied, embarrassed. "Because I think, maybe, and I can't be sure of the biology of it or anything. I couldn't figure out that part of, I mean, with the fishtails and everything? I didn't think they'd be enchanting themselves to grow legs all the time for just a quick roll in the sand. It seems like a lot of work." He's rambling now.
"Get to the point, Lerman."
Logan bites his lip, stalling. "I mean, uh." He pauses again, takes a breath. "I'm so sorry, Nick. We lost control and I definitely feel like you maybe just lost your virginity. Um, merfolk style."
Nick's face turns a deep red, and Logan isn't sure whether it's from rage or humiliation. "Are you kidding me?!" Nick yelps a little too loudly, and then winces at the sound of his own voice echoing off the house. He takes a few steps back, in case anyone were to look out and see he and Logan nearly chest to chest. It would probably come off as more than a little incriminating.
Joe would have a field day.
"Well, I mean, the whole point of a lot of the lore I've read about my kind has been about how we use our songs to lure in humans and have our way with them. Maybe that's how it works."
"I knew you were trying to seduce me!" Nick exclaims, triumphant. The tension broke, and just like that, things felt back to normal. No accusations of merman-on-man rape. "You know that I can't resist a good melody!"
"Are you saying that I'm irresistible?"
"I'm saying that you've been using your creepy sex-predator fish-magic against me." Nick knew there had to be another explanation for why he's still half-hard, why he wants to reach out to Logan again, without pretense, and not let go.
"At least I can't get you pregnant," Logan points out, smiling that stupid lopsided grin of his. "So, wait, you believe me now?"
Nick doesn't know how to respond. A floating foam mattress is within reach so he hoists himself up and gingerly lays down on his front, propping his chin on his arms and willing his body to regain some composure. Deal with one startling revelation at a time. In the haze of the music and how it made him, uh, feel, old memories came back, and Nick feels something click in his mind. "We met in the ocean."
"Well, yeah, dude," Logan nods, stating the obvious. "I saved your ass. It was only a couple months ago."
"No, I mean, I know now where I first heard your song. We were here on vacation when were really young. I was maybe six or seven. You, it must have been you, showed up beside our tour boat, pulled me underwater with the music, and I almost drowned." Nick regards Logan carefully, trying to remember the face of the little boy he'd met underwater so many years ago. The boy he'd all but forgotten about.
Logan leans back in the water, floating, his arms supporting him on a pool noodle. His face was slack with memory. "Oh man, I remember that. I was swimming with my brother and sister, and got lost when I started swimming out to sea. I came up to the surface and realized I was really far from shore, but I didn't care. We were fighting and so I'd decided to run away. Swim away. Whatever."
"It had to have been miles from shore where I saw you, though." Nick is shocked at how quickly the memory has come back, a box unlocked in his mind. "And you were just hanging out underwater, not breathing, talking to me."
"I've always been able to hold my breath for a really long time. It was part of why my family accepted the truth about me so easily." Logan chuckles softly. "I think my lungs are more like a dolphin, or a manatee? It's just my outsides that are different, human. Inside I'm basically an aquatic mammal."
"Is that the scientific term for it?"
"Order Sirenia," Logan announces proudly. "It was named after us, somewhat indirectly. They used to think that manatees were descended from us, because their faces look almost human sometimes."
"Nerd," Nick snorts, but not derisively. "Sea cow."
Logan pushes the noodle down so he's sitting on it, and hugs a beach ball that comes floating by. He allows a few moments to pass, listening to the sounds of cars passing on the other side of the wall. "My parents had people looking for me for hours that day." Logan chews on his lip. Nick can't help but stare. "I'm sorry, Nick. I was just a screwed up kid, trying to get home to a home I don't even know existed for sure at that point. I didn't mean to, you know, lure you into the water with my siren song."
"You're weird."
"Yeah."
"I don't think I mind." Nick casts a glance back at the house, and grabs the end of Logan's pool noodle, pulling him in.
Nick wonders if the song would always make him react that way, or if he could adjust the volume somehow, because with the way that Logan was staring at his mouth, Nick has every intention of touching him again.
Logan really, really likes the expression on Nick's face. He's surprised to see it, but he's excited, because this is the expression Logan's otherwise only pictured a hundred times over the last couple of months, and suddenly it's actually there in front of him. Nick's got sort of a cautiously resolved set to his eyebrows, deadly serious, like he's about to defuse a bomb. Eyes focused, lower lip sucked in. Like Logan was something delicate, something volatile, might explode at any moment.
Nick's hands betray his false calm, though, as Logan can see them shaking slightly as he allows himself to be pulled closer through the water. He speculates fairly fleetingly on whether Nick has ever kissed a guy before, and quickly lands on definitely not which is followed swiftly by oh shit, and then just oh.
There's a big difference, Logan realizes, between befriending a chiseled, saintly seventeen-year-old pop-star, and fantasizing about kissing him. And then having those fantasies suddenly come true because your unconscious powers of seduction presented themselves in the form of a hauntingly catchy musical number, and therefore have apparently turned that pop-star genius a little gayer than they were before you'd met them without actually doing anything on purpose. Logan isn't quite sure if he should feel guilty about unintentionally messing with Nick, or if it was really his fault.
He doesn't have time to think beyond that because Nick is sliding off the inflatable raft, and Logan decides in that moment that it's him Nick's interested in, and not just the song, so he wills himself to shut it off. He doesn't need it, doesn't want it. He doesn't need to lure in Nick, because Nick is moving in of his own accord. Logan doesn't know if it'll even work, but bravely reaches out for Nick all the same, wrapping a hand around the curve of his hip-bone.
Nick flinches instinctively, but then relaxes as he realizes the music isn't about to jolt into his brain again, and then breaks into a genuine smile. "Oh. So now you can control it?"
"I've never had to try before." Logan feels he needs to be direct, to not lose himself in the moment. He needs Nick to know this is him, and not his apparently seductive mer-powers talking, and that this is legitimately happening. "I guess that means I like you for real."
Nick casts another worried glance toward the house before stepping in to close the last few inches between them, and grins gamely. "Good."
