Gentle Art?
I picked up Brazilian Jiu-jitsu (BJJ) recently. To be honest, it has been a really humbling experience so far. I did my fair share of research before doing this, and every one said the same thing: you're gonna get your ass kicked for the first three months.
They are absolutely right.
When I'm sparring with someone, half the time I'm just using brute force because I really don't know what to do with my limbs. I get worn out so easily because of that, it's like 30 seconds in, and I'm ready to tap out. Talk about being lousy...
Every one in the school I signed with is friendly, kind. But there's this nagging feeling that no one really wants to roll with a true white belt like me. The subtle avoidance of eye contact, the shifting of seats when the instructor calls for rolling, and the most obvious of it all - people skip me to roll with another student. Even the other white belts are picky! It is kind of discouraging.
Someone tried to choke me today and it felt extremely bad, not the physical kind of bad, but mentally - why did I manage to let him crush my throat? The feeling was distasteful and my sorry ego plummeted.
I really want to pull this through though. It's only the beginning. The purpose of writing this down is just to heal my smashed ego, heh.
I will only get better at this thing called BJJ, right?
:D