Circle (8)

[oatmeal_peril]

Circle
Pairing(s): HaeHyuk, HyukMin
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Incest, sex, character death, disturbing themes, gender switch (Sungmin), horror, graphic gore, reference to under age sex etc.

Summary: Donghae does everything to protect and care for his twin brother, Hyukjae. No one comes between them. No one.
A life full of lies and deceit and an unconditional love that borders on dangerous; Donghae and Hyukjae are always running away from their dark past, but how long can the twins keep running for?



People are scared of the city at night but Donghae liked it. The air was cooler and it made it easier for him to think. He didn't usually smoke these days but he found that that helped him think too. The city at night felt calm; there were no cars, no people, no noise.
Donghae remembered when they were in the children’s home and wanted privacy to be together. After the incident with Sunny, they were more careful with where and when they did this.
The children’s home was removed from the city, the thinking behind it that the children from more troubled backgrounds might become more subdued if they lived in a more rural setting; the truth was that they became more frustrated. Donghae and Hyukjae would plan their life in the city that they could see from their bedroom window, beyond the fields. Some nights, they would climb out of the window, dropping down onto the roof of a small stone building where bikes and garden tools were stored and then into the garden. They’d jump the fence and run together, barefoot over the grass of the fields towards the city beyond. Sometimes they wouldn’t reach the city, they’d stop and lie in the grass together, holding hands and staring at the stars. Sometimes Hyukjae would sit astride Donghae and they’d fuck: gasping and laughing, rolling through the grass together. Donghae remembered Hyukjae’s face close to his, grinning and panting, both of them not caring how loud they called out as they groped beneath clothes and pressed kisses to each other’s bodies. Donghae remembered pulling Hyukjae’s jeans down just enough for him to push inside his brother. He remembered the mud on Hyukjae’s palms and the grass stains on his knees that the aunt at the children’s home would complain about when she did the laundry.
The city at night reminded him of how Hyukjae used to smile.

“You're not really a good advert for health, are you?” Han Geng asked.
He made Donghae start.
“Smoking outside of a hospital isn't a good look.”
“Oh. Right.” Donghae said. He continued smoking regardless. He leant against the wall and did his best to avoid eye contact with Han Geng. He saw Han Geng frown out of the corner of his eye, the light blue scubs made his skin look even darker and more tantalising than usual but although they had fumbled in the bathroom several months ago, he had never really wanted to do it again.
Han Geng took the cigarette from Donghae's lips and took a drag before stubbing it out on the wall behind Donghae. He kept his hand there and leant close to him.
“Have you thought more about my offer for dinner?”
Donghae raised an eyebrow. He supposed that fumble was the reason Han Geng had been chasing him. Han Geng was attractive, he was toned and lightly muscled but sometimes, people are just curious, after they try something once, they never want to try it again. Donghae had thought that Han Geng had felt the same when it came to that but it seemed that he was wrong.
“Donghae... Please, forgive me for saying this but you really don't seem yourself.”
Donghae's eyes narrowed and he moved back from Han Geng. How dare Han Geng make such a statement! They hardly saw each other at work, Han Geng knew next to nothing about him! They’d fucked once and now Han Geng was acting like they knew each other! Han Geng didn't know him at all!
“If there's anything I can do for you-”
“I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention anything to anyone about me smoking.” Donghae said coldly. “I have to get back to work.

He'd admitted to himself that the house was driving him crazy. He stared at walls all day until he had fought with Hyukjae after which he had began to stare at his hands in disbelief. The question kept reverberating around his head like a whisper in a cave. Would he really have killed Hyukjae? Did he mean it or had he just been angry; he had done things in the heat of the moment before but always with the intention to protect his brother. Was there somewhere in his head where he thought that the best protection he could give his brother was to make sure that it was impossible for anyone to hurt Hyukjae again. But putting someone six feet under wasn't always the solution, look what had happened to Jongwoon. Donghae had silenced him but it hadn't been enough, the police had found him. Was it only a matter of time before they found out what had happened?
Donghae found it strange that, in this day, where society was obsessed, however morbidly it may be, with crime that the discovery of real crime was still so shocking. How was it that no one had become desensitised to it? Even he wasn’t desensitised to it, not really.

There was one more, one more Hyukjae didn't know about. One more pair of eyes staring at Donghae in the darkness of the bedroom when he tried to sleep at night. One more skeleton in his closet. Park Chanyeol.

