[A video feed begins transmitting, showing first the ground--sideways--followed by nothing but air for a moment as the device is moved and then finally a man. A dwarf, rather
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This thing's meant for communication. The buttons control it. Unless I miss my guess, you've got it showing your image and words to everyone in this place right about now.
As for where we are - that makes even your wildest tales look sedate. Common knowledge has it that we're in the land of the dead, playing pawns for a pair of warring powers viewed as gods.
[Varric peers into the tablet for a moment before mirroring Carver's smirk.]
Been hitting the ale a little early today, Junior? Ordinarily I'd be proud of you but this doesn't seem like the time or the place--and that's saying a lot.
Varric? [ This Hawke simply looks amused at the language the dwarf is using. And honestly he's confused about what on earth the other is talking about, but whatever it is, Hawke's certain that there's a story in there somewhere. ]
What trouble have you gotten yourself into this time? Honestly, I turn my back for five seconds...
Well, I turn my back for five seconds and trouble always finds me. [ He laughs. ]
[Ooookay, now he's being talked at through the magic...tablet...thingy by people he doesn't even know--even if this one does at least look a little familiar. In an odd sort of way.]
[...maybe he was drunk when they met. He's usually pretty good with faces but sometimes shit just happens.]
Story of my life, lately. I'd tell you about it but I'm going to need about five more drinks and my bearings before I'm willing to get into it.
Trust me, in this place that is a surprisingly easy desire to accommodate. They even have boxes in homes to keep your ale cold! Cold! Always!
It's like magic, Varric. This place is truly fascinating.
...
Just... [ A pause, and he looks darkly serious. ] Avoid the cylinder with the blades in the bottom. It whirls, and makes a lot of noise- ...and is decidedly unpleasant. [ Seriously Varric, he hates blenders. Don't ask. ]
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Varric!
[She frowns and closes her eyes] Maker, stop that-- you're making me ill.
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Aveline?
[The tablet is righted and Varric comes into view once more, staring at the image of Aveline on the screen.]
I'd say it's a relief to see you, but considering the circumstances I'm a little more confused than I am relieved.
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I felt the same when I arrived. In fact, I'm still a little confused myself.
[Pause]
Apparently we're in the Underworld.
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Mind telling me where you actually are? I'm guessing you haven't been shoved into a little magic mirror somehow. Just a guess, though.
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It's not magic - or at least not any sort of magic that's ever seen the soil of Thedas - and we're not in the Deep Roads. More's the pity.
[Paaaause.]
Chantry? Seeker? What have you got yourself caught up in, Varric?
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Oh no, we've got far more pressing issues at the moment--like where in Andraste's name I am, and what this bloody thing is.
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This thing's meant for communication. The buttons control it. Unless I miss my guess, you've got it showing your image and words to everyone in this place right about now.
As for where we are - that makes even your wildest tales look sedate. Common knowledge has it that we're in the land of the dead, playing pawns for a pair of warring powers viewed as gods.
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Hawke, if I didn't know you better I'd swear you were either three sheets to the wind or pulling my leg. Are you trying to tell me we're dead?
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Been hitting the ale a little early today, Junior? Ordinarily I'd be proud of you but this doesn't seem like the time or the place--and that's saying a lot.
How about starting at the beginning?
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[Varric then falls quiet for a long while, absorbing all of this information.]
...I caught the word "free" in all of that. Andraste's ass, I'm going to need some of that ale if any of this is going to make sense.
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What trouble have you gotten yourself into this time? Honestly, I turn my back for five seconds...
Well, I turn my back for five seconds and trouble always finds me. [ He laughs. ]
Perhaps it's catching!
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[...maybe he was drunk when they met. He's usually pretty good with faces but sometimes shit just happens.]
Story of my life, lately. I'd tell you about it but I'm going to need about five more drinks and my bearings before I'm willing to get into it.
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It's like magic, Varric. This place is truly fascinating.
...
Just... [ A pause, and he looks darkly serious. ] Avoid the cylinder with the blades in the bottom. It whirls, and makes a lot of noise- ...and is decidedly unpleasant. [ Seriously Varric, he hates blenders. Don't ask. ]
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Look, do I know you? Did we meet in the Hanged Man, maybe? You look vaguely familiar...
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Not magic, no. Some sort of advanced technology that hasn't reached Thedas.
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You too, Blondie? It's a regular party down here.
...you know, that actually made sense. Thank you.
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