It's difficult to say who technically initiated that first kiss, and they'd most likely argue about it later, but Logan doesn't really care. They're both blessed with the sort of confidence that would allow them to be the one to lean in first. Besides, it was either kiss or spend the next five minutes having a one-eyebrow-cocked staring contest, daring each other into it.
It's warm and it's soft, but most of all it's brief. As far as first kisses go-- first inter-species guy kisses, that is-- it's pretty fucking fantastic by Logan's standards. But oh, Nick's already pulling away again, not with the shock and embarrassment of before, but more likely of the gravitas of what they'd just done. He's gone a bit wide-eyed, staring into middle space, confidence dissipating.
Nick's hands are still shaking as Logan coils his hands around Nick's wrists, pulling him back in, and it's clear that they're now both unsure of the next move. Nick's biting his lip, when that's all that Logan wants to do. It takes a good deal of Logan's willpower to not dive in for another, to wrench his eyes away from Nick's suddenly extremely captivating mouth.
Instead, Logan reaches up and tucks a hand under Nick's chin, catching his gaze. "You okay?"
Nick snaps back from wherever it was he went. "Yeah. Sorry." He smiles slowly. "I guess I'm just, I don't know, processing. I've never, uh, kissed a merman before."
"Ah," Logan understood immediately that it wasn't exactly about that. He'd been there once, although it hadn't been with anyone he'd especially cared about. Not like this. He swallows once, bracing himself. "And?"
"I'm into it?"
Oh.
Nick moves in closer, and Logan feels his whole world shift a little to the left. He hadn't expected this to happen, not really. But before Logan can even really think, Nick's mouth is just there and Logan's eyes slip shut. Yes. He surges forward, closing the minuscule gap between them.
There's something to be said about innocence. Logan still wasn't clear on what's Nick's experience level was, but he'd evidently had enough girlfriends to make him an excellent kisser.
He lets his hands wander a little as he leans into the kiss, settling his hands on Nick's waist again, but no lower. He opts to let Nick take the lead. He doesn't want to spook him by moving too fast, but then Logan tries to turn his brain off, stops comparing Nick to a skittish horse.
Nick is less tentative now, anyway, now that the first kiss was over with. Logan likes first kisses a lot, but he admits that it was probably more terrifying for Nick than it was pleasurable, so he finds himself making a concerted effort to make this one count for more. Nick matches him, kissing with increased self-assurance, and Logan realizes that Nick is honestly, really never bad at anything ever. Well, with maybe the minor exception of being clear about his feelings, fuck.
It surprises, Logan, however, to feel Nick's tongue suddenly quite boldly added to the mix, and upon realizing this, he makes what he think is a pretty embarrassing sound, but Nick apparently finds it encouraging as he crowds in closer, a hand on Logan's jaw. Logan politely tilts his hips away, not wanting to freak Nick out with how hard he's getting from the contact, but he's already backed against the side of the pool again and can't move more than a few inches.
Logan flexes his fingers, one hand wandering now to Nick's spine, moving up his back. They're beginning to dry off in the sun, only waist deep in the shallow end of the pool, and Nick's skin is hot all over. Logan quite reluctantly pulls back, breaking the kiss.
"I think you're getting a sunburn," he mumbles against Nick's mouth, but Nick doesn't pull away, shrugging off the concern. Running a thumb along Logan's jawbone, he just can't stop smiling, and Logan accepts that he's probably wearing an equally-as-dopey grin. They spend a moment just staring stupidly at each other, breathing hard.
"Uh, Nick?" came Joe's voice, and Nick freezes as he spots Joe stepping out the back door. "The, ah, the pizza is here."
Nick just blinks, biting his lip, and Logan puts a hand to his chest, pressing him to step back. Not that it would fool anyone. They were caught this time, for sure.
Logan twists his neck to watch Joe approach, and he can tell just by looking at him that he'd seen more than he'd bargained for when he came to call them in for supper. Logan wonders for a second how long he'd been standing at the back door, how much he'd seen, if he'd been watching the whole time. Creeper. He also wonders if he'd heard them talking about Logan's secret.
Not that Logan wouldn't trust Joe, but, you know. Secrets are secrets for a reason.
Nick surprises everyone by being the first one to break the awkward moment and speak up. "Veggies or meat?"
Not ‘go away' or ‘please don't say anything' or even a half-assed ‘this isn't what it looks like' (because it totally is what it looks like, Logan thinks. Holy shit, Nick Jonas is a great goddamned kisser.) No. Rather than any of those things, Nick's first reaction to being caught enthusiastically kissing another dude in his family's backyard pool is to inquire about pizza toppings.
Logan doesn't even hear Joe's bewildered answer because he's too busy fighting the urge to kiss Nick again. Because Nick would totally let him.
Joe crouches down on the edge of the pool and Logan can practically see the brain waves passing between the two brothers. He wonders if maybe they've got some sweet telekinetic powers and are legitimately having a silent conversation right now, but settles on ‘probably not.' It's safe to assume that Logan is the only person in this backyard with any semblance of a superpower. So, instead he tries to follow the quirking eyebrows and subtle nods as best he can, looking back and forth between the two Jonases, head jerking from side to side like watching a tennis match.
Logan finally gets the message, though, when Joe stands up with an "Okay, then" and Nick reaches out and grabs Logan's hand underwater. When he squeezes back, Nick blurts out a loud and uncharacteristic curse word, causing Joe to turn around and look at them. "Language, Nicky."
"Sorry!" Nick calls out, and narrows his eyes at Logan. "I thought you'd turned off your little siren song. Nearly gave me a heart-attack." But he's smiling, not angry.
Logan ducks his head guiltily and apologizes. "I'll get the hang of it, I promise."
"Yeah, yeah." Nick gives him his best disbelieving smirk. "C'mon, let's get inside and grab a slice before Joe blabs to everyone about us."
"Did you seriously just say ‘blabs'? You're such an old lady!" Logan chuckles. "Do you keep little hard candies in your purse, too, Nana?"
Nick feigns being insulted. "It's not a purse, it's a man's satchel! And you know very well I keep candies in there, because I gave you one once and you announced that you could taste the sugarfreeness, whatever that tastes like. And then asked for another one."