They were nineteen when they moved into their own place, legally adults and no longer bound by the care system. They were young, not much younger than now but it seemed that way; they were excited, like two caged birds finally allowed to spread their wings and fly freely. They bought an ostentatious apartment that they could hardly afford in central Seoul, both of them working long hours just to keep up with the rent and utilities but it was worth it. To Donghae, it was worth seeing the happiness in his brother's eyes. Donghae had been so tired but he'd never been so happy. It felt like their whole childhood, they had been imprisoned and now they were free to be who they really were, without shame or fear. He had thought that the days where he resorted to murder to silence others and protect them from the outside world were over. Liberation tasted good.

But they were young. They were reckless. The walls were thin and they were careless.
Chanyeol lived in the apartment next door. He had introduced himself the day after Donghae and Hyukjae had moved in. He had hard eyes but they sparkled a little when he looked at the twins; Donghae didn’t like it. Chanyeol was arrogant; he boasted about coming second in a nationwide modelling competition and how he had been signed by an agency. Unlike most people, he could tell the twins apart and had an obvious eye for Donghae who he invited to parties that his agency got him into. Donghae always declined, he didn’t like Chanyeol, he had grown to be wary of outsiders and could tell when someone was bad. He didn’t like the way Chanyeol looked at him, sometimes they would pass each other in the corridor or end up taking the lift together and he could feel Chanyeol’s eyes burning into him. He’d ask Donghae about his love life, he’d ask Donghae out for drinks or invite him into his apartment but Donghae would always tell him that he was busy. Chanyeol would pout playfully and say that he wouldn’t give up until Donghae said yes.

One day, Hyukjae had fallen asleep on the sofa and Donghae had gone up to the roof of the apartment where he smoked. he had been smoking ever since he was sixteen; Hyukjae had only ever caught him smoking once and had cried because their grandfather had died of lung cancer when they were still very young. Donghae had told Hyukjae that he’d never smoke again but some habits were just too hard to break.
Donghae had been alone. He liked looking out over the city, the view was like a reward for everything that had happened before. He could almost forget everything that had happened in their childhood and perhaps now that they were legally considered adults, it would be like starting again - turning a new page in a book or starting a new book altogether!
Donghae went to start another cigarette, fiddling with his lighter when a voice from behind him made him start.
“Do you need a light?” For a sickening moment, he thought that it was Hyukjae but when he turned around he saw that it was Chanyeol. He felt relieved but annoyed at the same time. Chanyeol smiled seductively at Donghae and held out his lighter.
Donghae shrugged. “I’m trying to quit.”
Chanyeol’s smile turned into a smirk. “You come up here almost every day to smoke. I know, I watch you.”
Donghae raised his eyebrow, “kinky,” he murmured and he put the cigarette between his lips and leant forwards to let Chanyeol light his cigarette.
Chanyeol leant his back against the cold, chrome railing that ran the perimeter of the rooftop to face Donghae. He watched the older take his first drag on the cigarette, inhaling deeply. Chanyeol’s smirk darkened. “I'm not the kinky one though, am I, hyung?”
Donghae put his head to one side. “What do you mean?” He asked, exhaling thick smoke.
“Everyone's got their kink. You shouldn't be ashamed... But... Perhaps you're a special case.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.” Donghae said calmly but his insides were raging. He didn't look at Chanyeol, afraid of what he would see in the other's eyes.
“The walls are thin, hyung.” Chanyeol purred, moving closer to Donghae, “I can hear your brother moaning your name most nights. He's very vocal, you must be very talented in bed.”
Donghae felt his grip on the cigarette tighten until he had crushed it in his fist. His jaw twitched and he looked at Chanyeol. “You don't know what you're talking about.” He spat.
He hated the smirk on Chanyeol's face, it was smug and insolent. Chanyeol was much younger than him, insolence at that age was sickening.
“Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me... On one condition. You take a break from doing your brother and make me moan like that instead.”
It was like Donghae had short circuited and before he knew it, he had grabbed Chanyeol by the collar, the other hand gripping Chanyeol’s arm, twisting it behind his back until he felt it snap. He pushed Chanyeol until his back formed a perfect arch over the safety rail, one push away from falling to his death. Chanyeol had yelped in surprise, his lighter flying out of his hand, falling over twenty stories to the road below. To Donghae’s bewilderment, Chanyeol started to laugh.
“Shut up!” Donghae hissed into Chanyeol’s ear, his chest pressed flush against Chanyeol’s back, pressuring the younger’s injured arm, hoping that the pain would stop him laughing but it didn’t. “Shut the fuck up!”
Chanyeol’s laugh bordered on insane and Donghae wondered for a split second which one of them was the craziest.
“Don’t think I wouldn’t do it.” Donghae snarled.
“Go on then!” Chanyeol dared him. He cackled when Donghae wrenched him back from the edge and threw him to the ground hard so that he landed on his hands and knees. Chanyeol’s arms crumbled beneath him. He was panting when he looked back up at Donghae, his eyes glimmering with excitement. “What’s wrong, hyung?” He asked, grinning wildly, “I thought you were dominant!” He got shakily to his feet, unable to support his weight with his right arm as he did so. His palms were bloody where they had absorbed the impact of Donghae pushing him to the ground but he didn’t seem to be in pain. “Or is it just that your brother’s a bitch?”

