Dust, mosquitoes, and bird shit
Isn't there a saying that goes: the first business trip of your life will be the worst ever. Now, who said that? I promise I won't curse them for 3 days for hitting the nail on the head.
So, where did I go?
I remember my mom laughed (such a mean mother) when I first told her the location of my first ever business trip, because just a few days back, before I knew I was posted, in my arrogant and annoying voice I said, "Hah, who the hell would want to go India! Even if I visited the entire world, I would never go there!"
Folks, this is what I call the epitome of Karma. Don't even make jokes about it, what goes around comes around!
A month later, I was gathering my stuff and on a 4-hour journey to Bengaluru, India.
It was not the most pleasant flight, because prior to flying, I fell extremely sick but it was also not the kind of sick where I could not get out of bed. Being a responsible worker, I suppressed my illness and boarded the plane, coughing all the way and leaving millions of bacteria behind.
Bengaluru was 2 and a half hours behind us and it was drizzling when we (my colleagues and I) arrived. To my delightful surprise, the weather was a great relief from Singapore's recent hazy and stuffy atmosphere. With the rain, I reckoned it was about 18 degrees. We stood in the cold waiting for our ride and it was 3 am Singapore's time when we finally checked in to our hotel. By then, I felt like I had battled a cow and an elephant.
The next morning, we were all ready for work! However, no matter how much preparation we had beforehand, nothing could get us prepared for this mental torture that was probably laughing at us as we inched closer to the Convention Centre of Doom.
The 'press room' that was assigned to my company was really just a segregated part of the convention centre, which I affectionately called it the Construction Site. Sawdust covered the tables and chairs. Dozens of mosquitoes were zooming left and right, I was sure they were celebrating their impending huge human feast. However, sawdust and mosquitoes were nothing - nothing at all - compared to what a typical Singaporean-bred kid could not tolerate.
THERE WAS NO AIR-CON.
*Gulp*
It was so hot and humid that we sweated through our shirts even before we started any work. My very helpful colleague (I think he's too helpful for his own good and he's the type who tries to help but doesn't know his stuff very well and y'know, just end up creating trouble for you) told me it was a must to dress formal. Being the obedient, gullible little shit I was, I happily packed 2 blazers, 1 long-sleeved shirt, 1 pair of jeans and another thick hoodie for sleeping. Gosh.
We settled down, set our computers and began work. Every now and then, I would hear my colleagues typing on the keyboard and then, *smack* *smack* *type* *smack* *smack* Hilarious scene, I tell y'all! I was just sitting there doing my work, wiping off the beads of sweat on my forehead and slapping the shit out of those mosquitoes that crossed my sight. Imagine 5 people doing all the same thing, such clowns!
When it was time for lunch, we boiled some water for cup noodles and were, arguably, having a better time when suddenly, one of my colleagues pointed upwards and exclaimed, "what's that!?" All of us simultaneously turned our face in that direction and were shocked to see white smoke drifting just 2 meters above our heads. Another colleague then went out to investigate the culprit which interfered everyone's lunch time, only to return and say, "it's mosquito repellent".
WAH KAO.
In a moment of urgency, we took what we could and hilariously, everybody chose to leave their work behind and instead, save the cup noodles in our hands and bolted out of the, now smoke-engulfed room. The repellent smoke relentlessly made its way wherever we went and eventually, we found ourselves outside the convention centre entirely, LOL.
And so, under the hot, unyielding sun, we stood there with our cup noodles and looked upon the convention centre with indescribable feelings. Well, we thought the smoke would take some time to disperse so might as well, continue our lunch. Just when we thought things could not get any worse, *splat* *splat* *splat* A bird, a big ass fat bird perching above our heads was shitting his last lunch out and it accurately landed on my poor colleague's arm (some splashed on her face, omg eww). *splat* *splat* *splat* The rest of us shot out of the shitting range and I swear I almost spit my noodles out because what the fuck??? LOLOL. So there I was, laughing and coughing hysterically, with noodles in my throat, and snort flowing out of my nose. Thinking back, I am surprised I did not choke to my death. My goodness, we definitely won the Biggest Loser award that day.
Defeated, I tried for a positive outcome by saying, "at least now there won't be any more mosquitoes", only to be met with more glum faces. Lol, we then went back to work without anymore mishaps.
For the next two days, I was in a trance. Wake up, cough, go to the convention centre, work, cough, work more, cough, end work, go back to hotel room, cough, knock out. Wash, rinse, repeat. On the second night, I was coughing so much that I dry heaved for about 10 minutes and my sides rolled up in stitches. Every cough felt like someone punched me in the gut. I felt mortally sorry for myself.
I did not join my colleagues in their North Indian cuisine adventure because any spice or non-spice food could aggravate my cruel cough, so I stayed in my hotel room throughout and pretty soon, it was time to go home. I did not get to experience India at all to be honest. Every day was hectic, and Bengaluru was a city of... nothing. There was not a speck fly worth of things to see and all I really remember was dust, mosquitoes, and bird shit.
