(no subject)
Where to begin...
i have decided to start a new journal, because i feel i have grown out of my old one. In the last 5 years i have changed very much about myself. Who i talk to, associate with, friends with, career moves, married life, and opinions. There are things in my life that have come to pass, that i wish i could go through again... im sure everyone wishes that, but i believe that i fast-tracked my life to the point where i am starting to miss myself. Im begining to miss everything about me. Life has moved so fast these last years that i often wonder, what i would be doing, and where i would be if i didnt allow it to progress at the speed it has. I often wonder about the past and where everything and everyone fit. There are a great many people that have walked into my life just as fast as they walked out... There are people i never gave a chance to... and people i got so hung up on. You always wonder what if i would have done the opposite of what ive done... i wonder where i would be... and who i would be with. I fell in love with a girl, that i dont think loved me for all the reasons i loved her. I have loved many... but i never knew who loved back. I will always wonder what if. What if i was the one you were looking for... what if everything i ever wanted i found in you. What if i made a mistake. What if i rushed things to fast to help myself get over you. what if i loved you, even when i hated you. What if i always knew you'd leave me. How come i left you. Where would i be if you never gave me the confidence i have today. Where am i now... im here without you, always wondering what could have been between us, had i only not followed through with all i am today. What will become of you. I often wonder if you think of me, like i think of you.
if only...
i have decided to start a new journal, because i feel i have grown out of my old one. In the last 5 years i have changed very much about myself. Who i talk to, associate with, friends with, career moves, married life, and opinions. There are things in my life that have come to pass, that i wish i could go through again... im sure everyone wishes that, but i believe that i fast-tracked my life to the point where i am starting to miss myself. Im begining to miss everything about me. Life has moved so fast these last years that i often wonder, what i would be doing, and where i would be if i didnt allow it to progress at the speed it has. I often wonder about the past and where everything and everyone fit. There are a great many people that have walked into my life just as fast as they walked out... There are people i never gave a chance to... and people i got so hung up on. You always wonder what if i would have done the opposite of what ive done... i wonder where i would be... and who i would be with. I fell in love with a girl, that i dont think loved me for all the reasons i loved her. I have loved many... but i never knew who loved back. I will always wonder what if. What if i was the one you were looking for... what if everything i ever wanted i found in you. What if i made a mistake. What if i rushed things to fast to help myself get over you. what if i loved you, even when i hated you. What if i always knew you'd leave me. How come i left you. Where would i be if you never gave me the confidence i have today. Where am i now... im here without you, always wondering what could have been between us, had i only not followed through with all i am today. What will become of you. I often wonder if you think of me, like i think of you.
if only...