Chanyeol found himself being slammed against the wall this time. He couldn’t hide his discomfort as his arm hung limply by his side, probably broken.
“You listen to me and you listen good,” Donghae growled, “you don’t say a word about this, about any of this to anyone! Do you understand?”
“We can keep it our little secret, Donghae.” Chanyeol breathed, their faces so close that their lips were almost touching. Chanyeol was still panting, his cheeks were flushed. “It’s sexier that way, don’t you think?”
Donghae slammed Chanyeol against the wall again. Chanyeol cried out when hit his head. “Shut up!” Donghae shouted. The thought of him with someone as conceited as Chanyeol made him feel sick, he hated the idea of someone else’s hands on him and he especially hated the idea that Chanyeol had been listening to Hyukjae and himself in their most intimate of moments - those times weren’t for anyone else but themselves. Donghae wouldn’t be blackmailed like this, not by someone as disgusting as Chanyeol.
Chanyeol’s eyes had lost focus but he was still smiling.
“If you tell anyone, I swear I will fucking kill you.”
Perhaps it was then that Chanyeol saw it, something in Donghae’s eyes that told him that this wasn’t a game, nor was it any sort of foreplay: this was Donghae, this was who he really was. He looked frightened all of a sudden. He looked like a child. Donghae was reminded of Heechul. Heechul’s large eyes had met his under the day he died. Donghae’s hands had wrapped around his cousin’s throat until the older had stopped thrashing in his grip. Donghae had seen the light in Heechul’s eyes go out even before he hit his head on the hard marble of the floor of the pool.
Part of him wanted to see the light in Chanyeol’s eyes go out too. This though scared him, not as much as the idea of Chanyeol telling people and the pair being split up... To be ostracized was one thing because they’d always have each other but the fear lay in the pair being separated. When they had first been put into the children’s home, a family had tried to adopt them. It had been a man and woman, a pair of do-gooders who couldn’t have children themselves and had dedicated themselves to taking in older children who needed loving homes. What they didn’t understand was that Donghae and Hyukjae needed no one but each other. Donghae had been sent back within the first month because he was unruly, headstrong and difficult to control. Hyukjae returned a week later after verbally abusing the couple and destroying his bedroom, threatening to set the bed on fire if they didn’t send him back.
That week had felt like an eternity. He was lost without Hyukjae, the bed felt cold without him, his heart felt empty without him.
Remembering that feeling was what had made him hit Chanyeol’s head against the wall. Remembering the light go out in Heechul’s eyes was what made Donghae let go of him. Chanyeol slid to the floor, blood smeared on the wall like something out of a horror movie. He stared up at Donghae, lips pale when he said, “I... I wouldn’t have said anything.”

Donghae remembered the cold wind that had whipped around him as he stared back at Chanyeol. He wasn’t sure whether he was just unconscious or whether he had died. Either way, it wasn’t wise for him to stand around, there was probably security cameras on the roof; someone was bound to have monitered everything that had happened. He ran downstairs and burst into the apartment making Hyukjae start awake.
“You need to pack your things!” He had said breathlessly.
“W-what?” Hyukjae replied sleepily.
“Do it, Hyuk! We have to get out of here! Now!”
Hyukjae followed Donghae into the bedroom where he began feverishly stuffing things into a backpack.
“Donghae! Calm down! What’s going on?”
“We need to get out of here!” Donghae had grabbed Hyukjae’s forearms and looked into his eyes, “just d what I’m saying, please.”
“Did... Did something happen?” Hyukjae asked, his voice hushed as if they were being listened in on.
Donghae didn’t answer. He knew that Hyukjae was reminded of that day at the pool but he couldn’t tell him that he’d done it again, he just couldn’t!
“Please.” Donghae repeated, eyes staring helplessly into his brother’s who looked just as scared as Donghae felt.
“Okay.”

