Its a Brand New Day
So I'm back on my meds. My stomach doesn't hurt so much anymore. I still don't eat much, but atleast food doesn't nauseate me. My paid vacation from work is over, and I'm kinda glad. I feel better when I'm busy.
I think part of the reason why I've been feeling so down is because everyone around me did things early in life. Lindsay has been living with Beth, whom she loves dearly, for a couple years now. My sister has an associates, a house, a husband and two children and shes only 4 years older then me. Lauren Lives in a beautiful apartment and has her BA in psych.
But you know what, no one is happy. Lindsay and Beth argue all the time and Lindsay wants to go to college but can't afford it. Shes stuck working third shift in a plastics factory while Beth works in customer service in a Whole Foods factory. My sister fights with Jim all the time and the children make her irritable and her and Jim have to work 12 hr shifts just so they can afford to live and she doesn't even like her house! She wants better. Lauren has to work two jobs to afford her apartment that she got screwed with by her ex roomate and she's incredibly lonely. She'll be 28, still a virgin, no boyfriend, and no time for fun.
So yes, I may feel like a loser living at home and working a shitty paying job, but atleast I am going to College, I am working towards iundependance. As much as I want a truly passionate lover, relationships can hold you back from doing what you want to do with your life. My job is flexible so I can go to school and I have financial aid that makes it all happen. I'm just nervous about getting a degree in something I can't use.
I am changing my major from psych to secondary ed in English. Mrs. Ricci would love to do my student teaching with me so atleast I have resources. It'll be hard getting started, but once I do end up in a teaching position, I'll be making decent enough money so I can afford to be independant. I think I just put too much pressure on myself. Its like my dad says, I'm doing everything I possibly can for myself right now.
I think I should start dating again. Maybe sometime I'll check out Mira Bar or something. It would be nice to have someone to go with, but James is right, being independant means emotionally as well as finacially. It'll all work out in the end. I just need to have faith in myself, in life, and not be afraid to work hard towards achieveing something I can be proud of.
My Anthropology class was canceled today. I think I'm going to log off and head over to Adams Library so I can get some reading in. Though I am a little hungry, maybe I'll stop by Donavan and see if there are any Burrillvillians over there. I always wanted to leave Burrillville, and now I am thinking of spending the rest of my life there. Mr. Cash was right I guess. I would ultimately like to live in Woonsocket, but teach in a nearby district, not in Woonsocket. lol
Peace comes from within, do not seek it without. ~ Buddah
I think part of the reason why I've been feeling so down is because everyone around me did things early in life. Lindsay has been living with Beth, whom she loves dearly, for a couple years now. My sister has an associates, a house, a husband and two children and shes only 4 years older then me. Lauren Lives in a beautiful apartment and has her BA in psych.
But you know what, no one is happy. Lindsay and Beth argue all the time and Lindsay wants to go to college but can't afford it. Shes stuck working third shift in a plastics factory while Beth works in customer service in a Whole Foods factory. My sister fights with Jim all the time and the children make her irritable and her and Jim have to work 12 hr shifts just so they can afford to live and she doesn't even like her house! She wants better. Lauren has to work two jobs to afford her apartment that she got screwed with by her ex roomate and she's incredibly lonely. She'll be 28, still a virgin, no boyfriend, and no time for fun.
So yes, I may feel like a loser living at home and working a shitty paying job, but atleast I am going to College, I am working towards iundependance. As much as I want a truly passionate lover, relationships can hold you back from doing what you want to do with your life. My job is flexible so I can go to school and I have financial aid that makes it all happen. I'm just nervous about getting a degree in something I can't use.
I am changing my major from psych to secondary ed in English. Mrs. Ricci would love to do my student teaching with me so atleast I have resources. It'll be hard getting started, but once I do end up in a teaching position, I'll be making decent enough money so I can afford to be independant. I think I just put too much pressure on myself. Its like my dad says, I'm doing everything I possibly can for myself right now.
I think I should start dating again. Maybe sometime I'll check out Mira Bar or something. It would be nice to have someone to go with, but James is right, being independant means emotionally as well as finacially. It'll all work out in the end. I just need to have faith in myself, in life, and not be afraid to work hard towards achieveing something I can be proud of.
My Anthropology class was canceled today. I think I'm going to log off and head over to Adams Library so I can get some reading in. Though I am a little hungry, maybe I'll stop by Donavan and see if there are any Burrillvillians over there. I always wanted to leave Burrillville, and now I am thinking of spending the rest of my life there. Mr. Cash was right I guess. I would ultimately like to live in Woonsocket, but teach in a nearby district, not in Woonsocket. lol
Peace comes from within, do not seek it without. ~ Buddah