Will I go back to India again? I don't think so and I'm here, crossing my fingers really hard that my second business trip will be a better one. No more bird shit, please.
So, where did I go?
I remember my mom laughed (such a mean mother) when I first told her the location of my first ever business trip, because just a few days back, before I knew I was posted, in my arrogant and annoying voice I said, "Hah, who the hell would want to go India! Even if I visited the entire world, I would never go there!"
Folks, this is what I call the epitome of Karma. Don't even make jokes about it, what goes around comes around!
A month later, I was gathering my stuff and on a 4-hour journey to Bengaluru, India.
It was not the most pleasant flight, because prior to flying, I fell extremely sick but it was also not the kind of sick where I could not get out of bed. Being a responsible worker, I suppressed my illness and boarded the plane, coughing all the way and leaving millions of bacteria behind.
Bengaluru was 2 and a half hours behind us and it was drizzling when we (my colleagues and I) arrived. To my delightful surprise, the weather was a great relief from Singapore's recent hazy and stuffy atmosphere. With the rain, I reckoned it was about 18 degrees. We stood in the cold waiting for our ride and it was 3 am Singapore's time when we finally checked in to our hotel. By then, I felt like I had battled a cow and an elephant.
The next morning, we were all ready for work! However, no matter how much preparation we had beforehand, nothing could get us prepared for this mental torture that was probably laughing at us as we inched closer to the Convention Centre of Doom.
The 'press room' that was assigned to my company was really just a segregated part of the convention centre, which I affectionately called it the Construction Site. Sawdust covered the tables and chairs. Dozens of mosquitoes were zooming left and right, I was sure they were celebrating their impending huge human feast. However, sawdust and mosquitoes were nothing - nothing at all - compared to what a typical Singaporean-bred kid could not tolerate.
THERE WAS NO AIR-CON.
*Gulp*
It was so hot and humid that we sweated through our shirts even before we started any work. My very helpful colleague (I think he's too helpful for his own good and he's the type who tries to help but doesn't know his stuff very well and y'know, just end up creating trouble for you) told me it was a must to dress formal. Being the obedient, gullible little shit I was, I happily packed 2 blazers, 1 long-sleeved shirt, 1 pair of jeans and another thick hoodie for sleeping. Gosh.
We settled down, set our computers and began work. Every now and then, I would hear my colleagues typing on the keyboard and then, *smack* *smack* *type* *smack* *smack* Hilarious scene, I tell y'all! I was just sitting there doing my work, wiping off the beads of sweat on my forehead and slapping the shit out of those mosquitoes that crossed my sight. Imagine 5 people doing all the same thing, such clowns!
When it was time for lunch, we boiled some water for cup noodles and were, arguably, having a better time when suddenly, one of my colleagues pointed upwards and exclaimed, "what's that!?" All of us simultaneously turned our face in that direction and were shocked to see white smoke drifting just 2 meters above our heads. Another colleague then went out to investigate the culprit which interfered everyone's lunch time, only to return and say, "it's mosquito repellent".
WAH KAO.
In a moment of urgency, we took what we could and hilariously, everybody chose to leave their work behind and instead, save the cup noodles in our hands and bolted out of the, now smoke-engulfed room. The repellent smoke relentlessly made its way wherever we went and eventually, we found ourselves outside the convention centre entirely, LOL.
And so, under the hot, unyielding sun, we stood there with our cup noodles and looked upon the convention centre with indescribable feelings. Well, we thought the smoke would take some time to disperse so might as well, continue our lunch. Just when we thought things could not get any worse, *splat* *splat* *splat* A bird, a big ass fat bird perching above our heads was shitting his last lunch out and it accurately landed on my poor colleague's arm (some splashed on her face, omg eww). *splat* *splat* *splat* The rest of us shot out of the shitting range and I swear I almost spit my noodles out because what the fuck??? LOLOL. So there I was, laughing and coughing hysterically, with noodles in my throat, and snort flowing out of my nose. Thinking back, I am surprised I did not choke to my death. My goodness, we definitely won the Biggest Loser award that day.
Defeated, I tried for a positive outcome by saying, "at least now there won't be any more mosquitoes", only to be met with more glum faces. Lol, we then went back to work without anymore mishaps.
For the next two days, I was in a trance. Wake up, cough, go to the convention centre, work, cough, work more, cough, end work, go back to hotel room, cough, knock out. Wash, rinse, repeat. On the second night, I was coughing so much that I dry heaved for about 10 minutes and my sides rolled up in stitches. Every cough felt like someone punched me in the gut. I felt mortally sorry for myself.
I did not join my colleagues in their North Indian cuisine adventure because any spice or non-spice food could aggravate my cruel cough, so I stayed in my hotel room throughout and pretty soon, it was time to go home. I did not get to experience India at all to be honest. Every day was hectic, and Bengaluru was a city of... nothing. There was not a speck fly worth of things to see and all I really remember was dust, mosquitoes, and bird shit.
Will I go back to India again? I don't think so and I'm here, crossing my fingers really hard that my second business trip will be a better one. No more bird shit, please.