---

Neither of them were sleeping. The bedroom window was open, Hyukjae had been staring out of it most of the night. They were both lying on their backs in the dark, almost as if the other weren't there.
“When are we going to talk about the fact that they've found his body?” Hyukjae asked into the darkness. Donghae didn't reply. “You're not asleep.” Hyukjae said, “don't ignore me.”
Donghae's voice was low and throaty. He hadn't spoken to Hyukjae since he got home, even though Hyukjae had been awake and greeted his brother when he got into bed.
“What do you want me to say?” He asked. “They found him. It's my fault for not digging deep enough. But it doesn't matter, he's unrecognisable, by they time they connect him with Jongwoon... If they connect it with him you'd be the last person on their mind.”
“We.” Hyukjae whispered. “We'd be the last people on their mind.”
“That's what I meant.”
Hyukjae's hands felt beneath the sheets, searching for Donghae's, when he found it, Donghae's fingers clasped around his own tightly.
“Donghae... Are you afraid?”
His grip loosened a little. “I...”
“You don't need to be ashamed and you don't need to lie to me.”
There was a horrible silence. “Everything's a mess and it's all my fault.” Donghae said after a long pause.
“No it's not.” Hyukjae replied. “No one will recognise Jongwoon. We'll be fine. We always are.” He tried to nuzzle Donghae's neck but the other moved his head, facing away from his brother.
“I don't mean Jongwoon. It's not just Jongwoon, is it? Out whole life..!” Donghae's voice cracked and Hyukjae felt him tremble.
“Donghae...”
“All I've ever done is hurt people and cause problems. There's nothing I can do about it, it's like I'm just waiting for it to happen again and again..!”
“Donghae! Don't talk like that!”
“It's true, Hyukjae. I'm nothing more than a murderer! I should be in prison.”

Donghae sat up, pulling his hands away from Hyukjae's.
“Donghae-”
“It's true, Hyukjae. I should pay for what I've done.”
Hyukjae was shaking his head, he had never seen his brother like this before. It was strange that he had never really thought of Donghae as having a conscious. Maybe it was because Donghae didn't go to church or believe in God that he sometimes forgot that Donghae would be afraid - maybe he wouldn't be scared of the fate that awaited him when the time came, but he'd be scared of what was to come in the future.
“I need to be strong for you, Hyukjae.” Donghae said quietly after another long pause. He had his back to Hyukjae ask he spoke. “I need to protect you.”
“No. No you don't.”
“You don't understand!” Donghae said heatedly. Hyukjae watched as his brother rose from the bed. He watched Donghae's silhouette cross the room, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “You don't understand...” He repeated.
Hyukjae swung his legs out of bed, they looked milky in the moonlight, and went to his brother. He caught Donghae's face in his hands; Donghae's eyes glistened as they looked back at Hyukjae in the darkness of their bedroom. Hyukjae moved closer to Donghae and kissed his lips tenderly. “You don't need to be strong for me,” he said gently, “we're not children any more.”
Donghae shook his head. Hyukjae saw Donghae's pale throat move as he tried to swallow his tears but they slid out of the corner of his eyes.
Hyukjae felt his chest tighten. He reached for Donghae's hands and squeezed them, “I love you.”
Before he knew it, Donghae had pulled him closer and held onto him in a manner that startled Hyukjae. It was always the other way around. Hyukjae wound his arms around his twin, holding him in the vain hope that it would stop him shaking.
“I screwed up,” Donghae was saying, “I can't fix this one, Hyuk. I can't protect you.”
Hyukjae ran his hands through Donghae's hair before saying, “then let me protect you this time.” It felt good saying it.
What felt better was pressing his lips to Donghae's again and kissing forcefully, enough to silence Donghae and stop his tears.
“I've been thinking,” Hyukjae said between kisses, “we should start again.”
“You mean move away again?” Donghae asked breathlessly. “But this was third time lucky.”
Technically it was the forth time but they hadn't counted the move from their parent's home as a new start. Hyukjae dared not tell Donghae that he thought that they would never be lucky, even if they lived to be one hundred.
“We can't keep running.” Donghae said, his voice muffled, face buried in the crook of Hyukjae's neck while Hyukjae kissed and sucked at the skin between Donghae's neck and shoulder. Hyukjae's hands ran the expanse of Donghae's back, fingernails lightly digging in to make Donghae shiver again, but this time in the good way. “We can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this. How many more people will get hurt before I stop?!”
Hyukjae pulled away from Donghae, his lips pink and wet. “I've looked at places online. Jeju Island. It looks pretty. I thought we could get new names this time: really start again.”
Donghae hesitated. “Won't it look suspicious If we both just disappear?”
Hyukjae shrugged, “we'll be long gone before anyone even realises why we're gone at all.” He didn't know where he had suddenly found the courage to speak with such certainty to Donghae.
“Hyuk...”
Hyukjae kissed Donghae again, this time on the side of his mouth. “Trust me.” He whispered to Donghae.
Donghae wanted to. He wanted to believe that Hyukjae could protect him, just for once.
“Trust me,” Hyukjae repeated, pressing kisses to Donghae's throat until he felt his twin tremble. He shuddered and succumbed. Hyukjae pressed himself to Donghae, pushing him back to the bedroom wall where he kissed more heatedly. He could feel Donghae's cock rubbing against his thigh as he rhythmically moved against him. He knew that Donghae's heart had quickened its pace. He felt Donghae run his fingers through his hair and take a deep intake of breath.
“I love you.” Donghae whispered, he repeated it, kissing Hyukjae's shoulder, biting and sucking painfully. It made Hyukjae moan and made his dick twitch.
Hyukjae reached down and pressed his palm to the front of Donghae's boxer shorts so that Donghae gasped and his eyes now glimmered with excitement and not tears.
“Hyukjae-”
“Shh.” Hyukjae said softly.
“But... About moving away. Would you really be okay with it? You have friends here and a job...”
Hyukjae guided Donghae's hands to the front of his own boxer shorts. He purred with pleasure when Donghae's fingers traced the outline of his cock. Donghae felt it move. Hyukjae didn't blush, he just smiled. “It's not like you to worry. It's just us now.” Hyukjae said. “It's always just us, right?”
He kissed Donghae again, silencing him again. He guided the kiss, slow then fast, tongues together then not.
Donghae felt Hyukjae tease his dick through the material of his boxers and he moaned into the kiss. Hyukjae grinned, continuing to kiss, his eyes closed when Donghae's were opened and Donghae was reminded of those nights they spent outside in the field making love like they were the only people in the world and nothing else mattered.

