(020) Twentieth Report [>>Video] lol 4thwall-baiting

[zerosuitjill]

[Jill's standing in her small kitchen at the counter, stirring a steaming mug with one hand as the other switches on the tablet, propped up against the microwave.]I think someone else already said it, but this time of year really makes you stop and think about how long you've actually been here. Then again, the holidays make you do a lot of

Comments

[albert__wesker]

Good tidings? [Now here's a familiar face. Nothing like old friends on the other end of the line for the holidays.] Jill, now. You know that you bring disaster wherever you go.

1/?

[zerosuitjill]

[for half an instant, she freezes. Completely. Enough that the cup slips from her startled fingers--]

2/?

[zerosuitjill]

[--but in the next half of an instant she reacts, quick enough to backstep and dodge the mug as it shatters on the tile as she looks at the tablet--]

3/?

[zerosuitjill]

[And goes still again, but now with tension rather than surprise.]

[grace_optional]

[Sadly] Yeah, holy doesn't carry much weight around here. And good tidings were Gabriel's department. He's been gone for a few months now.

[pixie_jenks]

Eh, everyone knows pagans have the better parties. [Oh hi, Anna. Have a pixie bopping around your head like a moth on meth. He likes redheads, he can't help it. (he's also a complete softy)] Tink's knickers, what's got you so down in the dumps?

[grace_optional]

Wha--oh. Ah... [Hello, tiny winged person who hopefully will not need to be microwaved!] ...I'm fine. I just miss my brother, that's all. You must be new in town, I haven't seen you around before.

[pixie_jenks]

[He buzzes around, finally hovering in front of her, trying not to take offense at how startled she looks. But hey - better than sad!] Lemme guess, came from a really big family. It's the same for most pixies. Big family, gets lonely when you strike out on your own.

[The little blonde pixie lands lightly on her shoulder] Name's Jenks. And yeah, no idea how in the Turn I wound up here.. can't even smell the magic.

[video]

[1_300_deadpoo]

[Suddenly, a handsome action figure appears on the screen! He is so amazing that you are practically hearing his voice as you are reading this right now!]

Hey, while you're in the kitchen, could you make me a sandwich? Haha! Get it?

[video] sldkjfsdf /DEAD FOREVER X'DDD

[zerosuitjill]

[Blank look.

She is not. Talking to a...

Oh, whatever.]

No, I don't. [Get it.]

[video]

[1_300_deadpoo]

Well, should the ceiling come down on you and you're about to become a "Jill Sandwich" and Barry isn't there with you, feel free to call 1-300-Deadpoo to reach me!

1-300-Deadpoo
Because-Deadpool-has-one-too-many-letters-seriously!-We're-not-trying-to-be-juvenile-it-just-turned-out-that-way!

[video] inner monologue shows up as readable yellow subtitles 8D

[1_300_deadpoo]

[Wow, did she really just used that joke twice? Come on, writer! That's three times including when it was used in youtube canon!]

[Voice]

[inforapound]

I don't imagine they'd hold it holy down here. Different pantheons, all of that.

[Voice]

[zerosuitjill]

I figured as much. But considering how they seem to respect different cultures, I wondered if the same applied to religions.

[video] ...i need to find more icons.

[finds_a_way]

[....wait a goddamn second here. He has no idea where he is, no idea what's going on, but one word catches his immediate attention.]

Raptors?

[video] lmao

[zerosuitjill]

[...'Sup, stranger.]

Velociraptors. You must've missed the party.

[video] |Db

[finds_a_way]

There were velociraptors here and you're still alive?

[video]

[zerosuitjill]

I've... dealt with bigger things. The raptors were a pain, but they were manageable.