"They're still pretty sweet," Logan mumbled.
Nick ducked in swiftly and pecked Logan on the mouth. "So are you, when you're not being a weirdo." And with that, he hoisted himself out of the pool-- all strong, tanned arms and shoulders, pool water dripping down his skin, swim trunks soaked and clinging to every inch. He turns and looks down at Logan. "Come on, Merman. Pizza's getting all cold and eaten."
Logan swallows and drops his eyes to Nick's feet. "Uh, I need a minute." He looks up with a wry grin. "I need to hang out in here for a minute longer, if you know what I mean."
Nick peers over the pool edge and down into the water. "What's wrong?" Then in a more hushed tone: "Are you growing scales?"
Logan coughs, choking on his surprise laughter. "That's not what's, uh," he shrugs, vaguely gesturing towards his dick. "Don't fucking make me say it, Jonas. I don't think you're ready for it."
Thanks to spending the day out in the sun, Logan can't tell if Nick is blushing or if he really is getting sunburned, but his face is pink and the colour spreads down to his chest. His eyes wide, Nick squats down and dips his feet back into the pool. "So, you're..."
Logan bumps his knuckles against Nick's knee. "Hey, it's like, a compliment. Don't freak out on me."
Nick nods. "I'm not! It's just, I don't know. New territory. I've never had that effect on anyone before." He's looking down at Logan thoughtfully. "At least you didn't come in your shorts from all that crazy merman-style sex. That's much worse." He holds his hands up, not sure what else to say. "I can't really help you with this."
"I'm not, you know, asking for anything, or even suggesting..." Logan twists his face up, awkward. "I just need a sec, man. You've got some skills." He shuffles closer, running a thumb along Nick's kneecap, thinking of the sweet scar he's got on his own now. He tries to focus on that memory, not of the chills Nick's touch gave him then too, but on the blood and the dirt and the pain. Anything to keep his mind off, keep his eyes off Nick's flat stomach right in front of him, and the dark trail of hair running down from Nick's navel.
Except, then he feels Nick's foot graze against his thigh under water, wiggling his toes hello, then moving slowly it across and dipping down between his legs. Logan ducks his head, biting his lip as Nick drags his foot up through the water, and teasingly along the outline of Logan's aching hard-on. "Oh, jeez. Nick, stop."
Nick freezes, and Logan immediately wishes he could take it back. He runs a hand over his eyes. "This isn't working," Logan groans. "Dammit."
"Hmm?" Nick looks over at him, still slightly dazed. "What's wrong?" He pulls his foot away completely.
"You're too god-damned good-looking, Nick. That's what's wrong."
Nick frowned, blinking a little in surprise. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear. "Me? You're basically a mythical sea-creature! Stories have been written about your kind for hundreds of years. Every story I've ever read was about how your people have this ethereal beauty that, as you said, people wreck ships and die for." He looks pointedly at Logan. "Talk about a disadvantage. You've got like, legendary hotness on your side."
"But I've never wrecked a ship," Logan protests. "I've never even caused a car accident."
"You nearly drowned me..." Nick reminds him.
"Oh, get over that already!" But Logan smiles. It's hardly something to argue over. "All I mean is that it's been terrible trying to resist you these last few weeks, and now I think it's going to get even harder."
"So you only had a semi before?" Nick deadpans, and it takes Logan a few beats to realize that Jonas McChurchy just cracked a boner joke. When it hits him a second later, he nearly doubles over in laughter and it's so unexpected that it takes Logan a solid minute to collect himself again, his snickers only petering out when he feels a rumble in his stomach reminding him of all the pizza they're not eating.
"Alright, alright. Now I'm hungry." Logan pulls himself out of the pool at last, pulling a t-shirt on and wrapping a beach towel around his waist after wringing most of the chlorinated water from his shorts. He doesn't want to be the jerk who dripped water all over the house. He needs to make an effort now.
Logan feels himself cancelling plans. Not film roles or other career stuff, but all the little plans he'd been half-making over the last few years, to take off after high school, and travel between movies and jump head-long into research and maybe getting certified as a scuba-diver until he can stupidly afford to buy his own submarine. He didn't feel the urgency like he did before, or the loneliness of hiding who he really is.
Someday he'll try to contact his people, but it isn't going to be this summer.
He didn't want to say that spending time with Nick was more important than discovering more clues about his identity, but it was certainly going to be a welcome distraction from the stress and worry. Or hell, maybe they'd take a road trip together, and Nick would go down in a submersible with him. It was crazy and dangerous, and incredibly unlikely, but unfortunately so was the idea of publicly dating a good Christian boy fresh from the House of Mouse.
Nick bumps shoulders with Logan as they walk back through the yard, but otherwise they walk separately. Joe seeing them together was enough for one day, and this was definitely a secret for them to hold onto for as long as they can.
It's okay. Logan knows a thing or two about keeping secrets.
END.
Weeks pass and Nick finds himself trying to play the piece of underwater music on the piano, on the guitar, the tambourine-- whatever instrument he picks up. At first, he's only absently humming the parts he knows best, but the melody has been getting stronger, now that he's spending more and more time with Logan, especially when he's standing really close, but Nick doesn't know why. It's not just lingering in the back of his head, like it has been for the last 13 years. It's on his mind constantly, and he sits for hours at the keys, trying to find the right notes, but it's like pieces of the story are missing.
It's a hot day in mid-June when he slams the lid on the keys, eyebrows knitted in frustration, and Nick caves in.
'can u come over? i need ur help.' He texts Logan, thumbs mashing the keys harder than usual.
Logan replies almost immediately: 'sure. with what?'
'a song.'
'lol, seriously?'
'yes. plz come over ASAP.'
It's becoming clear to Nick that Logan is already quite used to making himself at home with the Jonas family refrigerator. He grabs an apple for himself, holding it between his teeth like a roast pig at a luau, and pulls out the filtered water pitcher. "So, what's this song you need help with?" he lisps around the apple. His voice sounds amused, but it was hard for Nick to tell if he was smiling. Logan opens a cupboard, pulling out two glasses, and fills them with ice from the dispenser on the fridge door.