Clothes were removed quickly, Donghae's skin was smooth and warm against his brother's. His breath came out unsteady as Hyukjae smirked, his hands still working on Donghae's curved erection. Hyukjae smirked, watching his brother's face as he teased him, switching between flighty touches and long, fast strokes. He liked the way he could command Donghae's body - a rarity these days unless he was doing it with his mouth. Donghae made small noises of appreciation until Hyukjae stopped.
Donghae whined, his neck was flushed and his cheeks were slowly starting to match.
“Turn around,” Hyukjae breathed hotly into his brother's ear and Donghae did. Hyukjae trailed kisses down his brother's bare back. Donghae shivered and whimpered when Hyukjae bit down on his shoulder blade. Hyukjae slid a hand down to stroke him again, the other hand gripping his hip so that when he rolled against Donghae, Donghae could feel every part of his hardened cock against his firm behind.
"Hyuk..." Donghae whispered, pushing back as Hyukjae pressed a fingernail into the slit of his dick, making his knees shake. Donghae leant against the wall pushing back desperately in a way that Hyukjae hadn't seen since they were teenagers. Dongae had stepped out of his sodden boxers, Hyukjae's fingers twisted around Donghae's cock expertly, Hyukjae was stroking faster; Donghae leant his head back, lolling it on his brother's shoulder, lips teasing, searching for another kiss that Hyukjae granted him.
Donghae was biting his bottom lip, he always did that when he was close. Hyukjae stopped pumping his dick and brought his fingers up to Donghae's mouth where Donghae sucked them clean of his own pre cum.
“Let me fuck you.” Hyukjae growled, a new, sudden rush of need making his aching cock jerk.
“W-what?” Donghae panted.
“You heard.”
Hyukjae pulled his own underwear off and let the tip of his dick tease Donghae's hole. “Let me.” Hyukjae said, his voice hushed, pulling Donghae's cheeks apart.
Donghae swallowed hard, “fingers first.”
Hyukjae chuckled. “Don't worry,” he said, “I'll be gentle.”

