Circle (9)

[oatmeal_peril]

Circle
Pairing(s): HaeHyuk, HyukMin
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Incest, sex, character death, disturbing themes, gender switch (Sungmin), horror, graphic gore, reference to under age sex etc.

Summary: Donghae does everything to protect and care for his twin brother, Hyukjae. No one comes between them. No one.
A life full of lies and deceit and an unconditional love that borders on dangerous; Donghae and Hyukjae are always running away from their dark past, but how long can the twins keep running for?



Donghae was asleep beside Hyukjae. He was lying on his back, his closed eyelids were dark, his slightly parted lips were crimson and chapped. They were dry when Hyukjae leant across to kiss him. Donghae stirred but didn't wake as Hyukjae pulled away. The bedroom was hot but Hyukjae shivered regardless. He heard it then, a scratching sound. The house was silent and still, although the bedroom window was open, there was no breeze, no noise from outside. The silence was eerie and it only amplified the sound of scratching.
Hyukjae felt his heart quicken. But it was probably nothing, perhaps a cat outside or even a rat or mouse. Nothing he told himself and he lay back down beside his brother, curling into his side like always but Donghae sighed and turned away.
The scratching persisted, louder now. It wasn't outside, it couldn't be, it was too loud, far too loud. He found himself getting out of bed, the floorboards creaked a little as he padded slowly downstairs. Maybe he was imagining it because when he stood in the living room, he couldn't hear anything. Everything was scarier when it was dark. Then he heard it again, scraping, fast and desperate. His eyes fixed on where it was coming from; the basement door. It hadn't been opened since the day they took him to the mountains to bury him; it hadn't been opened since the day that Donghae had forced him inside and locked the door behind him until he had removed the feet like he was supposed to.

The blood was pounding louder in his ears now more than ever, he could actually feel it behind his eyes and he could smell it again: flesh. Rotting flesh that made his eyes water, made him gag and retch.
His fingertips rested on the door handle. He shook. The scratching had stopped again momentarily and when it started, he could hear something else. A voice. No, it couldn't be... It couldn't. The pounding in his ears had been replaced by a deafening thumping. Before he knew it, he had wrenched the door open.
He opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out. He was paralysed through sheer terror.
It was Jongwoon, he knew it was Jongwoon though it didn't look like him. He'd crawled from the basement floor, to the stairs leaving a bloody trail behind him. His hands were crimson, nails worn to nothing, fingers worn to the bone where he'd clawed at the door. The sockets of his eyes were raw and rotten, nothing more than bloody gaping holes in his skull as he looked up at Hyukjae: Hyukjae knew that Jongwoon was looking at him.
Now, he crawled towards Hyukjae, using his elbows, his useless legs slowing him down. He hissed at Hyukjae, grabbing at his ankles, “Sungmin will hate you for this. She'll hate you for everything. Did you ever think that she could love you?”
He felt arms reaching around him, from behind him, restricting him so he couldn't struggle.
“You're a monster. You've created a living hell for yourself and your freak brother.”
The arms around him tightened. The more he tried to scream, the more he couldn't, the tighter the arms got.

“Hyukjae!”
His eyes snapped open. He was panting. Donghae was over him, holding him. He looked worried. “You were screaming.” Donghae told him.
“Jongwoon...” Hyukjae breathed, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.
“It was a dream. It's okay.” Donghae said gently.
It was morning, the bedroom was light. The window was open and Hyukjae could smell fresh rainfall from outside. A breeze kissed Hyukjae's bare back and he shivered as he reached up to wrap his arms around his brother.
Donghae smelled like alcohol. Usually Hyukjae hated it, he hated it when Donghae crawled into bed beside him, long after he had slipped into an uneasy sleep, smelling like alcohol but now he found it comforting. He nuzzled into Donghae, Donghae was cold too.
“It's just a dream.” Donghae told him, his tone hushed as he cradled Hyukjae. “You have to go to work soon, why don't I make breakfast while you shower?”
Hyukjae nodded. He was shaking when he got out of bed, Donghae stood up too, still looking concerned. He leaned in and kissed his brother.
“It's okay.” Donghae reassured him. Hyukjae wondered how he was suddenly so calm and sure again.