"It's a mental block. I need some help getting through."
Logan releases the apple from his teeth with a large bite, chewing thoughtfully. "And naturally you ask me, probably your least-musical friend?"
"I thought you might be," Nick pauses, knowing just how cheesy his next word would sound, "inspirational? And besides, you've got a band; you're hardly unmusical."
"A shitty band."
"You were not. I found your myspace page. You had some interesting ideas."
"Interesting is friend-code for shitty, Mr. Grammy Nominated." He takes another bite of apple. "Anyway, I'll do my best." Logan grins, and Nick maybe notices how great that looks when it's a genuine smile, not his typical are-you-kidding-me smirk.
It's warm in the kitchen and the condensation is already building on the side of the glass before Logan could even put the pitcher away. He turns to pass the second glass of water to Nick, and their fingers touch briefly. From the tiny brush of skin, the music blares suddenly though Nick's head like an iPod left with the volume up to the max, paused, unpaused to a jolt of noise, and quickly paused again.
Nick drops the slippery glass in surprise, and it splashes and shatters on the hard kitchen tile.
Logan bends down to help pick up the larger shards of glass, and Nick stops him, grabs his hand. The music crashes over him like a wave. He feels faint and nearly keels over.
"Whoa." Logan pulls his hand back, and reaches out to steady Nick by his shoulders, keeping him from stepping forward into the sharp mess on the floor in front of him. The song is still there, but buzzing now, barely audible. "Dude, are you alright? Is it, like, your blood sugar? Should I call someone?"
"I'm fine." It comes out low, quiet. It only takes Nick a moment to realize that he's about to sound like a crazy person, but he maintains control of his voice. "You don't-- you can't hear that?"
"Um," Logan pauses a moment to listen for whatever he's missing. "I think someone is mowing a lawn down the street?"
"No, the music." Nick stares hard into Logan's eyes. "When you touch me." Logan's cheeks redden, but Nick's too excited about hearing the song in his head so clearly to tease him about it properly. "I don't mean that in the romantic, figurative sense, you jerk. I actually hear music."
Logan drops his gaze to the floor, studying the patterns made by the shards of glass. "Oh. That." His face is burning now. "Fuck, Nick, you aren't supposed to hear that." Nick flinches a little at the foul language, as Logan crouches carefully on the kitchen tile, dropping the larger pieces of glass into what remained of the now-empty tumbler. "You should get a broom or a Swiffer or something, before anyone walks in here."
"Don't change the subject." Nick's words come out sharper than he intended but Logan doesn't acknowledge it.
"We need to mop."
"What just happened, dude? What the heck?!" Nick hunkers down until he's level with Logan again, catches his eye. "Come on, you have to tell me. That music has been stuck in my head for as long as I can remember."
"That's impossible." Logan shakes his head. "You must be mistaken."
"No. Seriously." Nick pushes the brown curls out of his eyes. "Like, since I was really little. I could never figure out what it was, or where I'd heard it. I always kinda thought it was from a movie I saw when I was a kid, but that didn't make any sense. I would've been able to find it again, someone would have recognized it. I mean, I'd almost forgotten about it, until I met you."
Logan sits back on his heels, tipping his head back against the dishwasher and sighs. "I can't believe this is happening right now." He looks sideways over at Nick, still crouched beside him, waiting for him to continue. "Okay, that's... I'm not sure how..." Logan shakes his head, embarrassed. "Nick, I think that song is how my people seduce humans."
He somehow skips the 'seduce' part and jumps right to: "Your 'people'?" Nick's face bears a puzzled expression. "Like, Jewish people?"
Logan snorts, and the laugh surprises both boys. The tension passes out of the room. "No, I'm not, well, my family is and guess I was raised that way, but no. I mean, um, merfolk."
Nick raises his eyebrows.
"Mermaids," Logan continues, "and mermen."
"Um."
Logan reaches up to the counter and grabs his all-but-forgotten apple, taking another large bite. With his mouth full, he explains somewhat hastily, words coming out in a jumbled, apple-crunchy rush. "They're real and have been around for a long time, like thousands of years or maybe longer, and there are some living right here in California," he swallows his bite of the fruit, "and I'm one of them. A merman, but with like, legs."
"Oh." Nick thinks about it for a minute, then asks, half-heartedly, already knowing the answer: "Are you, like, preparing for another Percy movie right now? Is this that method acting thing?"
"No." With a softer smile than usual, Logan collects his thoughts and absently wishes he'd had time to rehearse this speech, but it isn't really something he'd planned on telling someone he only met a few months ago. But, then again, telling his family had been easy enough, and they've been really accepting, so maybe this would work out fine?
"Nicholas Jonas, I'm a merman. I was born somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I was sent to land by my parents when I was really young because they thought I might be a good actor apparently. Kind of bullshit parenting, the ultimate stage-mom move, but that's all I really know about it." The more he talks, the more emphatic his gestures get, and he almost loses grip on his apple. "I was given legs where my tail should be, and after being discovered alone on a beach, I went through foster care and was adopted by the Lermans, my family, which I acknowledge is a pretty unlikely last name, considering." Logan stops short, for fear of tripping over his words. "So. Yeah." He takes a breath, and adds quickly: "Also, I'm bi and am sometimes into guys. Like, you."
There. All of his cards on the table.
Nick doesn't say anything at first, he just picks absently at the glass still scattered on the floor. He clears his throat. "That's cool, I guess." Something in his voice tells Logan that Nick's not remotely convinced about the merfolk thing, and apparently is going to ignore that last part. But then something seems to dawn on him. "You're trying to seduce me?" The corner of his mouth turns up slightly, but he doesn't meet Logan's eyes.
"I didn't realize I was even doing that!" Logan chuckles, shrugs his shoulders. "It's not something I really know how to control yet, but I haven't caused any shipwrecks, so that's a start?"
"Not gonna lie, you're pretty strange." Nick stands up, and steps gingerly over the puddle of water and glass. "We'd better clean this up." He tosses Logan a roll of paper towels. "You've got a song to help me with."