Donghae was hot and felt tight around Hyukjae's digits. His body felt like it was on fire. Hyukjae's cock was throbbing but he liked to watch Donghae quiver when he moved his fingers, pressing them against his walls and pressurising him in the right places until he cried out. When Hyukjae was ready to push in, Donghae was sweating, eyes half lidded and cheeks pink with excitement.
Hyukjae nudged Donghae's entrance, entering slowly so Donghae hissed and his jaw clenched. Hyukjae smirked. “Did you forget how big I am?”
“Don't be so arrogant.” Donghae said through gritted teeth.
“You like it, baby.” Hyukjae purred. He closed his eyes and relished the tightness clenching around his cock. He growled before letting himself slam in all the way.
Hyukjae groaned, biting down on Donghae's shoulder hard, hands grasping Donghae's hips. Donghae's fingernails scratched down the wall and Hyukjae could feel him trembling with each hard thrust, not used to it.
“Hyuk-Hyukjae..!” Donghae choked, “slower!”
But Hyukjae couldn't stop now he had started, the blood was pounding in his ears, the pleasure rising in his body like the bubbles in a glass of champagne; Hyukjae's arms were strong around Donghae, holding him up, pushing into him deeper each time. Donghae rippled around him, his heat so hot Hyukjae thought he'd pass out. He couldn't remember it ever feeling as good as this.

“The window,” Donghae panted, “someone will hear us.”
Hyukjae was still smirking, “they'll hear you, you mean? Remember the time I fucked you at the children's home and you screamed so loudly they thought we were fighting and that I'd hurt you?”
“I've never seen you put your dick away so fast.” Donghae breathed, his body jerking uncontrollably because Hyukjae had fisted his cock again, spraying the wall with Donghae's precum. Suddenly, they were laughing and Donghae couldn't even remember why he was crying before. Hyukjae was smiling genuinely too, Donghae could feel Hyukjae's lips curved into a smile when he kissed him.
“You're so beautiful.” Hyukjae murmured between thrusts, “I like seeing you like this.”
He always liked to watch Donghae. Donghae always wet his lips before he called out, his hands would always search for his twin's and he always kept his eyes closed when he came. It turned him on to see Donghae turned on.
Donghae's head was bent forwards, his eyes were closed tight. Hyukjae closed his eyes too because he could feel his climax coming fast.
Donghae tugged at his erection almost feverishly, he bucked, grinding back into his twin, letting Hyukjae's cock brush his sweet spot. Donghae's legs gave way almost completely and he leant back into his brother. He came first, calling out, shivering, cum splattering the wall, his muscles spasming, prompting Hyukjae to cum; he slammed up into Donghae one final time and grunted as he emptied himself in what felt like thick reams into the other.
Donghae's eyes were still closed when Hyukjae pulled out. They fell into a heap on the bed. Donghae remembered breathing Hyukjae's name before falling asleep.

When he woke up, he felt calm. He watched Hyukjae dress for work. Hyukjae kissed Donghae before leaving. It felt strange being normal; they'd never been a normal couple, of course they hadn't and it was these times of normality, where Donghae would look up from what he was doing and catch Hyukjae doing something completely normal like humming to himself while he made something to eat or sighing in his sleep and he would be reminded of just what he was fighting for. He was reminded of how precious his life could be. He didn't want to make any more mistakes.

Donghae drifted into a light sleep but he was awoken because there was a knock at the front door. He felt delicate when he stood up, his legs were still weak. He smiled. He liked the feeling, it was one he didn't feel often, only when Hyukjae topped; he ached in all the right places and it felt good.
He was still fastening up his jeans as he got downstairs, the knocking on the front door was becoming louder. Whoever it was on the other side was becoming impatient.
It was the handsome police officer from the other day. “Good afternoon, Mr. Lee. My name is Detective Inspector Choi Siwon. I'm with the police, I have a few questions for you, may I come inside?”
Donghae saw the detective's round eyes glide down his half dressed body, devouring it darkly. Donghae stopped buttoning up the shirt he'd thrown on - Hyukjae's, it still smelled like him - and disguised a smirk with his hand. “Of course.” He said and he let Detective Choi inside. “Am I in some sort of trouble?” Donghae asked.
“No, not at all. I'm just here to ask you some questions about the break in across the street. Is your brother Hyukjae at home too?”
Donghae shook his head. He wondered how Detective Choi knew that he was Donghae. “He's at work.” He closed the door behind them, “a detective for a break in? Did they take a lot?”
“Not really. A young boy was assaulted though so we're taking it very seriously, Mr. Lee.”
“Is the kid okay?” Donghae asked. He didn't know the people across the street very well and he didn't know the boy's name but they had always come across as a nice family.
“He's in shock but he's not badly hurt.”
Donghae gestured for the detective to sit down and he did so. Donghae sat opposite him. “I'm afraid I might not be much use to you, Detective Choi. I work nights so I tend to sleep during the day.”
The detective nodded. “Anything at all is helpful, Mr. Lee.”
“Well... I woke up early evening and there were already police cars outside. I didn't hear anything or see anything...”
“And your brother?”
“He was out all day with a... A friend.”
“You don't sound too sure about that, Mr. Lee.”
Donghae shrugged. “I don't care much for Hyuk's friends sometimes.” Detective Choi nodded in understanding. Donghae sighed, regaining composure; sure this detective was here for a break in, nothing to do with Hyukjae and Donghae really but in his head, Donghae was worried that the detective would somehow know what he had done, simply by looking at him. Call him crazy, call him paranoid but he was worried that the handsome detective had come not to talk about the break in, not really, but to question him about the body found in the mountains.