The TV was on when Hyukjae went downstairs: “Police are still investigating the gruesome discovery of human remains in the mountains several days ago. As of yet, it has not even been determined whether the victim is male or female. The body is being examined by forensic anthropologists who should be able to provide us with more information soon...”

“I've been thinking about moving away.” Hyukjae said as he sat down at the kitchen table. Donghae sat down too, he'd made French toast for both of them.
“You still want to do that?”
Hyukjae nodded solemnly. When his eyes met his brother's, they were hard and serious. “We have to go, Donghae. There's no reason for us to stay here any more.”
“You sound so certain, Hyuk.”
“I am.” He replied.
Donghae's lips twitched into a weak smile. “Okay. Then I want to move too.”
“Good. I've been looking up places as far away from here as possible. I thought Jeju.”
“Hyukjae...”
“There's nothing here for us.” Hyukjae said, picking at his toast. “I want to start again. Properly.”

“Thinking of going on vacation?” Tiffany asked from behind Hyukjae making him start. He quickly closed the window on his computer. “Oh... Yeah, kinda.” He replied.
Tiffany smiled toothily at him. “Are you going with your girlfriend?”
“N-no.” He stammered in reply. “I don't have a girlfriend... I'm going with my brother.”
“Oh.” Tiffany said but she was still smiling at him, “well if you change your mind, I'm always available.”
“You're going on vacation?”
Hyukjae started again. Kyuhyun was lingering in the doorway. Tiffany had returned to her side of the office.
“Maybe. What are you doing up here anyway?” Hyukjae asked, keen to change the subject.
“I wanted to see you, hyung. I want to ask you something.”
Hyukjae could see Tiffany still staring over at them. “Why don't you ask me over lunch, it must be time to take a break.” He said hastily, wanting to get Kyuhyun away from everyone else and out of earshot of them. His palms were clammy when they got outside. He was afraid of what Kyuhyun might ask. He had been imagining him asking him all manner of things ever since the younger confessed to having seen Jongwoon the day he came to visit Hyukjae.
Kyuhyun's cheeks were flushed when they got outside the office. “Hyung-” he said but Hyukjae was walking away from the office so quickly that Kyuhyun struggled to keep up. He couldn't have Kyuhyun say anything where anyone they might know would hear them.
“Hyung, what's the rush?” Kyuhyun asked breathlessly.
He didn't speak until they reached the park. “What did you want to ask me?” Hyukjae asked him.
“Oh,” Kyuhyun caught his breath before continuing, “I wanted to ask you to dinner.” Hyukjae raised his eyebrows and Kyuhyun's flush deepened. He waved his hands in denial, “no! Not like that at all, hyung. I was thinking that we, you, Sungmin and me, should have dinner. Especially as Sungmin's so upset lately about Jongwoon.”
“Still?” Hyukjae said quietly.
“Of course... He hasn't contacted her at all. That's why I thought dinner would be a good idea. I was thinking I might even tell her that I saw him that day-”
“No!” Hyukjae said sharply.
Kyuhyun started. His eyes were wide and he looked taken aback. “Hyung?”
“You shouldn't tell her,” Hyukjae said, his eyes fixed on Kyuhyun's, unwavering. “It'll only upset her even more. I'd be upset if I found out my brother had come to where I live and didn't even bother to come and see me. Jongwoon sounds like a jerk, Sungmin doesn't need the hassle. Okay?”
Kyuhyun bit his lip.
“Kyuhyun-ah! Okay? I really don't want you to say anything about Jongwoon to her.”
Kyuhyun nodded hesitantly, his eyes still wide.
“I'm sorry, Kyuhyun, I didn't mean to shout... It's just... I've not been feeling myself lately.”
“It's okay.” Kyuhyun stammered, “I should have realised that telling her about Jongwoon would be a bad idea.”

Hyukjae's eyes remained fixed on Kyuhyun who had looked away bashfully. This was bad. Not as bad as what Hyukjae had been imagining but still bad. Luckily, Kyuhyun was socially inept and couldn't make decisions by himself. Hyukjae knew that Kyuhyun didn't understand how valuable the information he was sitting on was... If only Hyukjae could make Kyuhyun forget what he knew. But he couldn't and he knew no other way.

