Hooray for Santy Claus!
As I've mentioned on my Facebook recently, I've been cast as Santa Claus in a local stage production of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". As you can imagine, it's going to be very tongue and cheek and, being the midnight show, for mature audiences only. Now, to make sure it's completely original, all people involved in the production are able to contribute creatively to the script. Our one rule; "Be funny!" With that in mind, I've written an original monologue for Santa Claus before he has his "final showdown" with Voldar that everyone in the production LOVES. Now I know most people on my LJ list won't be able to see it live, so for your benefit I'm including it in this post;
"Okay you green-skinned son of a Grinch, LISTEN UP... First you barge into my workshop, uninvited I might add... Then you freeze my workers AND my wife... Then you try to blast me out of an airlock... Then you kidnap Dropo (which honestly, I'm willing to overlook)... But now? NOW you've got the JINGLE BELLS to just waltz in here and threaten me with a laser gun... Well, that DOES it! No more Mister "Right Jolly Old Elf", YOU have officially become NUMERO UNO on my "Naughty" list... And now, it's PLAYTIME!"
"Okay you green-skinned son of a Grinch, LISTEN UP... First you barge into my workshop, uninvited I might add... Then you freeze my workers AND my wife... Then you try to blast me out of an airlock... Then you kidnap Dropo (which honestly, I'm willing to overlook)... But now? NOW you've got the JINGLE BELLS to just waltz in here and threaten me with a laser gun... Well, that DOES it! No more Mister "Right Jolly Old Elf", YOU have officially become NUMERO UNO on my "Naughty" list... And now, it's PLAYTIME!"