“I wish I could help you, Detective Choi.” Donghae said. It was time for his eyes to wander. Siwon was an athletic looking man, lean and muscular. The corners of Detective Choi's lips were upturned, his eyes were large, his stare borderline seductive; it made Donghae shudder. It felt almost as good as his aching hips. The detective's shirt sleeves were rolled up, he had smooth skin and long fingers; he wasn't wearing a wedding band.
When he had stopped looking at the detective, their eyes met. Donghae understood what was behind the detective's eyes, a knowing yet a curiosity tinged with a slight fear, fear of the unknown. Detective Choi wet his lips before talking.
“Anything could be helpful, Mr. Lee, even if you don't think it is.”
He caught the detective's eyes wandering down his torso. Detective Choi blushed when their eyes met again.
“Detective Choi...” Donghae said, finding that his voice was low and husky, he leant forward a little, “I spend a lot of time here alone. I may live with my brother but I work nights and he works days; it's almost like living alone. I get lonely... I sound silly, don't I?”
“Of course not.” The flush playing across Detective Choi's cheeks deepened.
“You see, the thing about being lonely is people. As much as you crave another person to keep you company... Another person's touch...”
Donghae paused for effect. He watched the detective's handsome face, his eyes flickered and he saw him swallow.
“You're almost afraid. Rejection, I suppose.” Donghae looked down, wanting to laugh. He felt like himself again, like he was invincible. “I don't talk to the neighbours. I try to keep out of their affairs.”
“I... I see.” Detective Choi stammered.
Donghae stood up abruptly and turned away from Detective Choi. “I feel foolish for telling you that. Ypu're here about a break in, not about me.”
Donghae heard Detective Choi stand too, “no. Not at all, Mr. Lee.”
When Donghae turned to face him, he was smiling, “I'm sorry,” he said, “I really wish I could have been more use to you.”
Detective Choi shook his head. He had obviously been brought up to be polite, under any circumstances. “I'll give you my card. If you remember anything or if you... If you need me... Just call, okay? Day or night.”
The detective's fingers met with Donghae's as he handed his card over. The detective blushed. Donghae smirked.

Donghae stood at the front door and watched Detective Choi leave. He could see Jungsoo outside in his front garden. Jungsoo had looked up and watched Detective Choi get into his car and leave too, his eyes then moved to Donghae. Donghae wondered whether Detective Choi had already been to see Jungsoo and Jungsoo had tipped the detective off; maybe he had said that while he liked and trusted Hyukjae, he didn't like Donghae, maybe Donghae had something to do with it. Maybe he had mentioned the incident the other day when he had come over to check up on Hyukjae?
Why was everyone so determined to split them up?! Jungsoo smiled weakly at Donghae. Donghae didn't return the smile and went back inside. Maybe he was just being paranoid and that wasn't good. He had to be rational and calm in order to protect Hyukjae; he had already proven that he couldn't control himself when he wasn't calm.