Twenty minutes later, they're sitting in the music room. It's a beautiful space at the back of the split-level house with big sunny windows and comfy couches, and instruments strewn all over, including a baby grand. Logan looks uncertain of what exactly he's meant to be doing here. He's not completely untalented. He can kind of play a few of these instruments, but not the way that Nick-the-wunderkind can. He's a total amateur by comparison.
Nick has a gorgeous, expensive-looking acoustic guitar perched on his knee, waiting patiently for Logan to speak.
"Dude, you're weirding me out," Logan grumbles. "I don't know how this works any more than you do. Nobody ever gives details in the stories."
"You're the one telling me you're a mermaid--"
"Merman," Logan insists, with unfortunate shades of Zoolander.
Either it's true, or Logan's a better actor than Nick realized, because he's almost starting to believe. Not that he'd let on, in case this was still some elaborate unfunny joke. "Whatever. All I know is that when I'm around you, I hear snatches of this incredible melody, and so I called you over here today so that I can figure the rest of it out. The whole part where you think you're apparently a mythical sea-creature is news, but I'm willing to overlook it."
"And the other part?"
Nick looks slightly annoyed now, focused on the music. "Which other part?"
"Never mind." Logan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Look, I don't know how to make you hear the song! I'm not even sure what it's called! I wasn't given a 'How To Be a Merman' handbook when they dumped me on shore. I don't have a mentor, I can't even figure out how to pick out other merfolk. What I do know, I've pieced it together over time." Logan stopped, not wanting to rant or unload on Nick about his shitty secret double life. "Are you hearing it right now?"
"I always hear it when you're near me. But not like I did upstairs, in the kitchen." Nick fiddles with the headband he sometimes wears when his curls get too long. Logan's eyes follow his every move, admitting only to himself that he really likes Nick's hair, and is kind of curious as to how sproingy his hair might be, if he were to pull on one of the tighter curls. He resists the urge. Nick continues, "it was like a jolt, it's why I dropped that damn glass."
"When our hands touched."
"Yeah."
"Okay." Logan holds out his hand, like he's offering it to shake. He's game. "Come on. You know, give it a shot."
Nick quickly inches forward in his chair, resting the guitar on the floor, and softly grasps Logan's hand with his own. It's there, but it's still pretty faint. He squeezes lightly, adjusts his grip, then presses his thumb into Logan's wrist and feels his pulse. It's better, but not nearly as loud and clear as it was before. Nick frowns. "Something just isn't right."
Logan doesn't want to appear to encourage this more than he already has, but he's curious to learn more about himself, about his abilities. It's only somewhat begrudgingly when he says, "I think it might've been the water. I, er, the glass was wet. My hands were wet. Maybe it, I don't know, amplifies the sound. Since I'd normally be in the water when humans, you, hear it."
"You could be onto something, Lerman." Nick, still grasping his hand, drags Logan out of his seat, pulling him through the door and towards the sink in the hallway bathroom. "Could be worth checking out." Neither of them let go first, so when Joe, Jack and Garbo come bursting into the house moments later, they're still holding hands.
Joe takes this in, but says nothing. The boys drop their hands quickly, faces pink and guilty, not looking at each other, even though nothing remotely scandalous had even occurred.
Their research is waylaid when they're dragged out almost bodily to the backyard pool by the other guys and his brother, so Nick hopes he can corner Logan for long enough to test their theory without raising any suspicions. He also worries slightly in the back of his mind about Logan growing a giant fishtail where his shorts should be, but shrugs it off. They've gone swimming together plenty of times and certainly today wouldn't be the day that it suddenly happened in some comical, cinematic fashion.
Based on that knowledge alone, Logan couldn't possibly be a merman. Not that Nick really believes him anyway.
It's a long afternoon. The three-on-two water-basketball game was especially difficult (not even taking the uneven number into account), as every time they'd come into contact while in the pool, Nick's gotten a jolt of the song, little teases, and he feels almost drunk off it. It's like Logan's absolutely vibrating with the tune, and now Nick needs to hear the whole thing in full volume. He can't handle it any longer.
Joe and the other guys had gone in to raid the kitchen despite him totally not living here anymore. Apparently their new place not only doesn't have a pool, it doesn't have food.
It's Nick's best chance.
No pretense, no explanations, he just motions for Logan to swim closer. "I can't wait any longer. We've got to try this now." He doesn't mean to keep speaking but the rest just sorta slips out. "You're driving me crazy, dude."
"Sorry," Logan shrugs, but it's not really an apology. He grins and Nick thinks he looks eager to try this, too. Logan swims over quickly until they're both standing up in the shallow end, water rolling off their skin, as far away from the large house as they can get. "Let's see how this works."
The music draws Nick in closer, and he's surprised at the warmth that radiates from Logan's dripping skin. And as Nick steps into Logan's personal space, the warm chlorinated water laps around their waists, swirling to accommodate their every move. He looks down at Logan's body: no fishtail, no scales, just slim hips and bright green shorts. Moving somewhat jerkily, Nick puts a hand on Logan's arm, curling it around his shoulder. He breathes in sharply as the curious telepathy begins.
It's immediately loud and clear and everywhere. The sound of it was humbling, and the song hadn't changed since he'd first heard it as a child. It invaded all of his senses like a symphony's closing piece, all at once a grand finale, and suddenly Nick isn't standing in the shallow end of his backyard pool. He's in the ocean, no, under the ocean, and Logan is there and they're floating. The music curls around him like a warm current. He's weightless and he can't breathe but it's the good kind of not breathing. The kind where you could if you wanted, but don't want to breathe because you feel so incredible and taking a single breath will only bring you back to the realities of being human so you hold it in for as long as you can.
Nick feels overcome by the music and realizes the futility. He'll never be able to focus on the individual notes like this, he isn't meant to. He can't learn this song, won't be able to repeat it in all its glory, and he isn't meant to. It's too overwhelming and he admits defeat, allows himself to breathe again. His knees buckle and he tips forward, leaning into Logan, breath coming in short gasps. Logan takes a step back to lean against the pool wall. Nick follows, presses into him, dropping his forehead down onto Logan's right shoulder, all dizzying contact. He still can't quite catch his breath, face buried into Logan's neck, heart beating fast.