“I'm sorry, Kyuhyun.” Hyukjae repeated, “why don't you and I have dinner?”
Kyuhyun looked even more taken aback at this. “H-hyung... What about Sungmin..?”
Hyukjae looked away before he answered, “well, I like you. I like you more than I like Sungmin... I want to spend more time with you.”
“R-really?”
“I like spending time with you. Don't you like spending time with me?”
“Of course!” Kyuhyun blurted out, his eyes shone with excitement. “I... I'll cook for you.”
“No!” Hyukjae said sounding harsh. Donghae was the more outwardly sexual of the two, Hyukjae always felt awkward but that didn't mean that Hyukjae couldn't do exactly what Donghae did just as well as him. When he spoke again, his voice was soft and husky. “No. I want you to come to my house.”
Kyuhyun didn't know what to say. He just nodded enthusiastically. It wasn't like him to pass up a free meal, or Hyukjae.

----

Donghae had been half asleep. His skin was cold and his stomach was restless. He felt sick. Hyukjae's skin felt hot against Donghae's. Hyukjae hadn't been sleeping well lately, he'd would toss and turn, he'd moan and jerk awake, gasping and panting. Donghae would hold Hyukjae close to stop him shaking.
When he asked Hyukjae what he dreamed of, his brother would always reply with “I don't remember,” and smile breezily. Hyukjae always remembered his dreams, Donghae knew that. When they lived in their old apartment, the one after Chanyeol but before this house, Hyukjae would smile at Donghae when he woke up and tell him all about his dream before they got out of bed. He'd tell Donghae that dreams meant things and that you should never ignore them.
Donghae would smile and agree, he'd kiss Hyukjae on the forehead but never tell him what he had dreamt. Somehow, he didn't like to think that dreams of Heechul's dead eyes staring at him in the darkness of a room that Donghae couldn't find his way out of meant something.

Donghae knew why Hyukjae wasn't telling him his dreams any more. He had heard Hyukjae mumble her name in his sleep, mumble it as he rolled over, away from his brother. Donghae had felt his stomach churn and for a moment, he thought he was going to vomit.
Half of him felt repulsed. He wanted to get out of bed, to confront him, to slap him - to hurt him. But he restrained himself, remembering how out of control he could get, how easy it would be for him to kill Hyukjae if he wanted to, if Hyukjae hurt him enough. Would it be Hyukjae's fault or his own?
The other half of him wanted to fuck Hyukjae. He wanted to fuck Hyukjae senseless. He wanted to pound his twin's body into the mattress of their bed until Hyukjae cried and bled, until he begged Donghae to stop. He wanted Hyukjae to call his name and only his name. He wanted to reclaim his brother as his own. But he knew he couldn't.

That bitch! That whore! He'd kill her. The only reason he hadn't killed her before was because of Hyukjae but if he was so set on moving again then it wouldn't matter if Donghae killed her right? It wasn't like Hyukjae was going to see her again anyway. What Hyukjae didn't know, couldn't hurt him.

Hyukjae smiled weakly at his brother when he returned home. Donghae didn't return the smile. He couldn't keep up this pretence that he was okay. He loved Hyukjae. Fuck! He loved Hyukjae but this...
He could tell himself that it was just a dream and Hyukjae couldn't help who he saw when he closed his eyes... But that didn't make Donghae any less angry.
The heat only intensified the anger. It was uncomfortable. It was hot after the night's rainfall, almost unbearably so. Donghae had spent most of the day too tired to move, the cool breeze of the morning had been consumed by humidity. He had lain on the bed for a majority of the morning, unable to shift images of Hyukjae and Sungmin together from his mind. He could see them even with his eyes open; together, Hyukjae kissing her, kissing her all over like he did with Donghae. He could see Hyukjae pushing into her, gasping her name, the look of prolonged pleasure on his face as he gripped her thighs, keeping them open while she lay beneath him, trembling and moaning. Moaning his name as if he was hers. Donghae had sat up, clamping his hands over his ears as if he could somehow block out his own thoughts but he couldn't.
He'd kill her. He'd kill her. He'd kill her. He chanted it over and over until he couldn't hear her any more.
A more sickening thought had crossed his mind. What if Hyukjae had lied. What if he had fucked her. What if he had fucked her since their argument and that was the reason he had wanted to top, to make Donghae submissive like that slut. What if this new start wasn't with him at all, what if Hyukjae wanted to start again with Sungmin?
No. Where would be the sense in telling Donghae his plan to move on be? Hyukjae wasn't brave enough to do things that way. If he planned to start again with Sungmin, he'd have ran away with her without telling anyone.