----

Hyukjae had bit the bullet. “I'm sorry Sungmin,” he replied to her question of have you been avoiding me?. “I have. Sungmin... I... I don't know how to say this.”
They were in the coffee shop. It was empty aside from Sungmin and Hyukjae, most people had bought iced coffee and gone to sit in the park across the street.
Sungmin smiled breezily at Hyukjae, “you don't like me, do you?” She asked.
“Of course I do!” Hyukjae said, his cheeks flushing bright red. “You're my friend, Sungmin! I like you a lot! I-”
“No, silly. You... You don't want to be my... My boyfriend.” Sungmin was blushing too. She looked down at the counter.
“No. I don't like you in that way, Sungmin... I'm sorry.”
“It's okay.”
Hyukjae looked away too.
“Is it Kyuhyun?” Sungmin asked.
“Huh?” Hyukjae's eyes met Sungmin's. She was still blushing.
“Do you like Kyuhyun?”
“No!” Hyukjae exclaimed in surprised, then repeated himself more calmly, “no. Not at all. Kyuhyun's a friend.”
Sungmin sighed, heaving her chest almost dramatically. “You seem to have a lot of friends, Hyukjae.”
“That's not a bad thing though... Is it?” Hyukjae asked.
Sungmin rested her elbows on the counter and sighed again, “don't you ever want to find The One?” She asked. “Having friends is great but you can't marry your friends.”
Hyukjae smirked. “Why are you thinking of marriage, you're only twenty-three.”
She rolled her eyes and glared at Hyukjae, annoyed with his ignorance. “Hyukjae, you're different. You're not immature like other men - I know you understand.”
Hyukjae's smirk softened. “You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman. You don't want to waste your life by getting married.”
Sungmin looked affronted, she tossed her long hair and stood up straight, “marriage is not a waste of your life!”
Hyukjae shrugged.
“My parents have been married for over twenty-five years and they're extremely happy. I'm sure that you'd say the same about...” Sungmin cut herself and looked at Hyukjae. Her large eyes suddenly turned sad, “I'm sorry.” She said, realising what she was saying just as it became too late.

Hyukjae shrugged again. He'd only ever told her that both of his parents were dead once. Sungmin's eyes had brimmed with tears then too, she seemed more upset than he did. Donghae had always been colder towards their parents' death. Maybe it was because he could compartmentalise or push his feelings to the back of his mind but Hyukjae had never been able to be like that. Although the care home had given him peace of mind, it wasn't until Donghae and him had been alone together, truly alone together, for the first time that he felt at ease; he didn't feel guilty or sad, he felt calm. Ever since then, he had always felt calm towards his parents' death.

“I'm sorry,” she repeated, looking at the faraway expression on Hyukjae's face. Her hand reached across the counter and her fingers closed around Hyukjae's. Her skin was cold. In a flash, he felt the strange jolt of desire behind his navel, shooting down to his dick so it jerked. He had a sudden urge to feel her cool skin against his own, her thighs wrapped around his waist and her hot breath on his skin as she moaned in unashamed bliss.
He swallowed hard. Why did he feel like this? Even after what had happened between Donghae and him the other day. Now, the urge ran alongside a rush of disgust. He was betraying Donghae, after everything, he was still betraying Donghae! What sort of brother was he?! “Don't worry about it.” He told Sungmin. “I have to go.”
He left abruptly, tearing his hand away from hers.

The afternoon air outside was hot and humid with only a hint of a breeze that was just enough to ruffle Hyukjae's hair.
Kyuhyun's presence outside the coffee shop didn't surprise Hyukjae; he was used to Kyuhyun popping up wherever he was lately. “Sungmin's still inside if you want to talk to her,” Hyukjae said without looking at him.
Kyuhyun shook his head and leant against the wall like Hyukjae. “She's sad about her brother... It's all she seems to talk about lately.”
Hyukjae felt himself freeze up a little. He had told Donghae that he'd protect him this time around but he wasn't sure that he could. He wasn't strong like Donghae but was Donghae really strong? He had cried in Hyukjae's arms, he was afraid and uncertain... Is this what it felt like to be Donghae? And if this is what it felt like, then he should be able to do it just once.
“Well, he sounds like a good guy from what Sungmin's told me about him; I don't think he'd intentionally upset her like this.”
Kyuhyun shrugged, “I don't know, hyung. When I met him, he seemed a little weird.”
“You met him..?” Hyukjae repeated, dumbstruck.
Kyuhyun nodded, “yeah, a couple of weeks ago. He was outside our office building. He mentioned wanting to see you but I guess he took off before he got chance to do so.”
“I...I guess so.”
Hyukjae wondered whether Kyuhyun was clever enough to put two and two together. Not that there was a second two to put together with the first... Yet... The body was still a John Doe as far as the police and the public were concerned. Kyuhyun was clever. He was very clever but only in certain situations; he was clever with computers and mathematics but not with people or any sort of social situation. Hyukjae was sure that Kyuhyun wouldn't understand, at least not before it was too late.
“I didn't like him. He was weird.” Kyuhyun said quietly. He was scuffing his shoe along the pavement. “I'm glad he didn't stick around but he should have gone to see Sungmin.”
Hyukjae nodded. “Kyuhyun-ah... Have you told Sungmin this?”
Kyuhyun shook his head.
“Good.” Hyukjae said, suppressing a sigh. “Don't tell her, okay? It'll only upset her and neither of us want to do that, right?”
Kyuhyun nodded.
“Good.” Hyukjae repeated, even though it wasn't, it was far from it.