Then he feels Logan's warm hand on his own arm, squeezing gently, and just as suddenly as it all started, Nick's aware of where he is and what's going on. He's hard. Oh, fuck. Nick pulls away quickly, the music fading out as he breaks the contact he'd just so desperately sought.
The contact he's still, embarrassingly, aching for.
Logan is grinning wickedly at him.
"What's so funny?" he demands, hoping Logan hasn't noticed, hasn't felt him.
"Uh, sorry," Logan coughs, trying to wipe the smile off his face. There is another pause, then "I was just wondering if, um. Okay, that ring that you wear?"
Nick has heard enough crude colour commentary from the media about his purity ring, and instinctively braces himself for whatever came next. He clenches his fists under the water to keep from grabbing protectively at the silver chain hanging around his neck. "Yeah?" His tone was unusually brusque, but he didn't apologize, as Nick didn't really expect Logan of all people to make jokes at his expense, particularly in a moment like this.
"I just wondered if, you know, that applies to non-human contact. Because, uh, well," Logan begins to feel tongue-tied, embarrassed. "Because I think, maybe, and I can't be sure of the biology of it or anything. I couldn't figure out that part of, I mean, with the fishtails and everything? I didn't think they'd be enchanting themselves to grow legs all the time for just a quick roll in the sand. It seems like a lot of work." He's rambling now.
"Get to the point, Lerman."
Logan bites his lip, stalling. "I mean, uh." He pauses again, takes a breath. "I'm so sorry, Nick. We lost control and I definitely feel like you maybe just lost your virginity. Um, merfolk style."
Nick's face turns a deep red, and Logan isn't sure whether it's from rage or humiliation. "Are you kidding me?!" Nick yelps a little too loudly, and then winces at the sound of his own voice echoing off the house. He takes a few steps back, in case anyone were to look out and see he and Logan nearly chest to chest. It would probably come off as more than a little incriminating.
Joe would have a field day.
"Well, I mean, the whole point of a lot of the lore I've read about my kind has been about how we use our songs to lure in humans and have our way with them. Maybe that's how it works."
"I knew you were trying to seduce me!" Nick exclaims, triumphant. The tension broke, and just like that, things felt back to normal. No accusations of merman-on-man rape. "You know that I can't resist a good melody!"
"Are you saying that I'm irresistible?"
"I'm saying that you've been using your creepy sex-predator fish-magic against me." Nick knew there had to be another explanation for why he's still half-hard, why he wants to reach out to Logan again, without pretense, and not let go.
"At least I can't get you pregnant," Logan points out, smiling that stupid lopsided grin of his. "So, wait, you believe me now?"
Nick doesn't know how to respond. A floating foam mattress is within reach so he hoists himself up and gingerly lays down on his front, propping his chin on his arms and willing his body to regain some composure. Deal with one startling revelation at a time. In the haze of the music and how it made him, uh, feel, old memories came back, and Nick feels something click in his mind. "We met in the ocean."
"Well, yeah, dude," Logan nods, stating the obvious. "I saved your ass. It was only a couple months ago."
"No, I mean, I know now where I first heard your song. We were here on vacation when were really young. I was maybe six or seven. You, it must have been you, showed up beside our tour boat, pulled me underwater with the music, and I almost drowned." Nick regards Logan carefully, trying to remember the face of the little boy he'd met underwater so many years ago. The boy he'd all but forgotten about.
Logan leans back in the water, floating, his arms supporting him on a pool noodle. His face was slack with memory. "Oh man, I remember that. I was swimming with my brother and sister, and got lost when I started swimming out to sea. I came up to the surface and realized I was really far from shore, but I didn't care. We were fighting and so I'd decided to run away. Swim away. Whatever."
"It had to have been miles from shore where I saw you, though." Nick is shocked at how quickly the memory has come back, a box unlocked in his mind. "And you were just hanging out underwater, not breathing, talking to me."
"I've always been able to hold my breath for a really long time. It was part of why my family accepted the truth about me so easily." Logan chuckles softly. "I think my lungs are more like a dolphin, or a manatee? It's just my outsides that are different, human. Inside I'm basically an aquatic mammal."
"Is that the scientific term for it?"
"Order Sirenia," Logan announces proudly. "It was named after us, somewhat indirectly. They used to think that manatees were descended from us, because their faces look almost human sometimes."
"Nerd," Nick snorts, but not derisively. "Sea cow."
Logan pushes the noodle down so he's sitting on it, and hugs a beach ball that comes floating by. He allows a few moments to pass, listening to the sounds of cars passing on the other side of the wall. "My parents had people looking for me for hours that day." Logan chews on his lip. Nick can't help but stare. "I'm sorry, Nick. I was just a screwed up kid, trying to get home to a home I don't even know existed for sure at that point. I didn't mean to, you know, lure you into the water with my siren song."
"You're weird."
"Yeah."
"I don't think I mind." Nick casts a glance back at the house, and grabs the end of Logan's pool noodle, pulling him in.
Nick wonders if the song would always make him react that way, or if he could adjust the volume somehow, because with the way that Logan was staring at his mouth, Nick has every intention of touching him again.
Logan really, really likes the expression on Nick's face. He's surprised to see it, but he's excited, because this is the expression Logan's otherwise only pictured a hundred times over the last couple of months, and suddenly it's actually there in front of him. Nick's got sort of a cautiously resolved set to his eyebrows, deadly serious, like he's about to defuse a bomb. Eyes focused, lower lip sucked in. Like Logan was something delicate, something volatile, might explode at any moment.
Nick's hands betray his false calm, though, as Logan can see them shaking slightly as he allows himself to be pulled closer through the water. He speculates fairly fleetingly on whether Nick has ever kissed a guy before, and quickly lands on definitely not which is followed swiftly by oh shit, and then just oh.