He was in the shower when Hyukjae came home from work. Donghae was somehow hoping that a shower would cleanse him from these thoughts but if anything, watching the water swirl down the drain like he'd watched Jongwoon's blood before it, it was making him despair even more. He felt like he was spiralling too. Everything had been in control, even days before he felt like he was in control, flirting with that detective and now he felt powerless. Powerless but with only one way to regain that power.
But what if Donghae was tired now? What if he couldn't bring himself to do it again? Not even for his brother and himself.
Donghae wondered whether people can be cursed or were they just unlucky? Victims of the world's cruel circumstances. Why had death always followed them? But it wasn't that death had followed them, was it? It was him. He had brought death to them because he couldn't control himself. His decision to kill to protect was flawed because now he felt remorse. But, perhaps he only felt remorse because he was doubtful of Hyukjae's faithfulness to him. If he removed Sungmin, he could be sure that Hyukjae was faithful to him and only to him, that way, the balance would be restored. Sungmin was no different than Jongwoon, Hyukjae just didn't seem to understand that. There was no point explaining it to him, Donghae had to take direct action. One day, Hyukjae would thank him for it.

He heard the bathroom door open.
“Donghae..?”
Donghae didn't reply. He stood under the shower, breathing heavily. It felt like he would never calm down, not until he had taken care of Sungmin. She was the only thing left that stood between Hyukjae and himself. She was the only thing that stood between them and a happy ending, the
happy ending that he had wished for ever since they were children.
Hyukjae was getting undressed in the bedroom when Donghae went in. “Are you okay?” He asked. He took his work shirt off, it was sodden with sweat at the back and under the armpits.
Donghae sighed, unable to resist. His eyes devoured his brother's naked torso, still as pale and delicate as ever.
“Donghae, are you okay?” Hyukjae asked again and went to Donghae. He went to take Donghae's hand but Donghae snatched it away. Hyukjae looked hurt and confused.
“I'm sorry,” Donghae muttered, “I'm just hot.”
Hyukjae nodded in understanding but the look in his eyes didn't go away. Donghae felt bad instantly and pulled his brother towards him, kissing him roughly on the mouth. The angrier Donghae got, the more he wanted Hyukjae. He could smell and taste the sweat on him. It tasted good.
“Donghae, I know something's wrong.”
When Donghae pulled away from Hyukjae he glared at him. He felt like he was going to burst with rage or betrayal if he didn't say something but Hyukjae already looked so upset... He shook his head and put his clothes on ready for work. Hyukjae watched him.
“Why do you say her name when you sleep?” Donghae asked finally.
“W-what?”
“Sungmin.” Donghae could hardly bring himself to say her name.
Hyukjae shook his head, “we've been over this.”
“Is that why you wanted to fuck me like that?” Donghae asked, ignoring his brother, a new sort of anger surfacing now he was actually saying the words that had been chasing themselves around his head for days.
Hyukjae shook his head again. “We're not having this conversation, Donghae.” Hyukjae told him and he went to leave the room.
“No!” Donghae barked, grabbing Hyukjae's shoulder and pulling him back. Hyukjae yelped in surprise and pain but when he turned to look back at Donghae, Donghae's eyes were large. He looked frightened. “Tell me you love me.” He said urgently.
“Donghae...”
“Please. I need to know. Please, Hyukjae.”
“You already know.”
“I need to hear it.”

Hyukjae sighed. His eyes stared back into his brother's. “I love you, Donghae. I love you so much... That's why we're moving away, to give us a real chance, away from all of this and everything that we've done. I love you.”
Donghae swallowed. His eyes were sad. Why was it always like this? He could never stay mad for long, not when Hyukjae was there, looking at him in only the way Hyukjae could.
In that moment, he remembered why he was going to do what he was going to do. He shouldn't have been having those thoughts of Hyukjae and Sungmin together. He should have been thinking about his new life with Hyukjae, the one they had always wanted. Those other thoughts had taken him over and prevented him from considering any sort of possibility that would be open to them once they were free of everything that had happened before. But he knew that he wouldn't be able to truly focus on that. Not until Sungmin was gone.