Roxie
since getting back from Orientation (and even Orientation itself), so much has happened that i have not recorded. it's because the intensity of everything has been sweet and hard and pure and all of these Things are more than things to me, so to put words to them is somewhat daunting.
but i will say that i went to my first strip club in Phoenix with Pete and Jenn Friday night (i have had a good deal of Firsts with them) and even though i did not get a lap dance much to Jenn's dismay, it really wasn't bad and i could see a lot of it as just dancing, which i of course respect. if i were to go to one again, i'd prefer to be more inebriated and i would definitely get a lap dance, but only if Jenn were to be next to me and if the girl was cool. =)
i've been worried about money but starting today i am trying to make it a practice not to worry about it, because this is the perfect time for me to exemplify the lifestyle that i believe in, the kind where creative visualization is pretty important and valid, as well as attention and intention. part of the reason i came here was to feel the challenges that i am feeling, and i am trying daily to regard the difficulties as just difficulties, knowing that i always somehow get by and i will get through this, too.
in other words, i don't know if i can match Jenn's entry in terms of how awesome it is to be with her. keep in mind i am in the library because i still don't have Internet at my house, so i feel like my writing here is presently a bit business sounding. but anyway, Jenn. Jenn and skin and sexday Saturday, and babe and doubles and Love. it is awesome to get a phone call after my dance class where i was a fish swimming in water with a fluid spine and hear, "can i come kiss you?" and then to be picked up on the side of the road and be able to just do that.
i was reading over some parts of my journal from last year that were about her, and being with her and physically apart from her. i read over the crying log that i had created. and if i were reading that anywhere else but in Prescott, i'm sure it would have made me cry hard again. and it's just awesome and beautiful to not do that now. to have transcended beyond that. to have found a creative solution, and one that allows for us to be together and to also be leading our own lives.
here's to traveling, missy. =D