There's a big difference, Logan realizes, between befriending a chiseled, saintly seventeen-year-old pop-star, and fantasizing about kissing him. And then having those fantasies suddenly come true because your unconscious powers of seduction presented themselves in the form of a hauntingly catchy musical number, and therefore have apparently turned that pop-star genius a little gayer than they were before you'd met them without actually doing anything on purpose. Logan isn't quite sure if he should feel guilty about unintentionally messing with Nick, or if it was really his fault.
He doesn't have time to think beyond that because Nick is sliding off the inflatable raft, and Logan decides in that moment that it's him Nick's interested in, and not just the song, so he wills himself to shut it off. He doesn't need it, doesn't want it. He doesn't need to lure in Nick, because Nick is moving in of his own accord. Logan doesn't know if it'll even work, but bravely reaches out for Nick all the same, wrapping a hand around the curve of his hip-bone.
Nick flinches instinctively, but then relaxes as he realizes the music isn't about to jolt into his brain again, and then breaks into a genuine smile. "Oh. So now you can control it?"
"I've never had to try before." Logan feels he needs to be direct, to not lose himself in the moment. He needs Nick to know this is him, and not his apparently seductive mer-powers talking, and that this is legitimately happening. "I guess that means I like you for real."
Nick casts another worried glance toward the house before stepping in to close the last few inches between them, and grins gamely. "Good."
It's difficult to say who technically initiated that first kiss, and they'd most likely argue about it later, but Logan doesn't really care. They're both blessed with the sort of confidence that would allow them to be the one to lean in first. Besides, it was either kiss or spend the next five minutes having a one-eyebrow-cocked staring contest, daring each other into it.
It's warm and it's soft, but most of all it's brief. As far as first kisses go-- first inter-species guy kisses, that is-- it's pretty fucking fantastic by Logan's standards. But oh, Nick's already pulling away again, not with the shock and embarrassment of before, but more likely of the gravitas of what they'd just done. He's gone a bit wide-eyed, staring into middle space, confidence dissipating.
Nick's hands are still shaking as Logan coils his hands around Nick's wrists, pulling him back in, and it's clear that they're now both unsure of the next move. Nick's biting his lip, when that's all that Logan wants to do. It takes a good deal of Logan's willpower to not dive in for another, to wrench his eyes away from Nick's suddenly extremely captivating mouth.
Instead, Logan reaches up and tucks a hand under Nick's chin, catching his gaze. "You okay?"
Nick snaps back from wherever it was he went. "Yeah. Sorry." He smiles slowly. "I guess I'm just, I don't know, processing. I've never, uh, kissed a merman before."
"Ah," Logan understood immediately that it wasn't exactly about that. He'd been there once, although it hadn't been with anyone he'd especially cared about. Not like this. He swallows once, bracing himself. "And?"
"I'm into it?"
Oh.
Nick moves in closer, and Logan feels his whole world shift a little to the left. He hadn't expected this to happen, not really. But before Logan can even really think, Nick's mouth is just there and Logan's eyes slip shut. Yes. He surges forward, closing the minuscule gap between them.
There's something to be said about innocence. Logan still wasn't clear on what's Nick's experience level was, but he'd evidently had enough girlfriends to make him an excellent kisser.
He lets his hands wander a little as he leans into the kiss, settling his hands on Nick's waist again, but no lower. He opts to let Nick take the lead. He doesn't want to spook him by moving too fast, but then Logan tries to turn his brain off, stops comparing Nick to a skittish horse.
Nick is less tentative now, anyway, now that the first kiss was over with. Logan likes first kisses a lot, but he admits that it was probably more terrifying for Nick than it was pleasurable, so he finds himself making a concerted effort to make this one count for more. Nick matches him, kissing with increased self-assurance, and Logan realizes that Nick is honestly, really never bad at anything ever. Well, with maybe the minor exception of being clear about his feelings, fuck.
It surprises, Logan, however, to feel Nick's tongue suddenly quite boldly added to the mix, and upon realizing this, he makes what he think is a pretty embarrassing sound, but Nick apparently finds it encouraging as he crowds in closer, a hand on Logan's jaw. Logan politely tilts his hips away, not wanting to freak Nick out with how hard he's getting from the contact, but he's already backed against the side of the pool again and can't move more than a few inches.
Logan flexes his fingers, one hand wandering now to Nick's spine, moving up his back. They're beginning to dry off in the sun, only waist deep in the shallow end of the pool, and Nick's skin is hot all over. Logan quite reluctantly pulls back, breaking the kiss.
"I think you're getting a sunburn," he mumbles against Nick's mouth, but Nick doesn't pull away, shrugging off the concern. Running a thumb along Logan's jawbone, he just can't stop smiling, and Logan accepts that he's probably wearing an equally-as-dopey grin. They spend a moment just staring stupidly at each other, breathing hard.
"Uh, Nick?" came Joe's voice, and Nick freezes as he spots Joe stepping out the back door. "The, ah, the pizza is here."
Nick just blinks, biting his lip, and Logan puts a hand to his chest, pressing him to step back. Not that it would fool anyone. They were caught this time, for sure.
Logan twists his neck to watch Joe approach, and he can tell just by looking at him that he'd seen more than he'd bargained for when he came to call them in for supper. Logan wonders for a second how long he'd been standing at the back door, how much he'd seen, if he'd been watching the whole time. Creeper. He also wonders if he'd heard them talking about Logan's secret.
Not that Logan wouldn't trust Joe, but, you know. Secrets are secrets for a reason.
Nick surprises everyone by being the first one to break the awkward moment and speak up. "Veggies or meat?"
Not ‘go away' or ‘please don't say anything' or even a half-assed ‘this isn't what it looks like' (because it totally is what it looks like, Logan thinks. Holy shit, Nick Jonas is a great goddamned kisser.) No. Rather than any of those things, Nick's first reaction to being caught enthusiastically kissing another dude in his family's backyard pool is to inquire about pizza toppings.
Logan doesn't even hear Joe's bewildered answer because he's too busy fighting the urge to kiss Nick again. Because Nick would totally let him.
