(no subject)
I've been "Seeing" a girl I've known for a long time for the last few months. strong feelings both ways, but she just came out of a long time relationship, and just wants to take it easy. and that was going fine up until a few days ago. all of a sudden I felt my self getting weird. felling a little insecure. worried, that I'm gonna lose her for some reason. I dunno.
we had talked about hanging out NYE, but then tonight it came up again. she said she might go out with her girlfriends NYE, but she'll let me know. then told me she didn't want me to feel like I was a last resort for her. k well now that you've said something I might :S why can't she invite me? I get the feeling she hasn't told anyone about us. where as with me... I've told my friends about her, and a lot of them have met her. when we're together it feels good. I dunno, I'm just really confused I think. I think I'm probably over reacting. we did agree to take this slow, and I think perhaps I'm subconsciously pushing it a little to fast. even though she's probably just as guilty. I mean if I didn't know better I'd say we were dating. we hang out a lot, we're sleeping together... not really "taking it slow" things.
I have no reason not to trust her. in fact in my life I think she's the only one that was always ever completely honest with me. but who knows, that was almost 10 years ago. she's grown up, she could have changed. but I don't think she has. dispite the growth, she is still the same sweet girl I knew. I guess I've just liked her for so long, that I'm worried about losing her again. I think it's just me freaking myself out.
I just want us to happen so bad, I'm getting to attached. perhaps I should distance my self from her a little. this way if my worst fears happen, it won't hurt so bad. I hate this. what's happened to me. :(
we had talked about hanging out NYE, but then tonight it came up again. she said she might go out with her girlfriends NYE, but she'll let me know. then told me she didn't want me to feel like I was a last resort for her. k well now that you've said something I might :S why can't she invite me? I get the feeling she hasn't told anyone about us. where as with me... I've told my friends about her, and a lot of them have met her. when we're together it feels good. I dunno, I'm just really confused I think. I think I'm probably over reacting. we did agree to take this slow, and I think perhaps I'm subconsciously pushing it a little to fast. even though she's probably just as guilty. I mean if I didn't know better I'd say we were dating. we hang out a lot, we're sleeping together... not really "taking it slow" things.
I have no reason not to trust her. in fact in my life I think she's the only one that was always ever completely honest with me. but who knows, that was almost 10 years ago. she's grown up, she could have changed. but I don't think she has. dispite the growth, she is still the same sweet girl I knew. I guess I've just liked her for so long, that I'm worried about losing her again. I think it's just me freaking myself out.
I just want us to happen so bad, I'm getting to attached. perhaps I should distance my self from her a little. this way if my worst fears happen, it won't hurt so bad. I hate this. what's happened to me. :(