thankless job
Sometimes it is just hard to wake up.
I know I need to get up, that I have shit to do. Despite my body not wanting, I somehow manage. I look at my life and I know it's nothing special. But it could be so much worse, or at the very least this is what I keep telling myself. It's difficult to do on occasion because all I can think about is that I'm not pulling in a steady paycheck.
That makes me worry.
Of course, many things make me worry, really. But I worry about money because I want to take care of the girl I love. I want her to look at me and not see the same thing I see. And I know she doesn't, because she wasn't there for the dark bits like I was. It's just that I fear one day I'm going to wake up and find that she's realized hat I'm really not worth the effort.
So I come here and I write this shite out so it isn't driving me quite so insane. Sometimes it even works. I feel dizzy, so I'm going to go lay down now.