Joe crouches down on the edge of the pool and Logan can practically see the brain waves passing between the two brothers. He wonders if maybe they've got some sweet telekinetic powers and are legitimately having a silent conversation right now, but settles on ‘probably not.' It's safe to assume that Logan is the only person in this backyard with any semblance of a superpower. So, instead he tries to follow the quirking eyebrows and subtle nods as best he can, looking back and forth between the two Jonases, head jerking from side to side like watching a tennis match.
Logan finally gets the message, though, when Joe stands up with an "Okay, then" and Nick reaches out and grabs Logan's hand underwater. When he squeezes back, Nick blurts out a loud and uncharacteristic curse word, causing Joe to turn around and look at them. "Language, Nicky."
"Sorry!" Nick calls out, and narrows his eyes at Logan. "I thought you'd turned off your little siren song. Nearly gave me a heart-attack." But he's smiling, not angry.
Logan ducks his head guiltily and apologizes. "I'll get the hang of it, I promise."
"Yeah, yeah." Nick gives him his best disbelieving smirk. "C'mon, let's get inside and grab a slice before Joe blabs to everyone about us."
"Did you seriously just say ‘blabs'? You're such an old lady!" Logan chuckles. "Do you keep little hard candies in your purse, too, Nana?"
Nick feigns being insulted. "It's not a purse, it's a man's satchel! And you know very well I keep candies in there, because I gave you one once and you announced that you could taste the sugarfreeness, whatever that tastes like. And then asked for another one."
"They're still pretty sweet," Logan mumbled.
Nick ducked in swiftly and pecked Logan on the mouth. "So are you, when you're not being a weirdo." And with that, he hoisted himself out of the pool-- all strong, tanned arms and shoulders, pool water dripping down his skin, swim trunks soaked and clinging to every inch. He turns and looks down at Logan. "Come on, Merman. Pizza's getting all cold and eaten."
Logan swallows and drops his eyes to Nick's feet. "Uh, I need a minute." He looks up with a wry grin. "I need to hang out in here for a minute longer, if you know what I mean."
Nick peers over the pool edge and down into the water. "What's wrong?" Then in a more hushed tone: "Are you growing scales?"
Logan coughs, choking on his surprise laughter. "That's not what's, uh," he shrugs, vaguely gesturing towards his dick. "Don't fucking make me say it, Jonas. I don't think you're ready for it."
Thanks to spending the day out in the sun, Logan can't tell if Nick is blushing or if he really is getting sunburned, but his face is pink and the colour spreads down to his chest. His eyes wide, Nick squats down and dips his feet back into the pool. "So, you're..."
Logan bumps his knuckles against Nick's knee. "Hey, it's like, a compliment. Don't freak out on me."
Nick nods. "I'm not! It's just, I don't know. New territory. I've never had that effect on anyone before." He's looking down at Logan thoughtfully. "At least you didn't come in your shorts from all that crazy merman-style sex. That's much worse." He holds his hands up, not sure what else to say. "I can't really help you with this."
"I'm not, you know, asking for anything, or even suggesting..." Logan twists his face up, awkward. "I just need a sec, man. You've got some skills." He shuffles closer, running a thumb along Nick's kneecap, thinking of the sweet scar he's got on his own now. He tries to focus on that memory, not of the chills Nick's touch gave him then too, but on the blood and the dirt and the pain. Anything to keep his mind off, keep his eyes off Nick's flat stomach right in front of him, and the dark trail of hair running down from Nick's navel.
Except, then he feels Nick's foot graze against his thigh under water, wiggling his toes hello, then moving slowly it across and dipping down between his legs. Logan ducks his head, biting his lip as Nick drags his foot up through the water, and teasingly along the outline of Logan's aching hard-on. "Oh, jeez. Nick, stop."
Nick freezes, and Logan immediately wishes he could take it back. He runs a hand over his eyes. "This isn't working," Logan groans. "Dammit."
"Hmm?" Nick looks over at him, still slightly dazed. "What's wrong?" He pulls his foot away completely.
"You're too god-damned good-looking, Nick. That's what's wrong."
Nick frowned, blinking a little in surprise. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear. "Me? You're basically a mythical sea-creature! Stories have been written about your kind for hundreds of years. Every story I've ever read was about how your people have this ethereal beauty that, as you said, people wreck ships and die for." He looks pointedly at Logan. "Talk about a disadvantage. You've got like, legendary hotness on your side."
"But I've never wrecked a ship," Logan protests. "I've never even caused a car accident."
"You nearly drowned me..." Nick reminds him.
"Oh, get over that already!" But Logan smiles. It's hardly something to argue over. "All I mean is that it's been terrible trying to resist you these last few weeks, and now I think it's going to get even harder."
"So you only had a semi before?" Nick deadpans, and it takes Logan a few beats to realize that Jonas McChurchy just cracked a boner joke. When it hits him a second later, he nearly doubles over in laughter and it's so unexpected that it takes Logan a solid minute to collect himself again, his snickers only petering out when he feels a rumble in his stomach reminding him of all the pizza they're not eating.
"Alright, alright. Now I'm hungry." Logan pulls himself out of the pool at last, pulling a t-shirt on and wrapping a beach towel around his waist after wringing most of the chlorinated water from his shorts. He doesn't want to be the jerk who dripped water all over the house. He needs to make an effort now.
Logan feels himself cancelling plans. Not film roles or other career stuff, but all the little plans he'd been half-making over the last few years, to take off after high school, and travel between movies and jump head-long into research and maybe getting certified as a scuba-diver until he can stupidly afford to buy his own submarine. He didn't feel the urgency like he did before, or the loneliness of hiding who he really is.
Someday he'll try to contact his people, but it isn't going to be this summer.
He didn't want to say that spending time with Nick was more important than discovering more clues about his identity, but it was certainly going to be a welcome distraction from the stress and worry. Or hell, maybe they'd take a road trip together, and Nick would go down in a submersible with him. It was crazy and dangerous, and incredibly unlikely, but unfortunately so was the idea of publicly dating a good Christian boy fresh from the House of Mouse.
Nick bumps shoulders with Logan as they walk back through the yard, but otherwise they walk separately. Joe seeing them together was enough for one day, and this was definitely a secret for them to hold onto for as long as they can.
It's okay. Logan knows a thing or two about keeping secrets.
END.