A Week with My Past
This past week, my so-called "boyfriend" didn't even call. Or text.
Not one single time.
And on Tuesday, who else did I meet at one of my most frequented hang-outs but..... my past !
Yes, my past was there. He usually never goes out. But there he was.
And all the feelings I never thought I could feel again came whooshing back into my body.
The butterflies in my tummy, the frog in my throat, the cat at my tongue, they all existed again.
And when I smelled him when he hugged me. Gawd, his smell!!!
Who knew a scent could trigger so many memories all at once?
I thought I was going to die.
I spent Tuesday night with him. And most of Wednesday.
And we talked. And talked. And talked. And talked.
We did more. But I'd rather not say what they were. He's just my past after all.
But I didn't regret a single thing.
I didn't think of my "boyfriend" a single time, not unless it was to compare him in my mind to the greatness of my past.
It's making me wonder why the hell I'm with my "boyfriend" when all I truly want is my past.
Why am I wasting so much time on someone I don't even give a rat's ass about?!?
I'm seeing my past again tonight.
My "boyfriend" will be there, too.
Lord, give me strength to breathe.