(no subject)
i'm sorry that you misunderstood. i'm sorry that you didn't even give me the chance to explain myself. i'm sorry that you feel that it was a waste of time. no matter what you say to me, i'll never think so. i'm sorry that you got hurt. i'm sorry that you STILL think that i kissed josh. i most definitely did NOT. it doesn't even make sense that i would kiss him in front of like 200 people and then completely deny it. yea. if i wanted to lie, i could do much better than that. but that's NOT what i'm doing. and if you just hate me so much, then why in the world would you have read that entire last post? yea... doesn't make sense. i DID care about you. i still do to some point. but when you blatantly don't believe a word that i'm saying, well... i don't know if i want your friendship. but i guess that's alright, right? cuz you don't want mine anyway. the last post was an attempt for complete honesty. no, it wasn't an attempt... it was the real thing. the only lie i EVER said to you was that i never intended to get back with josh. but then again, i was lieing to myself too and i completely believed it, so was it even then a lie? i don't know why i waste my time even writing this out to you. maybe it's cuz i don't feel like you're a waste of time even if this isn't going to do anything. maybe i feel like i owe myself this much respect. maybe. i never lied to you about anything else. i never once EVER INTENTIONALLY lied to you about ANYTHING. i've tried to be nothing less than a good friend to you like i thought you considered me. whatever it is. i don't want to make any pointed remarks or start any(more) fights or insult you in any way cuz that's not what i'm trying to do. i'm half trying to apologize for your hurt and half trying to show you that i didn't do it intentionally. i would never hurt you intentionally. i'm sorry that you don't know me enough to see that.